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- 1Imogen Thomas is a Goddess who shoots light out of her vagina (pronounced "va-HEE-nah" in Spanish) -- much like I hypothesized throughout my entire childhood.
This is the first thing you should look for in a wife.
She makes the list because she is flawless and knows how to hold her stuff up better than even the most expensive, on-sale bra anyone could ever buy on a whim.
Natasha BelleNatasha Belle has her own website named after her. She's one of those girls that probably has endless videos of her playing volleyball on her site. She probably also has endless videos of her lying around, reading through her texts for a monthly fee of $30 for really lonely dudes who can afford it and message her constantly asking for a video where she's playing a god damn video game but she doesn't answer for 6 months even though you've messaged her literally 30 times and now all the emails are bouncing back.
She belongs on this list because hotness.
Hailey from Hailey's HideawayShe's got that insanely adorable girl-next-door look that makes her one of the top choices for amazingly, disarmingly and just inappropriately hot girls on this list.
This is the bar, you guys.
Her gallery also features a lot more nudity (thanks to the see-thru rules which governs not only the internet, but magazine stands and therefore THE WORLD) than most Spank Banks.
She's really got everything going for her. I hope she runs for President.
This is what she looks like in clothes that she doesn't wear in public.
Kaya DanielleKaya Danielle is a great actress (for a non-actress that takes her clothes off for glorious, bikini-buying money).
She actually pulls off that look that you try and get out of most girls who have hot pictures taken of themselves for a living: terrified that you, the viewer, is even in the room.
She makes the list because she has a genuinely pretty face, and a highly photoshopped body which shows that she's not one of these fake-boobed girls where everything is plastic. She's a REAL woman. She should be in Dove commercials (I'm sorry, I don't really mean that Kaya, you're not fat).
Laura VinicombeThe greatest part about Laura Vincombe isn't the fact that she very frequently only shows one eye like that one Captain Planet "eco-villain" Dr. Blight, but that it looks like she's just some random college girl with fake boobs who happens to have met a lot of amateur "photographers" at parties willing to take pictures of her in various stages of undress (A.K.A. any single dude with a camera they feel guilty about spending too much money on). This is the only way that non-professional pictures of girls this hot are ever taken.
The way that she's hot and deserves to be on this list is really more mental than anything else. She wages psychological warfare on your man-peepee-parts, much like Dr. Blight from Captain Planet waged ecological warfare on Mother Gaia, Captain Planet, The Planeteers and the earth itself.
Yulia from Yulia's SecretYou know those girls that have a name that's very close to an American name, but they spell it slightly differently to seem more sophisticated? Well, Yulia's foreign enough so that her parents actually gave her this polarizing, confusing name that probably made her substitute teachers very nervous about getting made fun of. She's a weirdly-spelled almost-name O.G., I guess you could say (although you really, as a man or porn-seeking-lesbian, should never say that).
Yulia has that perfect "kind of uncomfortable so maybe the photographer had his penis out during the session" look on her face that makes all hand bras that much more defensive and therefore amazing (I promise all of you that I'm seeing a therapist).
Her hair and body also rule.
April CheryseApril Cheryse has two first names and two solid boobs. She's also not a natural blonde and enjoys pretending she's a powerless Spider-Man in photoshoots.
She also looks showing some top-butt in her photos, which makes her a saint in my book. This is why I'm not The Pope (yet).
Brittany HawkesBrittany Hawkes looks like her parents make a lot of money, which is intrinsically attractive to me because that seems like a great quality in a wife. The following is a gallery of her showing.
If there were a channel that cost just as much as HBO, but it would show her showering for 24 hours a day, I would watch it. Even after the 3rd season where he skin gets so prune-y that it starts to look like that horrible, acid-induced, Golden Girls fantasy you had at school in 11th grade am i right, fellas? This is relatable to everyone.