Top Five Celebrity Apologies By Alex Sargeant  [19 more lists]

“I’m sorry I’m the best at being a giant tool… and a douche… and mediocre. My momma raised me to be the best and I’m sorry I’m the best at making an ass of myself and at abusing what little power I believe I have. You have to understand that I grew up being that best at being poor and I’ve struggled with that my whole life. This apology is the best!”

“I’m sorry I threw my clipboard at the game… and the chair. I’m sorry I threw my clipboard and my chair at the game… and my copy of the Magna Carta. I’m sorry for throwing my clipboard, chair, copy of the Magna Carta, that box of live ammo, this sofa, the mascot, and the entire cheerleading team.”

“I didn’t mean to break up The Beatles. It’s just that John has so much to offer, and he’s his own man. He speaks for himself and… hold on… John honey, who are you talking to? What do you mean no one, you have the telephone to your ear. John, who are you talking to? Ringo? Hang up. Hang up right now. Thank you honey. As I was saying, John is his own man…”

“Er… uh… sorry Sugertits.”

“What are these? What am I looking at? Can someone get over here and tell me what the h**l these are?”
“They’re words. It’s your apology statement.”
“I don’t know what either of those are! Do I look like I speak Spanish? You’re fired! I need another Redbull and Vodka! Oh hey, Kanye West, what are you doing at my apology?”
“Yo Spencer, I know you just started and Imma let you finish, but Beyonce’s apology was the best one this year!”