L The List
Radiations are good for you!hell, I dare any environmentalist to make a point against this one. Look through the origins of most superheroes (A Marvel Universe handbook may come handy), forget about all the new "genetically engineered" bulls**t and you will see that behind most great Marvel heroes lies the power of the atom!
I mean, do I have to make a list? Spidey, Hulk, Daredevil, Power Man (better known as afro dude!), Wonder Man... And what about the bad guys?
Radioactive man, Rhino, Abomination... And after all, aren't Cosmic Rays just another kind of radiation? So the Fantastic Four themselves are born of radiations! And radioactivity had a vital role in the Super Soldier treatment!
I think you get the point: working in a power plant is the coolest job in the world, thanks to the side effects! So, let us just hope for a new atomic disaster and just go and bask in the contaminated landscape. I, for one, am more than ready.
Unstable molecules!Where do I start with this one? Reed Richards is a brilliant man allright. Not the most practical one maybe, as taking your girlfriend and her teenage brick (brother/dick) for a field trip to the stars on an unshielded rocket hardly seems like a good idea. But I have to admit that he handled the whole "we turned into a family of cosmic rays freaks" thing quite well... The idea of starting a superhero franchise is great by itself. But coming up with unstable molecules? That is pure genius! They are the good answer to any fan question. "Why doesn't Johnny Storm's costume burn when he flames on?" "Unstable molecules" "Why does Mr Fantastic's costume stretch when he does?" "Unstable molecules"... hell, I could go on forever... The point is... Well, let the oracle speak for me. As quoted from Wikipedia "Unstable molecules are a piece of fictional technology featured in Marvel Comics. They exist as a configuration of unknown atomic nuclei and electrons that are responsive to certain energized matter around them.". 'Nuff said... Thank you Wikipedia. And, most of all, thank you Mr. Stan Lee!
Put grampa in the freezer!Let's start with a scientific experiment.Take your guinea pig Melvin and put it in the freezer. Don't worry about him rasping against the door, it will cease soon enough... Leave him there for three or four years. When the date you chose to revive him expires take him out of the freezer and let it thaw. And... (rolling drums) Mhmm... Is it dead? That didn't happen with Cap and countless others! Sorry, that must mean you live in the world of Einstein, not in Stan Lee's... Marvel universe - Reality 3 - 0!
P.S. On a side note I love how people never stay dead in the Marvel Universe... If polar waters are nowhere around when you die, be sure a bunch of ninjas with reviving techniques will be there in no time to turn you in an unstoppable killing machine. I mean... Ninjas. And zombie ninjas. I rest my case.
Time travelling? No problem!The picture on your left is so awesome I could stop writing right here. Ben Grimm as Captain Blackbeard? Yes please, this is a good enough reason for time traveling by itself. But Marvel has its way to make good things great... Are you worried about the aftermath of time travelling? Anguished by all the bulls**t scientists and Hollywood writers have told you about the consequences of meddling with space/time continuity? Not in the Marvel universe, brother! Any damage done by the time tourist will develope in an alternative reality, an infinite amount of "reality gone awry" pouches where you can stuff all your screw ups...
And it's not over yet, for this can go the other way around too... Are you a fan of Hendrix or Hitler? (just going with the Hs here...) Hell: just go back in time, change things and reappear in the "alternate reality drawer" 13/b! Celebrate, for this is now your official reality! And those grey times when Jimi never made an album with Miles or drawing Swastikas on walls could lead you to jail? Let the alternate you be the miserable one!
Mutations are coolI'll be completely honest here... My first idea was to put a picture of Wolverine next to a child from Chernobyl... I then thought that, after all, it would have been pretty tasteless and so I settled for Wolvie as drawn by Rob Liefeld, which seems like a pretty good compromise.
The lesson is that if you are the parent of a mutant child, well, don't be expecting a kid with brain cancer anytime soon, look for laser beams flashing out of his eyes or angel wings sprouting out of his back! And if he heals real fast... prepare to cash in! But, wait, there's a drawback too... Whereas real life mutants are helped by the state and offered wide amounts of sympathy and solidarity (albeit veined by disgust and loath), your average Marvel mutant kid will be hunted down by giant robots... So, well...