Edward Jones, Queen Victoria's Panty Sniffer
Who wouldn't want to play "find the knickers" with her?
If you’re going to stalk, go for the gold, right? Staking his claim as the original celebrity stalker, Edward Jones gained headlines in the 19th century as the Buckingham Palace intruder, which wasn’t too difficult of a task at the time since security was loosely organized and guards were often preoccupied with socializing with prostitutes and getting drunk.
It is purported that his infatuation may have begun at the sight of a newspaper illustration of Queen Victoria, in which portraits of royalty would often be exaggerated in beauty and image. Call it the Photoshop of the 19th century.
The most infamous of all his break-ins occurred in 1838 when he was caught red-handed in Queen Victoria’s dressing room with several pairs of the Queen’s underthings stuffed inside his trousers, along with an opened letter to the Queen and an entire portrait of his beloved. At the point of his interrogation, Jones claimed to be doing some hands-on research for a book on the palace. He was subsequently put on trial, but found not guilty by judges.
After a few more busts within the palace, Jones’s shenanigans began to exhaust the royal family, and they resorted to an illegal means of disengaging him with his precious Queen - kidnapping him and forcing him into working the rigorous profession of a seaman within the Royal Navy Vessel. There are no reports on whether Jones was able to keep the underthings.
Margaret Mary Ray, David Letterman's "Wife"
When it comes to celeb stalking, there's just no time to check makeup
A classic case of a schizophrenic stalker, Ray’s obsession with Letterman began in the mid-80’s when her marriage fell apart, leaving her in custody of her five children, all while managing a stealthy pursuit of talk show host David Letterman.
Ray's most infamous incident took place in 1988 when she, with her three-year-old son in tow, drove off in Letterman’s Porsche (which was parked in his driveway), claiming that they were married and that her son was their child. Ray was found guilty of trespassing eight times over the next few years, as well as doing incredibly creepy stuff like leaving letters and books in his driveway, and cookies and an empty whiskey bottle behind in the foyer of Letterman’s Connecticut home. When Letterman found Ray sleeping on his tennis court, she was finally sent to Niantic State Prison for harassment.
However, Letterman refused to press criminal charges against Ray, stating, “I wasn’t comfortable with the humanity of that.” Ray was released from prison in the 1990s, after which she dropped Letterman faster than a hot potato for her newest pursuit: astronaut Story Musgrave.
But only if you keep the space suit on.
She sent him letters, packages, telephone calls, and even posed as a reporter to gain a closer proximity. She was sent to jail for trespassing, again, after showing up unannounced at Musgrave's home.
Once released for the last time from prison, Ray moved to Hotchkiss, Colorado, until committing suicide by kneeling on a railroad track in front of an oncoming train. Yikes.
The Tom Jones Codpiece Thief
The living, breathing, singing incarnate of all things sexy, Tom Jones never found it unusual for women’s panties to make their way to him on stage during his performances, but during a particular concert in Swansea, he found himself in the midst of panties other than those of his adoring fans and he recounts the incident.
“I felt something damp and rancid smelling land on my face and everything went black...it was an extra-large pair of men’s y-fronts! They were in bloody disgusting condition too, boyo! There were huge skid marks all down the back, and weird yellowish stains down the front - some were still damp!”
Poor Jones, this disgusting act of perversion can only be linked to jealousy; who would want to terrorize the icon of foxy that is Tom Jones?
Targeted a second time in Port Talbot while performing “Delilah,” he was knocked unconscious for four minutes after an object was hurled at him onstage. Upon regaining consciousness, he realized he had been hit by a jockstrap. The terrorizing didn’t end there, and poor Jones recounts once again an incident involving human excretions during his performance of “Sex Bomb” at Neath Town Hall.
“This extra-large condom full of stale j**m came flying out of the audience and hit me in the face. I was spattered with cold semen - it took hours to get off. I'm telling you boyo, I had to scrub my face so hard I thought the tan was going to come off!”
By now, the stalker was just patting himself on the back for his impeccable timing and aim. It wasn’t until the ultimate misdemeanor (Jones's codpiece was stolen during his Welsh tour) that Jones was nearly driven out of the business and into insanity.
"In the end I had to go on stage with half a dozen rolled up rugby socks down my trousers. It just wasn't the same - my groin looked too lumpy and my thrusting just wasn't energetic enough! Several members of the audience left early!"
