In 2009, Lindsay Lohan got anorexic, dumped, drunk, caught stealing, and started a horrible, horrible fashion line. Her drinking and drugging and displays of her lady bits are, at this point, par-for-the-course. So these are Lindsay Lohan's OTHER worst (or best, depending how you look at it) moments of 2009.
Got Caught Stealing Again
Lindsay was recently at Crown Bar in Los Angeles, when she got thirsty and "stormed into the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of really expensive champagne." But she didn't want to pay for them.
I can relate to this, because times are tight for everyone. Except when I go out and feel too poor to pay, I just order water. I rarely, if ever, expect ‘Twilight’ star Kellen Lutz to pick up my tab.
Expect for that one time.
Man, it must be nice never to pay for anything. That's what happens when you become a big, Hollywood star. Maybe Lindsay should try that sometime.
First the Italian fashion house Ungaro, then NOT the jewelry designer Pascal Mouawad. Lindsay might want to be insanely talented and create spectacular pieces of design ingenuity. But really, its just the "insane" part that's likely. Regarding her stint as Creative Director at Ungaro (which, incidentally, she did for free):
The LA Times said, "Nothing in the collection evidenced any real skill or discernible design work … there’s really no defending this misguided collection, other than as a desperate bid for attention from a house that hasn’t mattered since its founder retired in 2004."
Made An Ass Out Of Herself After the Emmys
If I were an actress trying to get my career back. And if I were on alcohol-related probation while skipping my drug- and alcohol-abuse classes. And if I told everyone I don't drink (and don't lie)... then I probably wouldn't be seen stumbling - drunk - out of an after party at Chateau Marmont. And caught throwing beer cans at the paparazzi.
But that's just me. And I'm old-fashioned.
...and peroxided. (August 2009)
This girl was once so hot even I would've done her. Now I'd be afraid to breathe next to her, for fear of airborne contaminants.
Lindsay, please give me back my girl crush. Get rid of the bad bleach job, the extensions, the collagen...and the drug habit. And maybe take a shower. Then, if Megan Fox is busy, I will reconsider wanting to go a little bit gay for you.
But no promises.
Got Caught Stealing
Lindsay developed a new definition of "share" back in 2007 when she allegedly "discovered" over $10,000 of clothes and jewelry that didn't belong to her. And took them home.
Fast-forward to 2009, poor Lindsay is still battling her kleptomania. According to insiders, Lindsay walked off a London fashion shoot with over $45,000 in jewelry.
I can't really blame her. Jewelry is pretty and coke is expensive.
Scratched a Borrowed Maserati
Dennis DeSantis, a captain of the honorable p*********y profession, let Lindsay borrow his $130,000 Maserati - no strings attached. Obviously, that's a super sweet thing to do, but a lot of guys expect a blowjob if they buy a girl a Starbucks, so I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that maybe Mr. DeSantis was only "joking" when he said he didn't expect anything in return.
And this wicked valet scratch and the rest of the damage she did to that car is probably going on a tab. And that tab's name is "Salad-Tossing Sweeties and Dynamite Double-Penetrated porn S**ts." Or something. You get the idea.
...Well, she entertained the idea, anyway. Lindsay had meetings with the director of the Vegas production "Peepshow," and was quoted as saying "If they make me an offer and the money's right, I'll do it." That's really not the kind of thing that makes an A-List star shine brighter. Next up? porn.
Hey, it happens to the best of us. That wasn't the problem. This was:
"Ronson broke it off with her last Friday, and hired five security guards to keep Lohan out of a party at the Chateau Marmont. The next day, Ronson changed the locks on the Hollywood Hills home (and) on Monday, Ronson's mom and sister asked police about obtaining a restraining order." - Us Magazine
Break-ups really do happen to the best of us...but it's only a select few that chase it by getting locked out and served with a restraining order. Nicely done!