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Interviews Religious Scholar With a PhD, Asks Why a Muslim Wrote a Book About JesusvIf you tune into the Fox News program "Spirited Debate" for spirited debate, then you're probably often disappointed. You were especially disappointed when host Lauren Green had a "debate" with religious scholar Rezna Aslan, the writer of the book “Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth," who was introduced not as an expert with a PhD in the history of religions, but simply as a Muslim.
As the interview falls deeper and deeper into a schadenfreude dreamscape, it becomes more and more apparent that host Green has done no research on Aslan, and she has definitely not read his book. Behind her eyes, you can see her scrambling for additional ways to ask the same question over and over again. We're all lucky that she never got to her final question, "So Mr. Aslan, how can someone named after the lion in those Narnia books--the lion based on Jesus--write a book about Jesus?"
Fox News Upgrades Its Newsroom With Giant Tablet ComputersvWELCOME TO THE FUTURE! We're Fox News, we're fair and balanced, forget those other news networks, they're probably still using typewriters or computers or checking their sources or other old news stuff. WE'RE FOX NEWS! WE'RE THE FUTURE! Check out these giant tablet computers! They can each display up to one whole tweet at a time! All of our reporters look like tiny hobbit people next to these amazing news tablets!
Imagine Candy Crush on this thing! What's that? You don't have to imagine it because we already actually had a news story on the addictiveness of Candy Crush which we demonstrated on one of our giant tablets?
You're sure that's not a photoshopped image? That's a real news story we did on Candy Crush? Are we letting our Aunt Mildred write the news now? We are? Well, I mean, maybe that's the future! Tablets that only Shaq can comfortably use! Candy Crush! Aunt Mildred! Fox News!
Fox News Host Geraldo Rivera Tweets Topless SelfiesOkay, so this didn't actually happen on air, but in July, Fox News host Geraldo Rivera thought it was a good idea to take off his shirt (or maybe his shirt was already off?) snap a photo, and tweet it out to his nearly 50,000 followers. Unfortunately, tweets can be retweeted, and news stories can be written about tweets, and so by the end of the day we all had to see this photographic evidence of Geraldo's mid-life (three-quarters life?) crisis.
It's looks like a mummy got really into P90x.
Fox News Host Brian Kilmeade Throws Basketball at Toddler's Face, Makes Him CryvWhen you have a talented toddler who has taken the Internet by storm with a viral video of amazing(ly cute) free throws, you bring him onto your morning show and that's morning show gold. Unless, of course, your morning show host takes the kid's basketball and throws the ball at his face, making him cry. Then, well, you might have a different sort of viral video on your hands.
That's exactly what happened on Fox News.
If you'd like to wash the taste of that out of your eyeballs (when did your eyeballs start tasting?), watch young Titus' original viral video:
Megyn Kelly Accidentally Raps a Dr Dre SongvAfter the Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's identity was made public, news organizations scrambled to find meaning in every piece of his social media presence. Some of that information helped grow our understanding of who this man was who had a hand in this terrible act. It also led to the accidental--and hilarious--reading of Dr Dre/Eminem lyrics by Fox News host Megyn Kelly.
Maybe it's time for a slightly racist late-night show on Fox News called "Fox & Homies" and it's just Fox News hosts being fed rap lyrics as breaking news stories? Sounds better than Leno to me.
Tucker Carlson Falls Asleep On Fox and FriendsvOn August 31st, Tucker Carlson fell asleep during a commercial break on the Fox News morning program Fox & Friends. When they came back from commercial and the other hosts had to wake him, he kept asking, "Am I really on TV?"
It's okay Tucker. We often fall asleep while watching the inane discussion on Fox News. We also often question if Fox News is really TV.
Fox News Plays Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like a Lady" Over Photograph of Chelsea ManningvWhen Chelsea Manning was originally in the news for leaking classified documents to Wikileaks, she was known as Bradley Manning. When that story's focus became about her gender transition, the press had a fine line to walk to not offend. Fox News has never heard of a fine line.
In the above clip, they tease an upcoming story about Chelsea Manning, while playing Aerosmith's "Dude Look Like a Lady" in the background. It would appear as if everyone behind the scenes at Fox News has seen "Mrs. Doubtfire and are huge fans.
Laura Ingraham Calls Plan B Policy "Good Deal for Pedophiles"vIn this clip from Fox and Friends, Laura Ingraham weighs in on the Obama Administration's policy change to remove the age restriction on the morning after contraceptive Plan B. She says:
"It’s a good deal for pedophiles, a good deal for people who commit statutory rape against young girls. If mothers and fathers across this country hear this, and they think, ‘Well, I guess my daughter or her boyfriend or her rapist can go out to a pharmacy and get a bunch of, you know, hormone pills to give a little girl’... We don’t really know the effect of a spiking or dropping a little girl’s... in many cases a young woman’s or a little girl’s hormonal levels. It’s outrageous!"
Please no one tell Laura Ingraham that pedophiles--BY DEFINITION--are already old enough to buy Plan B contraceptives.