I would've left early, too. Who could sit through a concert without that fine piece of man?
Detectives took matters (as well as the manly poo poo that was thrown on Jones) into their own hands, connecting the semen to a Tom Jones impersonator in Aberystwyth who had built a shrine to the stolen codpiece in his spare bedroom. Upon retrieval of his beloved codpiece, Jones retorted, “I'm just glad to have it back – I feel a complete man again!” And the world is back on its axis and relieved to have the tantalizing entertainer feeling 100% sexbomb again!
John Hinckley Jr., Jodie Foster Stalker, Ronald Reagan Attempted Assassin
Upon Jodie Foster’s 1976 breakout role as a child prostitute in Taxi Driver, Hinckley watched the film in a continuous loop, developing a sick obsession with the 14-years-old actress. After becoming a successful actress, Foster enrolled at Yale University. Hinckley subsequently moved to New Haven, Connecticut, to be closer to Foster, slipping letters and poems under her door and contacting her constantly via telephone.
Foster ignored his attempts to contact her, so Hinckley took the next logical step: He would impress Foster by assassinating Ronald Reagan. Makes sense, right?
I don't understand why Foster didn't swoon for this guy.
After Foster came out gay in 2013, Hinckley released a statement, furious to discover what the rest of the world has known for years: "This information would've been useful a few decades earlier," he said, "If I had known I never had a chance with Jodie because I'm a man, I wouldn't have tried to assassinate the President to get her to like me." I'm sure everyone forgave Hinckley for trying to kill the President after that.
Crazy Racist Grim LeRogue Jumps A-Rod - But Only to Sell Books
It’s one thing to be a racist, another to be a trespasser. But to be a trespassing racist is a specialty that few can lay claim to. Grim LaRogue is one such person. In October, 2010, LeRogue (real name: John Rogan) was arrested after he ran onto the field at Yankee Stadium, making a bee-line toward Alex Rodriguez. He was carrying five pictures in his pockets: one was a picture of A-Rod with an X over his face, with “You have to go bud, you’ve ruined too many of our white queens” scrawled on it. Another photo was of Cameron Diaz, who was A-Rod’s girlfriend at the time. Plus the usual crude drawings of dead bodies.
A few days later, while in custody in a mental hospital, LeRogue claimed the entire thing was a prank designed to goose sales of his book about adults lying to children. Further, he had no animosity toward Rodriguez, and he did not “crave” Cameron Diaz. LeRogue’s book is, as of now, unpublished.
Mark David Chapman, John Lennon's Obsessive Murderer
Can you imagine this guy sweating profusely? I can't.
The world stopped spinning the day John Lennon died. The target of an obsessive and mentally unstable Mark David Chapman, Lennon – unlike most victims – had no preceding hints leading up to homicide, although the idea of killing Lennon had been simmering in mind months prior to the assassination.
In October 1980, Chapman arrived in New York, where Lennon was living, and his erratic behavior leading up to Lennon’s demise included offering cocaine to a taxi driver, manically professing to James Taylor how he needed to get in touch with Lennon while sweating profusely, and waiting for Lennon outside his hotel, where Chapman had gotten Lennon's autograph just a few hours before his death.
Chapman spent the day lurking around Lennon’s hotel, which wasn't unfamiliar behavior for die-hard Beatles and Lennon fans, and upon Lennon’s return from a recording session at Record Plant Studios that evening, Chapman fired five shots from behind, fatally wounding Lennon in the left lung.
Chapman now resides in Buffalo, NY at Attica Correctional Facilities, having been denied parole ever since his allowance to trial every two years since 2000, with Yoko Ono serving as the main force behind his detainment. In 2012, he told ABC news that had Lennon been a little less famous than the other three or four people on his hit list, Chapman wouldn't have shot him. Whew, well, that just makes us all feel better about the situation now, doesn't it?
Olympic Gymnast Shawn Johnson's Telepathic Psycho
The stalker of Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson, Robert O'Ryan, was arrested in March of 2009 after driving from Florida to California to stalk the gold-medal winning Dancing With the Stars contestant. When O'Ryan tried to break onto the set of the reality dance competition, he was arrested by police. Subsequently, they found a loaded shotgun, a loaded handgun, duct tape, and love letters, in his car.
