Republican Caught Having Sex w/ Toys, 18-Year Old Stripperv
In what is by far the most famous story on this list, Roland Corning, one of the top lieutenants for the Attorney General's office in South Carolina was caught having sex with an 18 year old stripper in a cemetery.
Apparently he had a huge case of "The Mondays", as he committed the act at around 3PM on a Monday afternoon in 2009.
The way he was caught was, get this, by speeding off when officers approached his car (he was eventually pulled over). When he was pulled over he was caught with the extremely young-looking 18-year old stripper in his car along with sex toys (from vibrators to d***os) and some Viagra in his position, just in case...
... Which brings us to the most impressive part of this entire story: Roland was 65-years old at the time. The fact that he has that kind of sex drive at that age is not only commendable, but damn-near impossible and even if he was paying a teenage stripper for sex during his lunchbreak at his age, for that, we all salute him. Just because you're a senior doesn't mean you're dead.
Either way, the man was forced to resign and ended up apologizing, but who wouldn't cave under the pressure to admit to your actions in such a grave circumstance.
Check out the embedded video for the full news report.
Twins Caught Digging Up Grave to Double Team Corpse Seen on News
Do you ever see someone on TV and just wish that you could be with them, talk to them or sometimes even more?
Well, twin brothers Nicholas and Alexander Grunke did too at some point, only instead of a cute starlet like Alison Brie , they decided to set their sights on someone a little less well-known: a girl named Laura Tennessen. Laura Tennessen was a 20-year old from Cassville, Wisconsin who was killed Aug. 27 in a motorcycle crash and buried at the St. Charles Catholic Cemetery in Cassville.
So when did the boys fall in love with her? When they stumbled upon her picture in an obituary. After they spent a while digging up her body for the sole purpose of having sex with it, someone reported the suspicious activity and they were caught, when they admitted to exactly what they were doing (proving once and for all that the online dating industry is too expensive for your every day American... and that they're absolutely insane).
Click here for the full story.
Two Men in Dubai Say Hello to Each Other
Have you ever run into an ex of yours where if you guys ever had a Facebook status to explain how your relationship ended, the status would read "It's Complicated"?
In early 2010, two homosexual Pakistani men in Dubai ran into each other near a cemetery and, instead of getting into a car and driving into a nearby residential neighborhood's cul de sac in the middle of the night like civilized folk, they decided to hop the fence to the nearest cemetery to catch up on old times.
Unfortunately for them (and this man's vision), a local graveyard worker who happened to be looking out over the field caught them and told authorities. Both men were then arrested and, as of March 2010, the Dubai Court of First Instance was keeping them for violating the sanctity of the graves.
Click here for the full story
Naked 64-Year Old Man Caught Masturbating on Graves
In early 2010, in a New York cemetery, Frederick Zornow, a 64-year old man with the sex drive of a 17-year old (and obviously, the intelligence of one), was caught masturbating on top of a hill in broad daylight. After he was spotted, obviously, police were called to take care of the situation.
When police arrived, they found Zornow completely naked, filming himself with a tripod mounted camera while he flogged his Jolly Roger (which 100% counts as a kind of sex, at least for most people who read this).
The naked almost-senior-citizen (who we can all only hope to have the virility of) told the cops that he thought he couldn’t be seen by anyone at the remote location where he was standing, which I guess was supposed to make everything okay somehow(?)
He was later charged with public lewdness (misdemeanor) and was released shortly afterwards.
$2 Prostitute Caught with a Few Truckers, Husband
In Romania, prostitutes using graveyards as breeding grounds (no pun intended) for sexual deviance and activity have become so commonplace that police raid cemeteries on a regular basis and often find cases as ridiculous as this one.
It used to be that you could go to a swanky brothel, hotel or other classy place to pay someone you don't know (who has literally 100s of guys under her belt -- pun intended), but in this day and age, dudes looking for some paid love (in this part of Romania) simply pull their truck off the main road, walk through a cemetery and meet prostitutes for quickies along the tombstones.
One Romanian call-girl who was caught "working the graveyard shift" was particularly remarkable because her pimp was, wait for it, her HUSBAND. Apparently her husband was falling so deep into his alcoholism that he needed to sell her body in order to maintain his addiction by selling her for what equates to about $2 a pop.
How were they caught, you ask? Well, more than a few members of the local trucking community were being "entertained" by the lady when police officials arrived. They found Ionel Tutuianu, 32, hiding (drunk, of course) behind a grave stone and completely out of his mind.
When questioned by the press, the only problem the prostitute had with this whole situation was that she wasn't charging enough money.
Click here for the full story
Prostitute Caught Giving Oral Sex... Is Acquitted
Alright, so this is kind of a hero story for a girl who is really just trying to make a living (doing something terribly illegal and dangerous, but still, hey...)
A young prostitute in Scotland was desperate for a place to make her latest John happy, so they went to the nearest cemetery to "get the job done." After they were caught by local police (as someone saw them going into the grounds and looking somewhat unsavory), the woman and man were arrested for public indecency.
In a stroke of luck, though, the woman (who, once again, was just doing her "job") was acquitted of all charges after appealing to the High Court of Appeal in Edinburgh.
The greatest part about Scotland is that some public officials/judges still have names like Lord Bonomy. The greatest part about this whole thing? That he sided with the prostitute. Why? Because his reasoning basically went "hey, she wasn't TRYING to get caught, they thought they were somewhere secluded." This logic applies to prostitution, apparently, and she got off (the apologies for the puns will start after this one) Scott free.
Here's the quote from the man who relieved her of the charges:
Lord Bonomy: "In the present case we can say that by selecting the locus that they did it is clear that the appellant and her co-accused did not intend that their activity should be observed by members of the public.
"However it does not follow automatically from the fact that they were discovered by two police officers that the appellant was reckless as to whether they might be observed by members of the public.
"We have reached the conclusion that it is not possible to determine from the findings in fact or from the narrative of the evidence…what the likelihood of discovery was and what attitude the appellant herself had taken to any risk of discovery."
Click here for the full story
Satanist Uses MySpace to Lure Teen Girls into Graveyard Sex
Giving a bad name to Satanists everywhere, Daniel William Peckham, 24, lured at least three girls, aged from 13 to 17 (aka most likely illegal), into the Sydney Rockwood Cemetery for sex on his MySpace blog, "Rookwood Gothic Society". This comes as no surprise because anyone who reads a stranger's Gothic sex blog on MySpace, of all places, obviously has no concept of "common sense.
How did he do this? Oh, well, by writing extremely charming sentences on his blog like:
- "If you have hang-ups about getting naked ... you are not welcome."
- "I like schoolgirls, they excite me,"
- "I'm going to turn Sydney into a big underage gang bang."
Even after pleading guilty to aggravated sexual assault on a minor, he continued to write letters to the girls from prison, which makes him the creepiest person on this entire list (for the most part, at least...)