Top Baby Products For Bad Parents Anything
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Top Baby Products For Bad Parents

Dear Parents doing your newborn products shopping: baby products are mostly evil, stupid and unnecessary. Out of all baby products these are the stupidest. Ever. We know that you are excited that your new little Missy of Jr is coming, but please stay away from these products and save your money for what you're going to need it for...a Divorce. Kidding!

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    Breastfeeding Bra

    No, No, No, NO, NO! Just stop! Stop this right now! If your kid grows up and you tell them that their dad had to put on fake boobs to breastfeed them, trust me, they will never speak to you again, their significant other will break up with them and their friends will erase them from their phones.
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    Diaper Genie

    This is just a trash can with a cute name and a cute baby on the box. Like many baby products, it does not work for anything else and costs way too much for what it is. Also, it will not grant you any wishes at all.
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    Bumper Bonnet

    This very thick, uncomfortable looking diaper is referred to as 'The Bumper Bonnet'. So in other words it's a helmet with bears on it that doesn't work as well as other helmets.
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    Weeblock

    This thing does exactly what it says it does. You put it over your baby boy's penis to keep him from pissing on your face. For $12.95 I rather put a dixie cup over it. Also, who's to say that the geyser effect won't have you hit in the face with the Weeblock AND have pee all over your shirt?
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    Baby Bangs!

    Definitely the creepiest product on this list. Their slogan actually says, 'For the girl who has everything - but hair'. Why does your baby need hair at the age of two months? If you ask me this product is for the parents. If God wants your baby bald for the first year of their life then let them be bald, damn it. What if they have thinning, s**tty hair for the rest of their lives? People will look at old pictures and think that your child hit their hair-peak at the toddler stage.

    http://www.babybangshairband.com/
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    The Baby Wipe Thermo

    I tried to reason with this product until I came to the conclusion that all it was doing was making crap and piss warm for you.
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