Tracy Jordan Quotes By Movie and TV Quotes [174 more lists]

The best Tracy Jordan quotes include hilarious sayings by the '30 Rock' character, played by Tracy Morgan. Tracy Jordan has issues. He's erratic, self-centered and, most of the time, totally misguided. Tracy is a movie star (sort of), and he's certainly got the attitude for it. This list includes some of the most memorable lines ever uttered by Tracy Jordan on NBC's comedy series '30 Rock.' If you see your favorite quote on the list, by all means, vote it up. And if your personal favorite Tracy Jordan quote isn't listed, add it.

Tracy Jordan definitely has mental health problems. He's not all there. Example? He's a "Jedi" in the pilot episode of '30 Rock,' and he runs into L.A. traffic in his undies, wielding a toy light saber, to make sure everyone on the 405 knows it. His early life was rough. At one point, Tracy confesses that his neighborhood was so bad, a "pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy's" restaurant. Jordan also believes in several conspiracy theories, including one about the Black Crusaders. He explains that this is a secret organization that includes Bill Cosby, Condoleezza Rice Rice and Gordon from 'Sesame Street.'

Tracy Jordan: He believes you should "live every week like it's 'Shark Week," he thinks vampires are awesome golfers - and he hopes that some day, pigeons will finally have some self-respect. And he also hopes to own an island one day, just like other "crazy A-listers" Nicolas Cage, Celine Dion and...Charles Widmore.

Enjoy these awesome Tracy Jordan '30 Rock' quotes!

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Vampires: World's Greatest Golfers

I believe that vampires are the world's greatest golfers but their curse is they never get a chance to prove it!"
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Buckets

I can't believe I'm dead. There was still so much on my bucket list. So many different buckets I wanted to own. Buckets!
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Jedi

I am a Jedi!! I am a Jediiiiiiiiiii!
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A Team, Like Chicken

You don’t have to thank me, Lemon. We’re a team now. Like Batman and Robin. Like chicken, and a chicken container.
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Ann Curry

Who's crazier,me or Ann Curry?
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Shark Week

Here's some advice that I wish I would've got when I was your age: Live every week like it's 'Shark Week.'
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Pregnant Cornbread

I love this cornbread so much, I want to take it behind a middle school, and get it pregnant.
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Boston Legal: The New Star Trek

I watched Boston Legal nine times before I realized it wasn’t a new Star Trek.
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Black Crusaders

The Black Crusaders are a secret group of powerful Black Americans. Bill Cosby and Oprah Winfrey are the chief majors, but Jesse Jackson, Colin Powell and Gordon from 'Sesame Street,' they're members, too, and they meet four times a year in the skull of the Statue of Liberty. You can read about that on the Interweb.
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Manatee Mentor

Wow. The manatee has become the Mento.
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White Devil

I'll kill you, white devil!
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Did He Just Say 'Pumpkin'?

Did he just say the word pumpkin to me? Yo! I'm buggin'! I can't do this! I cannot eat here! I can't eat here. I've got to go some place where they make food that I like!
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Straight-Up Mentally Ill

You know how pissed off I was when 'US Weekly' said that I was on crack? That’s racist! I’m not on crack – I’m straight-up mentally ill!
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Biblical Dragon

When you purchase Tracy Jordan, he comes with a tattoo of a biblical dragon from outer space.
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Blind Guy Bites a Police Horse

I’ve seen a blind guy bite a police horse! A puppy committed suicide after he saw our bathroom! I once bit into a burrito and there was a child’s shoe in it! I’ve seen a hooker eat a tire! A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy’s! The sewer people stole my skateboard! The projects I lived in were named after Zachary Taylor, generally considered to be one of the worst presidents of all time! I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo! They were very drunk!
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One Million Teacher's Salaries

'Garfield 3, Feline Groovy:' It's a pun, because cat's paws have grooves! They're paying me one million teacher's salaries.
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Diabetes: The White Myth

There’s no link between diabetes and diet. That’s a white myth, Ken; like Larry Bird or Colorado.
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I Voted for Nader

I can’t read! I sign my name with an X! I once tried to make mashed potatoes with laundry detergent! I think I voted for Nader! Nader!!
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Wordplay!

What is this, Horseville? Cause I'm surrounded by naysayers. Wordplay!
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I Steal Dogs

That's me walking backwards out of a Starbucks. And that's not even my dog. That's right, I steal dogs!
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Pigeons Need Self-Respect

Stop eating people’s old French fries, pigeon. Have some self-respect! Don’t you know you can fly?
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John Adams' Entourage

Friendship and trust in the entourage is the most important thing. Like on that HBO show, John Adams.
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Large Child

Are you a large child or a small adult?
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Crazy A-Listers Own Islands

Every crazy A-lister owns an island. Nicolas Cage, Celine Dion, Charles Widmore…
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