Top 5 Children's Movies Too Scary for Children

I wholeheartedly agree ...

Instead of condemning everything offhand that you find "disturbing" in an effort to keep your children sealed in an isolated bubble until they have no chance at functioning normally in later life, how about growing a set, sit down and watch a movie with your children and explain to them it's just a movie and it's not real. It's called "parenting", something which is sorely missing in this age of "blame everyone else because I can't be bothered to raise my own child".

Yes yes and yes. Return to Oz is TERRIFYING. Also...I don't know if this was for kids or not, but does the Garbage Pail Kids movie count? That crap was terrifying.

I have some fond memories of movies I watched as a kid: An American Tail, The Fox and the Hound, The Land Before Time. (Now you know I'm a child of the 80's). You've got cute characters and sweet friendships being forged among them. What's not to love? Sure, things get scary when Sharptooth is ravenously pursuing Little Foot and his friends, and he sticks his gigantic nostrils in their face. But in the end they prevail and everyone is happy in the Great Valley. The following movies, however, are not cute; they're just scary and bizarre. 5. Never Ending Story- Not even the dreamy synthesizers of the title song, performed by Kajagoogoo and Limahl, could soften the horror of this flick. I'm not sure what used to freak me out more--the nasty-looking wolf with the glowing green eyes or those two sphinxes who try to kill Atreyu. All I know is that I was glad that the story wasn't really never-ending. 4. The Carebears Movie- How friends as harmless and lovable as the Care Bears could end up on this list is baffling. Maybe the producers thought that by pitting Funshine Bear and friends against a demon in a book, they could underscore the power of The Carebear Stare. But it was a demon in a book! Not only is that nightmare-inducing, but can you imagine how many kids were afraid to open books after they saw that movie? Can you blame them? 3. The Labyrinth- Sometimes it's fun when humans and puppets come together; it's magical even. But, I suppose it all depends on who the humans are, and what the puppets look like. You put Alicia Keys and Elmo together, kids and adults can both enjoy without trepidation. You put David Bowie in revealing spandex pants, alongside a character who looks like someone put Tommy Lee Jones in the microwave, there is some serious impropriety going on. It doesn't stop there, though. I had dolls on my bed, and that movie caused me to never want to turn my back on them, for fear that they might start talking to me about never leaving me, and then the next thing you know they're all dancing in my room while the giant owl watches us from outside my window. No thanks. 2. The Dark Crystal- This movie will always be scary. But, you want to know what the most frightening thing about this movie is? No, it's not the haunting soundtrack. No, it's not the disgusting Skeksis, tearing the heads off of rats with their razor-sharp beaks. It's not even Aughra, pulling out her eyeball and waving it around. Simply put, the good guys are just as grotesque as the bad guys. Maybe those tall, skinny grasshopper-horse things could save my life, but I'd be too busy peeing my pants looking at them to even think about mounting up and riding to safety. 1. Return to Oz- What the heck?! I remember going with my mom and sister to see this movie thinking, "The Wizard of Oz was a fun and light-hearted romp. Who wouldn't want a return to that?" Answer: me. Forget "The Ring," "The Grudge," "Friday the 13th." Jason Voorhees himself would run screaming like an effeminate male librarian from a cockroach if he saw Princess Mombi lurching around without a head. He would then proceed to curl himself into the fetal position and cry when he turns to see Mombi's entire collection of heads, all of them calling his name and gnashing their teeth at him. That's not a return to Oz; that's an introduction to a movie my kids won't see at least until they're old enough to know how to dial 911. (That would be for me, when I faint from fear).