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Bring It Back Here by Sunday NightBrad Gurdlinger: "I have a smidge of marijuana down in Mexico. Bring it back here by Sunday night and I'll pay you $100,000."
David Burke: "This is way out of my league."
Brad Gurdlinger: "You don't have a choice."
[David sees a whale attack a dolphin]
David Burke: "What the f*** is that?"
Brad Gurdlinger: "I bought an orca. I make a lot of money."
An interaction between David and his boss Brad sets off a chain of events by which the movie follows. Here, David learns that Brad wants him to smuggle what he says is just a tiny amount of drugs from Mexico back to the states. It sounds simple but things escalate quickly.
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A Little MusicRose O'Malley: "I don't think you think things through."
David Burke: "Will you relax! How about a little music?"
[Kenny begins singing along perfectly to TLC's "Waterfalls"]
David Burke: [Mouths] "What the f***?"
In one of many moments where the fake family members get to know each other a bit more, David, Rose and Casey learn that Kenny has a very unique talent in this scene. That talent? Singing along word for word with
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You Can't Rent Me!Rose O'Malley: "What do you want?"
David Burke: "How would you like to spend Fourth of July weekend making 10 grand?"
Rose O'Malley: "What?!"
David Burke: "Rose, listen. All I'm asking is you go to Mexico with me this weekend. All right, and then you and me, we drive home in an RV and that RV has a little bit of pot in it."
Rose O'Malley: "Drug dealing?"
David Burke: "No, no, it's not drug dealing, it's smuggling."
Rose O'Malley: "Are you out of your mind?"
David Burke: "Look, Rose, $10,000 and your flight's already paid for."
Rose O'Malley: "You can't buy me!"
David Burke: "I'm not buying you, all right. I'm renting you! Like Pretty Woman.. Me crossing the border alone, huge red flag, but families, they don't get a second look. Rose, I need you to be my wife."
With his fake kids hired for the job, David approaches Rose at her place of business to ask for her help. Rose thinks he's crazy, which might be true, but she's also enticed by the thought of making that much money so quickly.
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Meet Your New SisterDavid Burke: "Look, I hired this dork that lives in my building and a little gutter punk."
…David Burke: "Kenny, meet your new sister!"
Kenny: "I've always wanted a sister." [hugs Casey]
Casey: "Get it off of me!"
David Burke: "We just have to dress up as an all-American squeaky clean family."
After hiring Kenny and Casey to act as his children, he introduces the two. Kenny is elated to have a sister but Casey on the other hand is not amused.
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It's a SkateboardDavid Burke: [Playing Pictionary] "Is that a rocket or um?"
Rose O'Malley: "You know what that is, is that a cucumber? It's a big, black penis."
Kenny: "It's a skateboard."
David Burke: "Skateboard, great"
Rose O'Malley: "Of course it is!"
David Burke: "It's a big, black skateboard."
An innocent game of Pictionary goes awry when Rose's stripper thoughts surface in her answers. Luckily David is there to get her mind out of the gutter.
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