Top Ten Celebrity Scandals of 2009 By Pop Geek [1 more lists]

The Biggest and most embarrassing celeb screw ups and stories of the past year

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1

Michael Jackson

Like something ELSE was gonna be in the number one spot this year? Sure, this was a bad year for celebs kicking the bucket, but when a legendary performer (and legendary freak of nature) dies with more drugs in his system than the entire pharmaceutical supply of Peurto Rico, no one tops it. (no, not even Elvis back in the day. Michael had way more illicit drugs I his body than Elvis did. I mean, this was s**t used to induce comas in hospitals. Micahel was HARD.CORE) The Three Ring Circus that followed was just as spectacular, and it STILL Isn’t over. In the wake of his death, everyone remembered they actually loved Michael once, and suddenly forgave him for touching little boys. Because, ya know…maybe he DIDN’T do it? Maybe it was all just "ignorance"? And isn’t Thriller the best video ever? Let’s all just focus on that. I know I did.
2

Rhianna

America thought R&B Stars Rhianna and Chris Brown were the new Whitney and Bobby; dysfunctional maybe, but harmless.But after their no show at this year’s Grammy Awards, it turned out they were more like the new Ike and Tina, after it was revealed that Chris Brown beat the living s**t out of Rhianna in their limo. And while everyone justifiably hated Chris Brown for what he did, people started to hate on Rhianna just as much when she went back to him. (Seriously girl?) Eventually realizing what a horrible role model for young women she was being for doing so, she finally dumped his ass for being a violent pig. But not before those photos of her face all tore up hit the tabloids.
3

Kanye West

This year’s MTV VMA Awards had some jaw dropping performances from the likes of Lady GaGa and Pink, but no one wants to talk about that. No, instead everyone focused on the drunken bad behavior of one Kanye West,who famously interrupted Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech. Personally, Taylor Swift should send Kanye a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine, because he just gave her a free pass for the rest of her life. If she ever decided to say, kill someone or something, America will be like "well, after what Kanye did to her…" and she’ll be forgiven.
4

Roman Polanski

Roman Polanski, legendary director of Chinatown and Rosemary’s Baby, drugged and raped a 13 year old girl back in 1977 and then fled the county not long after that. Having evaded justice for over 30 years, Roman was finally arrested in Switzerland and faces being brought to the States and finally being put on trial. Although his case WAS f**ked up (see the documentary Wanted And Desired to see what I mean) at the end of the day, m**********r DID rape a 13 year old. Sure, he survived the Holocaust, and sure, his wife, unborn baby and best friend were brutally murdered in his home for no reason by the Manson Family, but there are some things you just don’t get a free pass for. Raping kids is kind of one of those.
5

Carrie Prejean

Nothing has brought my black little heart joy more than the rise and spectacular fall this year of beauty pageant contestant Carrie Prejean. Miss California and runner up for Miss USA, Prejean became the darling of Conservative Christian America after saying she didn’t believe in same sex marriage when asked at the pageant during the final selection, by none other than uber flaming gay blogger Perez Hilton. The answer cost her the title, and got conservatives in an uproar saying how in America, ""no longer has freedom of speechz' etc (Note: I totally defend her right to say whatever she thinks. I also defend the right of someone to say "I Hate N***ers" when being interviewed by an African American for a job. I mean, both are dumb moves that ensure you won’t get the job, but you totally have the right to SAY that) Of course, like with so many pious conservatives before her, girl had some dirty laundry, like recently releases sex tapes she made for an ex boyfriend. Because God frowns on gay marriage, but apparently is totally ok with bad solo porn.
6

Jon & Kate Plus 8

A few years ago, Jon and Kate Plus 8 was a TLC Reality series about a couple with 8 little kids and their daily struggles. Like so many other people, I had a vague awareness of this show, but in 2009 there was no way you could escape the faces of Jon and Kate Gosselin, when it was revealed that *Gasp!* Jon had an affair. Apparently, it is somehow worse that he is f**king someone else because they have so many kids? I don’t get it. I also don’t care…it isn’t like the person he was having an affair with was the under age babysitter or a dude. It was just some chick. YAWN And while I personally find this scandal boring as hell, America ate it up, which is why it is on this list.
7

David Letterman

A former friend of Letterman’s decided to try to extort millions of dollars from him by threatening to reveal to the world that Letterman had an affair with a female staffer of his late night talk show. In a classic move of "you can’t fire me, I quit!" Letterman went live on the air and not only told the world of his little dalliances with female employees, but also of the extortion attempt, therefore gaining the sympathy of America and totally f**king over the extortionist. All this scandal brought killer ratings to his show as well. Well played Mr. Letterman, well played.
8

Miley Cyrus

Disney Channel’s very own Hannah Montana, sweetheart of America’s Heartland, proved this year that you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but not the trailer park out of the girl. At this year’s Nickolodeon Teen Choice Awards, Miss Cyrus came out and performed her new single "Party in the USA" for the kiddies. Did I mention she came out of an actual trailer up on stage? Put the piece de resistance of course, was when they brought out an actual stripper pole for her under age ass to writhe on. When she was done with her lovely ode to her White Trash roots, she thanked "God the Father for her putting her up on this stage tonight" Who knew God was into under age strippers?
9

Levi Johnston

Hard to believe, it was only a scant year ago that Levi Johnston, the then 17 year old Baby Daddy to Sarah Palin’s grandchild (abstinence only people!) was trotted out to the Republic National Convention, wearing a three piece suit that probably cost more than whatever s**t hole he lived in, extolling Family Values for eager Americans. Oh, what a difference a year makes. Not only has our young Mr. Johnston been kicked to the curb no sooner than the election was lost and the façade was no longer needed, but now he is trash talking Sarah Palin every chance he gets, and just finished a photo shoot for Playgay, I mean…Playgirl. Proving to gay men such as myself that there is indeed a God.
10

Mackenzie Phillips

You might remember Mackenzie Phillips from such films and shows as American Graffitti and One Day at a Time, but in the last twenty years she has become more known for doing every drug under the sun and going in and out of rehab more times than Robert Downey Jr. But while RDJ eventually conquered his demons and went on to major career resurgance, Mackenzie decided to write a tell all book about how she used to f**k her father, John Phillips, founder of classic 60's band The Mamas and the Papas. Oh, I’m sure the book is about other stuff too, but who cares? bitch HAD SEX WITH HER DAD. Who remembers the rest of the book when that’s in it? For some reason, she decided it would be a good idea to tell the world. So that from now on, every single time any one looks at her face for the rest of her life, all they will think about is "eww…you f**ked your DAD. You NASTY" And by the way, this isn’t a "molested at a young age" thing, this is "I started an affair with my Dad at age 18 thing". Seriously, that is one f**ked up family.

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Levi Johnston