Like many other stalkers, O'Ryan claimed to have a special mental connection to his victim. In this case, he told prosecutors that he could communicate telepathically with celebrities, and that Johnson was "speaking" to him in his while she was performing in the Beijing Olympics. O’Ryan waved his right to a jury trial, was found guilty by a judge of numerous felony charges and sentenced to a mental hospital.
Dawnette Knight, Catherine Zeta Jones' Arch Enemy Stalker
Dawnette Knight wanted to “cut Zeta-Jones into little pieces and feed her to the dogs.” If these aren’t words reason enough to be fearful for your life, then the fact that Knight memorized the name of Zeta-Jones and hubby Michael Douglas’s nanny and layout of their house is more than reason.
Catherine Zeta-Jones will cut you!
In 2003 and 2004, Knight sent letters to the famous couple that brought her obsession to light. Involving Barbara Walters as her devious partner in crime (obviously) in her plots to murder Zeta-Jones, a portion of Knight’s letter to the aging news anchor states, “When we finish with this bitch/whore, she will not be this pretty face actress. You won't be able to recognize her in her cassket! [sic]" She also made reference to Zeta-Jones, wanting to “slice her up like meat on a bone,” and claimed, “she will be dead before she'll be able to blink an eye. Michael can finally be happy with his kids when the bitch is dead." I'm sure Walters jumped right on board with that.
Oh, one tiny detail was left out. After all this went down, Knight later sent an apology to Zeta-Jones and Douglas, stating, "It would be a wonderful good deed if you would all forgive me so that I can go back to college to finish my studies in child psychology." Because she’s finally found her role in society: analyst and examiner of children’s mental health. We're all thrilled to hear that.
David Ajemian, Conan O'Brien's Devoted Stalker
Who wouldn't want a piece of that pure sex?
Even from a sane perspective, it’s nearly justifiable why one would attempt to force their way into America’s beloved redhead’s life. Everyone wants a slice of that pasty redhead, and for some, his late night talk show simply isn't enough to satisfy their Coco addiction.
David Ajemian, a Roman Catholic priest in Boston, took the active role of pursuit in stalking Conan, including following him around the world, forcing his way into show tapings, (disregarding the fact that one can sign up for free tickets online; sloppy stalking indeed!) and sending terrorizing messages he felt Conan would get a kick out of. Ajemian has managed to avoid jail time, but has voluntarily checked himself into several mental institutions, receiving psych evaluations along with medication to suppress his bi-polar disorders, among other complications.
Shortly after leaving his priestly practice, he was informed by his bishop he would no longer be able to pursue such a position and was arrested on harassment charges once again.
Protip for Catholic priests: Molesting boys: OK. Stalking celebrities: not OK.
Thomas Brodnicki claimed he had a conversation with God, and the Almighty told him in no uncertain terms that he had a destiny – to share his life with young actress and singer Selena Gomez. While charges were filed against Thomas by Selena in 2011, they were ultimately dismissed due to a lack of evidence. Brodnicki did, however, undergo psychiatric evaluations, and Gomez slapped him with a restraining order. As if to reinforce his crazy, Brodnicki had created a Twitter account where he proclaimed himself as “Vengeful Not Just Crazy =()” and had an avatar of a blood-spattered picture of Gomez, with virtually every tweet being a reference to killing her.
Brodnicki resurfaced in 2014 by violating his restraining order, sending Gomez an email reading, in part, "I love you more with each passing day.”
Lunatic Robert John Bardo began stalking actress Rebecca Schaeffer in 1986, after the previous object of his terror, child peace activist Samantha Smith, died in a plane crash. He went so far as to hire a detective agency to get him Schaeffer’s address, which he eventually obtained through the California Department of Motor Vehicles.
Three years into his stalking, Bardo went to her house to express his anger with Schaeffer over “losing her innocence” due to having a sex scene in the film Scenes From the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills. She signed an autograph for him and went back into her apartment, but Bardo lured her out by hanging around and pretending to be a messenger. Bardo pulled a gun from a brown paper bag fatally shot her after telling he was there to rescue her.
During his trial, Bardo claimed he was innocent, and that The Catcher in the Rye and a U2 song made him commit the murder. He was convicted and given life in prison. The US government, in reaction to Bardo using DMV records to get Schaeffer’s address, passed the Driver's Privacy Protection Act which prohibits state Departments of Motor Vehicles from disclosing the home addresses of state residents. Bardo himself was nearly killed in 2007 when he was stabbed 11 times by a homemade shank in prison.
