Top 42 Woody Allen Quotes on Ranker Quotations
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Top 42 Woody Allen Quotes on Ranker By   [12 more lists]

These are the quotes Ranker has in their system for Woody Allen, one of the most brilliant comedic minds of our time.

 
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  1. 1
    I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. Top 42 Woody Allen Quotes on Ranker People picture

    I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

    Woody Allen
    Death and Dying
    “ This is amazing. „
  2. 2
    I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. Top 42 Woody Allen Quotes on Ranker People picture

    I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

    Woody Allen
    Metaphysics
    “ This is really a classic joke of his and one of my favorite things I've ever heard. „
  3. 3
    Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one consider that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies. Top 42 Woody Allen Quotes on Ranker People picture

    Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one consider that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.

    Woody Allen
    Crime and Criminals (In General)
  4. 4

    If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

    Woody Allen
    His Films
  5. 5

    On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.

    Woody Allen
    Death and Dying
  7. 6

    I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

    Woody Allen
    Death and Dying
  8. 7

    Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

    Woody Allen
    Money
  9. 8

    80% of success is showing up

    Woody Allen
  10. 9

    I am at two with nature.

    Woody Allen
    Nature
  11. 10

    It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.

    Woody Allen
    Possibilities
  12. 11

    Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.

    Woody Allen
    Punishment
  13. 12

    Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

    Woody Allen
    Reason
  14. 13

    My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.

    Woody Allen
    Regret
  15. 14
    A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark. Top 42 Woody Allen Quotes on Ranker People picture

    A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.

    Woody Allen
    Interpersonal relationship
  16. 15

    If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.

    Woody Allen
    Risk
  18. 16

    Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who can never remember where they left things.

    Woody Allen
    Science and Scientists
  19. 17

    Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

    Woody Allen
    Sex
  20. 18

    A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.

    Woody Allen
    Sex
  21. 19

    If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

    Woody Allen
    Skepticism
  22. 20

    Eighty percent of success is showing up.

    Woody Allen
    Success
  23. 21

    Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.

    Woody Allen
    Body
  24. 22

    I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.

    Woody Allen
    Club
  25. 23

    Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.

    Woody Allen
    Comedy and Comedians
  26. 24

    I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

    Woody Allen
    Comedy and Comedians
  27. 25

    Does art imitate life, or does life imitate TV?

    Woody Allen

Showing items 1 - 25 of 42

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