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The Coolest Rescue You Have Ever SeenvThis extremely intense fight scene is intensified even greater with all of the added pow! sounds. They happen all the time: when someone throws a punch, when a sword is thrusted, when a cut to a different take is used, when someone takes a breath. There is no end to the use of pow! sounds, and rightly so. I really do believe that more is more in this situation.
The Best Shot in the EastvLet me be the first to say that these guys are speed demons. Check out :48 when the hero loses his hat; no biggie though, he's gotta keep going. The action really get's going at 1:49 when the hero goes over a small bump and his bike plops over in the dirt. But the hero manages to roll himself to safety (thank god!)
The second half of the clip is a series of bad shooting, when suddenly these bad guys in suits show up and pull on what I believe is supposed to be pantyhose over their heads. What it looks like tough is a silky, burlap sack. It's a wonder that they even shot the hero at all.
Superman Ain't Got Nothin On MustachevThis is probably the best example of how ridiculous this genre is, and why you should share it with your children.
Before you read what happens, watch it in the video embedded here. THIS is what is missing from pretty much every Superman movie ever made. Why has nobody ever done this?
Here's what happens:
This man is shot in the chest, and NOT ONLY does the bullet deflect off his chest with a "ping" sound (scorching his shirt slightly, of course), but it flies back and takes out the man who shot it. Genius.
Also, doesn't this guy kinda remind you of Nick Offerman from "Parks and Recreation?" The mustache is uncanny. Just saying.
It's Like the Matrix, Only More BadassvThis one reminds me of the opening scene of the Bejing Olympics, because everyone knows karate.
It's basically a real-life version of that scene in the Matrix Reloaded where Neo takes out like 1,203,984,203,984 Agent Smiths.
It all starts at 1:05 when the bad guy grabs the girl (noticing a theme here?)
What happens next is every guy in the gym is after the bad guy, but, even together, they can't stop him, which is amazing.
They also pull a move which is central to the personality of this piece, and which American movies NEVER do: they film from the POV of a character... and include his hair. Eat THAT, America!
I would think that a guy could at least pull his leg out from behind or something, or maybe they should probably stop taking turns.
Anyone else get the bowling metaphor at 1:46? Deep.
This clip, although it even looks as fake as "pro" wrestling (sorry 60 million people who watch it), is absolutely awesome. Why? Because this character is just that badass and puts Josh Brolin from No Country For Old Men to shame.
Reminder to self: get shoes that blow air.
Evil Americans vs. Awesome Indian GuyvIn pure chivalrous tradition, this man defends a damsel in distress from evil, rude, and overzealous Americans (cause c'mon, we're all like that, right?)
You can tell something big's about to go down at 0:27, when you can just feel the "Oh, hell no," look coming onto the guy's face.
He proceeds to beat the bad guys by splashing condiments in their faces, which for some reason burn like acid (maybe they're all laced with chili powder?), and with a severely overdramatized table throw at 0:48.
And just when you think he's done for, he comes back from the dead at 1:05. Not really, though. I mean, if I was in a fight, I wouldn't just leave the guy after I threw him over a counter. That usually doesn't knock people out. But oh well, guess that's why I'm not in Bollywood fight scenes, as I would inevitably the guy getting his ass kicked.
For a bonus, just go to 0:55.
Most Awesome Cigarette Lighting EvervFirst of all, let's take a fine look at that double jump front kick in the beginning. Two feet, three guys. I think the power of the front kick from hitting the first two guys was so intense that it must've reverberated over to the third guy on the left. Either that, of this cop is actually that good.
Just watch this badass pull one cigarette out of the box, throw the rest away, and aim so well with his toy pistol that he grazes it just enough to light it and not annihilate it. Also, if you watch closely at :21, the now-lit tip of the cigarette has landed in the guy's hand, but no matter. This guy's a cop. Just flip that baby right around and you've got yourself a finely-lit cigarette.
The Coolest Bottle Drinker in the WorldvGod, I wish I could open bottles with my fingers. Make things a WHOLE lot easier.
Watch this amazing clip of just how badass a guy who can throw a mean bottle can be (also, how badass a man who doesn't leave a BIT of backwash in his bottles can be).
Anyway, this clip shows a man who should be an NFL quarterback (despite his stomach/mustache) chucking a recently-chugged soda bottle at a villain's head as he runs away.
From a good 50 feet, the throw is a direct hit, and smashes on the guy's head, rolling his eyes back and knocking him out.
Following this, there's a brilliantly-choreographed fight scene in which a man stops a knife attack with his teeth, somehow not pulling a Steve-O and cutting the corners of his mouth with it (chapstick, anybody?)
Walker, Texas Ranger could learn a thing or two from real Indians, not the Native Americans who raised him.
Man Lightly Kicks Everyone Into Another DimensionvThis guy is so awesome that he doesn't even have to actually kick any of these bad guys from them to get the picture. Just the thought of that spinning double kick is enough for them to keel over in pain.
And just take a look at how hard this guy is hitting that big, evil dude in the purple. That is some hard hitting patty-cake there, that is. What I wonder is, how did those other guys not even get touched and get knocked out, yet Mr. Purple doesn't feel a thing?
Oh, and don't forget to watch towards the end, where this guy is able to suspend himself over Mr. Purple and repeatedly karate chop this guy in the neck. Gold for your eyes, folks.