George Harrison's Housemate/Knifer
She certainly doesn't photograph psycho...Being a Beatle is amazing, but also carries risk. One such risk is the predisposition to unwanted, mentally unstable fans, as George Harrison experienced after Christin Keleler crossed the boundaries between fan and psychotic killer.
In 1999, Keleher sought to prove her fixation with the former Beatle when she broke into George’s Maui residence and proceeded to make herself at home at the legendary rock star’s quarters, fixing herself up a nice supper of frozen pizza and root beer, doing laundry, and calling her mother before authorities arrived to arrest her on counts of breaking and entering and theft. Keleher served four months in prison before being released and making her way to settle down in California.
For Keleher, this time was most likely a slap on the hand for the ultimate Beatle's fan, as she presented herself with the opportunity to forage through his refrigerator and digest what he would have digested, used the very telephone his particles of spit were spewed on, and used his laundry machine that soaked away his very own sweat and filth! It sounds like a Willy Wonka-esque giveaway!
In 2006, Keleher was found victim to a fatal murder-suicide attack, ending her pursuits abruptly, like the hefty majority of celebrity stalkers.
The Lady Who Stalked Justin Timberlake, Axl Rose, and Metallica Stalker
Karen McNeil, 50-year-old apparent transient and incredibly persistent fan girl (can you still be a fan "girl" after 50?), has gone through a wide array of victims, including Axl Rose, Lars Ulrich of Metallica, and most recently, Justin Timberlake.
McNeil was a frequent uninvited visitor at Timberlake's home, but it wasn't until 2009 that she was found by housekeepers attempting to make her way onto the premises after taking a cab up to the residence and trying to bluff her way in. Police escorted her to a psychiatric evaluation, placing her on a 5150 hold, but upon not meeting the criteria of the category, she was released.
aving already served a year in prison prior to the Timberlake incident, McNeil was charged of violating a court order banning her from going near Axl Rose and his property. But not even the cold, iron bars can stop the most persistent stalker, and McNeil was sending Rose letters on a regular basis from prison. As for her relations with the members of Metallica, she was ordered to stay at least 150 ft. away from the band, their families, and their fan club workers.
What the rest of America wants to know is who is this woman, and how is it that she's been able to make men who sing about suicide, death, violence, and all sorts of darkness in the world cower in fear behind restraining orders?
William Lepeska, Scary Spice turned Anna Kournikova Stalker
NOT the fictional pill-popping doctor from New Jersey
William Lepeska, a 40-year-old homeless man, has admitted to not always being in love with Anna Kournikova, having previously fallen for Mel B., aka Scary Spice, for five whole years before going for his true love. As stated in his testimony, “I said the heck with her, moving on to greener pastures," and went from one muse to the next.
By the time he moved on to pop stars, Lepeska had perfected his craft in creeping people out and using nudity to attain his true love.
Lepeska swam nude across the Biscayne Bay to Kournikova’s Miami Beach waterfront home, but got arrested after he was found chilling in his nudie pants three houses down in a neighbor’s pool area, all while shouting out to Anna to save him upon his arrest. Attempts before the arrest include emails and letters to the tennis icon that suggested “several alarming statements” and indicated to officials that he believed Anna was expecting him at her residence upon his arrival. Which explains why he had to make the trek completely naked.
Aside from his past criminal history of stabbing a college student and indecent exposure to young children, Lepeska was immediately detained in a psychiatric unit on $250,000 bail and faces up to 30 years in prison if found guilty of two counts of battery of police officers, resisting arrest and burglary, misdemeanor charges of stalking, indecent exposure, and criminal mischief.
Kim Kardashian's Joker Faced Stalkerv
Shaun Bowman, a 27-year-old Georgia native, made the trek all the way out to Calabasas, California, Kim Kardashian's current place of residence, in order to pursue his delusional romantic relations with the reality TV starlet.
Bowman's initial form of contact took place via Twitter, where he professed his determined adoration for her, and subsequently tweeted Kardashian's boyfriend at the time, Reggie Bush, in a provoking manner. When his viral pursuits proffered no gain, he began showing up to Kardashian's events, dressed as Heath Ledger's infamous character, the Joker, for reasons unknown.
Why so scandalous?
