Top Baby Products For Bad Parents

I am a mother to a child that was born deaf. Once my child started walking I tried to let her walk on her own in the stores. The problem with this was when she would get distracted by a toy or something else and would walk away, i could not just call her back to me. If she can't hear and her back is to me then I have no way to get her attention without running after her. I attempted to keep her in the basket seat but that led to whining and frustration that she could not get out and walk on her own. Her therapist actually brought me one of those monkey backpacks that a leash could attach as a tail I bought a much longer leash to use with it to give her some freedom and even left the harness part of the backpack undone so she would not have to wear it if she did not want to, although she loved it since it was a monkey. When she would start wandering too far away I would just give a gentle tug and she would come back to me. And in airports or extremely crowded places it was much easier to make sure she was right next to me at all times.

The leash can be very useful if you are in a situation such as mine was or if you have an autistic child. People may look as this as something foolish but in all fairness, it's better to keep the child safe than to let something happen to it just because you are worried about a negative side effect. If having something like that is the thing that will ruin their lives then you are poorly preparing them for real life anyways as there are much worse things that children have to learn to deal with. Call me cruel, but my daughter was pretty much guaranteed safe because of this leash.

it actually does shoot the whole thing at you; a washcloth is cheaper and works better.

It's not a total waste. It was cool to know what was going on with my baby and how she was growing inside week to week. And there was some useful information especially since my mother doesn't remember a whole lot about being pregnant since she was last 14 years before I was. But I didn't buy the book. It was handed down from my aunt. If it wasn't I probably wouldn't have gotten one. But if you've got the money to burn and time to read go for it. Or maybe just see if the library has it.

I'm not a big fan of other people's kids (except my friend's kids) and personally am all for a law that would require parents to keep their kids on these when in public, at least until the age of 10. That way they'd be forced to keep an eye on them when out and about, instead of letting them run around squealing like loud little germ laden terrorists at the airport, store, post office, you name it.
If people still felt like putting real effort into raising their kids or teaching them manners it wouldn't be needed, but those days seem to be long gone, and so I am generally happy whenever I see a kid on one of these.

I knew a mother who used it. There should be parenting classes for some people... Or contraception.

it comes in a bag that twists so you dont have to smell the s**tty baby diapers

I read this when I was pregnant back in 1992. Can't believe she is still updating this book. Most of it is common sense.

So you're supposed to try to pee AND keep your toddler from playing with the c**p on the floor of the bathroom at the same time?

Its for when you have to take a s**t so your kid ain't running around the bathroom and opening the stall door while your incapacitated. Have a kid you'll know what im talking about.

:)