ZombiesWhen I hear someone reference zombies now, it’s usually in the tone of, "I’d totally be ready for a Zombie attack." The honest truth? No, you wouldn’t. You’re a p***y. You’d die just as fast as the rest of us.
Also, it’s not going to happen! You talking about the zombie apocalypse is starting to sound like an evangelical talking about the rapture and you do not want to be that!
Unless you’re George Romero, Robert Kirkman or The Cranberries, I don’t want to hear you talking about zombies.
VampiresThe recent influx of vampire... everything, has made me want to explode my own brain! If I want to see pasty white people complain about how they don’t fit in with the rest of the world and how tough they have it, I’ll go to Hot Topic.
The C.W. has a Vampire show! THE C.W.! If the C.W. thinks it’s cool, you should not. Simple as that.
NinjasNinjas and zombies are the two things I didn’t want to put on the list. They both have cool merits, but those cool merits have been played out.
Ninjas are everywhere and they're funny/cool almost nowhere.
There are plenty of badass things we ninja and zombie lovers can reference to death. Let’s get on that!
SpartansThis is the Swine Flu of frat and bro parties across the country. Dudes with muscles and daddy issues think they’re the first to dress up as Leonidas from 300. Somehow, they’re able to bend reality so much that not only do they think we’ll all forget that it’s the same costume they’ve worn for the past three years, but they also think that the other seven Leonidas’ are the other characters in the movie.
Side note: Your girlfriend will dress as a s**tty anything, so the excuse of "I get to see my girlfriend as a Sexy Spartan" is moot. You could get your girlfriend to dress up as a Sexy Tesla and she wouldn’t care, but then you’d have to be a shirtless Mark Twain and we all know how a Dude-Bro feels about wearing a beard.
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