The Craziest Baseball Stadium Snacks

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Listen to Larry and Shawn King rank their favorite stadium snacks on the Ranker Podcast! (Click below)



Let's face facts: this is America and disgusting food makes everything better. A six-hour drive up the Interstate: stop at In N Out for a 4x4... animal style. Stuck in a town with nothing but a one-horse saloon and a greasy spoon? Get hammered and eat whatever pickled treats are behind the bar and order the 17-egg omelette from the diner as a hangover cure. Watching your favorite baseball team get thrashed at the hands of their rivals? 

It's time to seek out the greatest food abominations in the MLB.

There's no baseball team immune to the occasional offensive rout or defensive breakdown, and if you happen to be at your club's home field (or worse yet, witnessing this atrocity on the road), it may be time to seek some comfort. In food. 

The craziest ball park offerings range from the bizarre (Rocky Mountain oysters at Coor's Field) to the sublime (bacon on a stick. Bacon. On a stick) and are sure to elevate your game day by more than a couple notches. In addition to your standard bizarre MLB stadium snacks, there are eating challenges that could earn you season tickets (Tropicana Field), as wel as absurd portions ostensibly labeled for consumption by 2-4 people that you'll no doubt attempt on your own.

What are the weirdest baseball concession options? What baseball stadiums have the craziest foods? Short of visiting all the MLB ballparks, growing a belly for the ages, and possibly getting dropped by your healthcare provider, this list of bizarre baseball stadium foods is your best way to get to know the ways baseball fans are packing in the snacks this baseball season.


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    The Closer

    Not to be glib, but The Closer - two grilled cheese sandwiches stuffed with nine different cheeses and adorned with candied bacon - should really be subtitled "...Of Your Arteries". Hopefully those who attempt this dairy demon at Pittsburgh Pirates home games do so under the supervision of someone competent in CPR.

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    More Banana Split That You Could Possibly Need at a Baseball Game

    The powers that be in the Chicago White Sox organization decided that a mini helmet full of soft serve wasn't good enough for their fans (oh, no). Instead, they've chosen to offer a full-size batting helmet swollen with 12 scoops of ice cream, several bananas, whipped cream, strawberry sauce, chocolate drizzle, and cherries in what has to be the biggest confectionery treat in the MLB. 

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    Bacon Flight

    A flight of bacon, you can order A FLIGHT OF BACON at a Chicago White Sox game. US Cellular field will set you up with sticks of flavored goodness that'll elevate your spirits even as the opposing team raises the score.

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    This 4-Pound Burger That Comes With Season Tickets (Kind Of)

    Now that Adam Richman (he of "Man vs. Food") has retired from professional eating challenges, the Tampa Bay Rays are looking in the stands for their next gross-amounts-of-food superstar. For $30, you get a 4-pound bacon cheeseburger and a pound of fries - but that's not all. Dubbed the "Fan vs. Food" challenge, the powers that be at Tropicana Stadium will reward any fan to consume the whole plate (no time limit is specified) with two season tickets and a t-shirt. No word on seat location or whether tees of a size other than XL will be available.

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    Tatchos

    Much like their cousin, Irish Nachos, PNC Park's Tatchos are nachos with a potato base taking the place of tortilla chips (tater tots, in this case). Beans, cheese, sour cream, and chives top a Napoleon Dynamite favorite at the home of the Pittsburgh Pirates.

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    Mac Bat

    If you're taking in a Rays game at Tropicana Field, you can grab this cone filled with mac n cheese and topped with your choice of chili, bacon, or tomatoes. Nobody's gonna blame you for ordering one of each.

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    Churro Dog

    Arizona may be known for its anti-immigration stance, but there's no denying this Mexican-influenced dessert is worthy of its inclusion at the concession stands at the Arizona Diamondbacks games.

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    Chicken And Waffle Cone

    At Minute Maid Park, the home of the Houston Astros, you can get a waffle cone filled with mashed potatoes, topped with fried chicken nuggets, and drizzled with honey mustard. Ridiculous in the best way.

