Top 13 Stories of Kids Traumatized by Santa

There is no Santa Claus in Santa Caterina, Brazil, after a 2009 holiday display suddenly burst into flames, moments after its unveiling. Parents and children fled in horror as the spirit of Christmas incinerated before their very eyes. Aside from negligence, there is no known reason for why Father Christmas caught on fire. Perhaps he was trying out to be the next drummer of Spinal Tap?

Click here for more pictures, you sick bastard.

1994 in Florida, while doing his annual Christmas Eve duty of listening to every kid in the Kissimee area tell him what they hope to see under their trees the next morning, Santa caught a 15-year-old flipping him the bird. Enraged from the stress of making lists and checking them twice and the temptation of sweet milk and cookies, Santa Claus left his chair and ran after the boy. Upon catching him, it was reported that Santa choked the teenager until he literally began to turn purple.

The reason why the kid disrespected Santa in the first place? He never got any good presents as a kid. Looks like that isn't going to change any, as he no doubt was put on the perpetual Naughty Hit List.

8

Dead Santa

So after coming home from a party of some sorts, this man dressed up as Santa pulls over and stumbles into someone's backyard. The kids that were playing there immediately had suspicions this guy was a fake, probably because he didn't come through the chimney and, more importantly, he was walking around the yard shouting loudly at them about having lost his reindeer. No joke. Well, at least no intentional joke.

He tried to be all jovial and Santa-like a bit later when he walked up to one of the kids and tried to put his hat on her head, but since he was a drunk middle-aged man, it didn't come across so much "Santa-like" as "creepy," so the watching mom called the cops.

Luckily there was no damage done to Santa's reputation that day in the eyes of the kids. They immediately figured out this Santa was an impostor because according to them, "he smelled like alcohol."

The jury's still out on what exactly the fact that they know what that smells like, and that that means "bad", says about their childhood.
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Santa rides a motorcycle in this one and there is a stuffed Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer in the sidecar. Awesome duo.

So awesome it attracted the attention of a girl when Santa pulled over at a gas station. Asking her if she wanted to see the Rudolph, Santa then hoisted the girl up, put her in the sidecar, and drove off with, all of this happening with her parents watching.

When the father caught up with Santa after speeding like hell to get to her, Santa prompt apologized and turned the girl over. His excuse was that he was caught up in Santa mode and that the Santa in him had taken over for a moment. The family forgave him.

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