Kim Kardashian had been granted a temporary restraining order against her "joker-face" stalker as of February 2010, and a revised restraining order forbids Bowman from any contact with Kardashian, enforcing him to stay at least 500 ft away from her, and even forbids attempts to contact her through Twitter until 2013, which the two mutually agreed upon through signed documentation.
Bowman has been keeping his profile relatively low since this incident, and has most recently shaved his head in an attempt to try out for a role in the Twilight Saga's Breaking Dawn.
Mark Zuckerberg's Stalker Just Wanted Some Advice
Stalkers aren’t just of the male-on-female variety. In 2011, Facebook creator and CEO Mark Zuckerberg slapped a restraining order against his own aggressive stalker, Pradeep Manukonda. According to Zuckerberg and court records, Manukonda had been following and threatening him, sending Zuckerberg both handwritten letters and Facebook messages requesting money and claiming “I am ready to die for you.” Manukonda also tried to physically contact Zuckerberg's sister and then-girlfriend, now-wife, and was seen loitering outside Facebook headquarters and stopped from Zuckerberg's home.
Manukonda later said he “felt bad” about what had happened, and that he only sought advice from the young billionaire on a personal problem. Perhaps that personal problem involved stalking people.
Uma Thurman's Murderous Stalker
Jack Jordan put a lot of work into his stalking of actress Uma Thurman – and the legal system put a lot of work into stopping him. Jordan was sentenced to three years’ probation after a 2008 stalking conviction, putting the capper on some truly aggressive creeping. He had tried to win Uma’s affection by sending her sexually suggestive cards and drawings - one of which was of an open grave with a man standing over it holding razor blade in his hand.
Jordan was later arrested and jailed in 2010 for violating his probation, and then again in 2011 when he refused to sign court papers and take anti-psychotic medication.
Athena M. Rolando, Brad Pitt's Doppelganger
Or maybe she just didn't give a sh*t
If anyone should be on the watch for a stalker, it's America's most revered hunk, Brad Pitt. Athena M. Rolando couldn't get enough of the sexy star and made it her own personal business to see what it was like to be Mr. Pitt, and took a walk in his shoes, literally.
In 2000, Rolando, an aspiring actress from Billings, Montana, was found in Pitt's house by a caretaker 10 hours after her intrusion dressed in the actor's blue hat, green sweatshirt, black tracksuit pants, and shoes, later explaining to police that she had been dressed in such a manner because she was "cold," but she probably meant that she wanted to see what it was like to be a stone cold fox of an actor and to do it just to say she did it.
Police found Rolando carrying a book on witchcraft, a note to Brad, and a large safety pin decorated with ribbons she claimed to be a doll. Not suspicious at all.
For proof that stalking is nothing to be taken lightly, look no further than the tragic murder of singer Selena. In 1992, after nurse Yolanda Saldivar aggressively pestered Selena’s father for permission to assemble a fan club for her. But in March of 1995, Selena’s family learned Saldivar was embezzling money from the organization and fired her. Hoping to work things out with a devoted fan, Selena agreed to meet with Saldivar at a Days Inn in Corpus Christi, to discuss the club’s financial records.
What followed was a bizarre series of events that saw Saldívar refusing to turn the records over – and claiming she had been raped in Mexico. Selena drove Saldívar to a local hospital, where doctors found no evidence of rape. They then went back to the motel, where Selena again demanded the financial papers. At this point, Saldívar pulled a gun and as Selena tried to flee, Saldívar shot her in her right shoulder, severing an artery. Now critically wounded, Selena ran towards the lobby for help, with Saldívar chasing her and calling her a "bitch.” The singer died a few hours later.
Saldivar claimed the shooting was self-defense, but a jury disagreed and found her guilty of murder. She’s currently serving life in prison.
Matthew Hooker, had big plans for his life, including sweeping Nicole Kidman off her feet, as well as running for President of the United States. Reality intervened, however, as Kidman filed charges against Hooker, who had been stalking her, incessantly calling her house and writing her love poems. Kidman said in a statement she feared for her security and safety, and Hooker was ordered to stay 250 yards away from her. Hooker shot back by telling the press the restraining order was Kidman’s attempt to deny the fact they had flirted when they first met, and to put the kibosh on his aspirations for the White House. Hooker also described himself as a “handsome, cultured and civilized” man and played a song he'd written about Nicole Kidman stalking him.
Hooker did indeed run for President in 2004, getting a total of zero votes, and in 2007, he was sent to prison for smashing a glass into the face of a woman who refused his advances.