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    Murph-a-Dilla

    To call this an abomination on a tortilla would be wholly (guacamole) incorrect; it's an abomination on HALF A DOZEN tortillas. Shredded cheese, pico de gallo, beef brisket and more are fitted into the 24-inch quesadilla and laid to rest on a bed of Doritos. Served at the Rangers Ballpark at Arlington, it's said to be a favorite of outfielder David Murphy.

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    The Elvis Jabberdog Brownie

    Texas Rangers fans may not be able to physically leave the stadium after taking down this two-foot-long brownie. It's rolled in Rice Krispy crust and deep fried in funnel cake batter, then topped with whipped cream and more brownies.

    Source: Fox4

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    The Broomstick

    For most, a foot-long hot dog is big enough to suit their ballpark needs. However, as everything is bigger in Texas, the Rangers have deigned it fit to offer The Broomstick, a two-foot long, one pound dog topped with chili, cheese, caramelized onions, and jalapenos "meant" to feed 2-4 people. For $26, it's either this dog or 1 1/2 beers.

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    Bacon On a Stick

    We've all heard that everything is bigger in Texas and now it appears that some things are thicker, too. This season at Texas Rangers home games you can purchase a 3/4inch thick piece of Hungarian bacon dipped in maple syrup and mounted on a stick for your eating pleasure. $7 is SO worth the enjoyment this meaty delight will bring the fans.

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    Bases Loaded Burger

    Yankee Stadium offers up this burger with cilantro dressing, cheese, garnish, and fried mac n cheese layered between a King's Hawaiian bun.

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    The Strasburger

    Named for Washington Nationals pitcher Stephen Strasburg, The Strasburger is eight pounds (EIGHT POUNDS) of burger, secret sauce, shredded lettuce, tomatoes, red onions, and pickles. The good people at Nationals Park also throw in a cone of fries in case you're still feeling hungry afterwards.

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    Tommy Lasorda's Meatball Marinara Fries

    One of Dodger Stadium's most famous alumni, Tommy Lasorda, lends his name to this Italian influenced fry and meatball concoction. Not saying you'll never have your meatballs on spaghetti again, but you'll consider fries the next best option.

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    The Burgerizza

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    The Burgerizza
    Photo: kijafa/imgur.com

    Turner Field in Atlanta, GA put quite a few new food oddities on the menu for the Braves' 2016 season, but none of them are as bizarre as the "Burgerizza" which is, just as the name implies, a burger inside a pizza. Well, to be more exact, it's a bacon cheeseburger sat on top of one pizza and topped with another. You can take the step towards your first heart attack for just $26 at any Braves home game.

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    The Hammer

    Seriously, who needs a bun when you have a pair of waffles? Crispy, sweet pastry discs envelope a piece of fried chicken, bacon, and pepper jack cheese coated in - wait for it - pecan maple mayonnaise. Found at Turner Field (in the South, you should have guessed), the salty sweet sandwich will hook you quick.

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    D-Bat Dog

    The Arizona Diamondbacks are selling out of this 18-inch monstrosity so fast they're struggling to keep up with demand. An 18-inch-long corn dog stuffed with jalapenos, cheddar, and - most importantly - bacon, the D-Bat Dog sells for $25 dollars and comes with fries and a note to your doctor explaining your poor choices in the food department. 

    AUTHOR'S NOTE:

    I ate this thing. Well, I posed for pictures with all of it and then ate about half of it.




    Did I feel bad spending $25 so I could take a picture with an overgrown State Fair staple? Nah. Did I feel DISGUSTING after every. single. bite? Absolutely. Between three of us we only ate half of the combo. I folded the box over to-go style and ate the rest of this drunk in my hotel room later that night (waste not, want not...).

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    Stuggy's Mac N' Cheese Dog

    Since the Orioles aren't exactly the winningest club in the East, loading up on beer and delicious eats at Camden Yards seems like a must. Enter the Mac n' Cheese Dog, a wiener split down the middle, piled high with decadent mac n' cheese and lump crab meat, and dusted with Old Bay seasoning. You'll take one bite and momentarily forget whatever woeful thing is happening on the field.

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    Chicken Fried Corn On The Cob

    If you want to make a healthy thing delicious, you fry it, like they do to corn on the cob at the Globe Life Park for Texas Rangers games.

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