It's no wonder the strangest headlines come from Florida. Every year, "America's wang" tops the news with another ridiculous story that makes other Americans question, "Should Florida still be part of the US?" If it weren't for Disney World's Epcot and the Harry Potter theme park, the US might have kept the "Sunshine State" a secret. After reading this list of weird things that happened in Florida in 2017, you will totally understand why.
In addition to topping crime charts ranked by state, Florida consistently provides the most bizarre yet hilarious news. Maybe they put something in the water down at the Everglades because these strange events are definitely caused by abnormal people. Crazy and funny are just understatements for these WTF things that happened in Florida this year.
Here are the most unbelievable and weirdest things that happened in Florida in 2017. If you want to see more of this state's strangeness, this is a collection of Florida mugshots that will show you why "America's wang" is a fitting nickname.
Miami 'Robin Hood' Kidnaps Uber Driver, Robs A Bank, Gives Out Cash On Street
Buckle in - this story has multiple elements of surprise.
An unidentified man in Miami hailed an Uber on January 9. Not a strange event by itself, right? He then forced his Uber driver to help him rob a bank. And then the Uber driver, called Mikebilly So-Focused, broadcasted it on Facebook Live. And that's not even the craziest part. The man - dressed in a suit and tie - took the cash he stole from a South Beach credit union and started handing it out to people on the street, all while Mikebilly kept filming.
"I'm going to surrender once I give away this money to people who are poor, then I'll surrender," the man said on the video. Why was he so riled up? He explains: "I want people to listen to me and for them to stop lying to us. They're lying to us. They're telling us that Russia hacked the election and they're trying to start a war."
Naturally he finished his crime spree by calling in a bomb threat.
Man Steals Beanee Weenee Cans, Blames 'Inner Thug' For Theft
Tommy Barber didn't chose the thug life - the thug life chose him. At least, that's what he told St. Lucie County Sheriff's deputies after he stole multiple cans of Beanee Weenee, a delectable treat of beans that can be found at many locations for approximately $2.50.
Barber, a North Carolina native, was arrested in St. Lucie County on a misdeamenor charge for the theft, which totalled $8.77. When asked why he stole the cans, he said he wasn't hungry.
"It's just the thug in me," he told investigators.
Hungry Burglar Takes Bite Of Pizza, Leaves Behind DNA, Is Arrested
Jamar Mackey didn't take his mother's advice to finish whatever's on your plate.
After getting hungry during a home burglary in Stuart, FL, Mackey took a bite from a piece of pizza on the counter before throwing it in the trash. Investigators noticed it, took a DNA sample, and matched to Mackey. He was arrested in January.
Man Burglarizes Spy Shop That Sells Surveillance Cameras, Is Caught On Camera
If you're going to burglarize a place - and get away with it - you might not want to target a shop specializing in surveillance equipment.
But that's exactly what one man did. The unidentified burglar attempted to break into the Spy Shop in Deerfield Beach, FL. To no one's surprise, the store has multiple cameras that caught the man's burglary from several different angles. Also on the property are a slew of signs alerting anyone trying to break in that they're on camera.
Store owners posted the video online and handed it over to police.
"I don't know why you would rob a spy store," a store manager told WSVN Miami. "The guy's probably not the smartest criminal."
Argument Over Showering Results In Shooting
A Central Florida couple was arrested after a confrontation about their hygiene habits - specifically who was showering with who - turned violent.
James Rainville, 27, and his girlfriend Angela Toole, 36, got into an argument with their roommate about their shower arrangement. Apparently Toole and another woman at the home had showered together, upsetting their roommate who then demanded Toole and Rainville leave. Instead of packing their things and finding another shower to populate, Rainville got his gun and shot their roommate in the leg.
The moral of the story: before you shower with someone, make sure it's cool with everyone in the house.
High School Girl's Basketball Game Ends In Brawl Between Parents
Parents at a girl's high school basketball game did more than just cheer on these student athletes, they started a melee.
Two parents were detained after the fight erupted at Hagerty High School in Oviedo, FL. According to the Orlando Sentinel, one parent was upset about a call from a referee and made a colorful remark about it. This angered another parent and after they exchanged words, they exchanged fists.
Others jumped in to pull them apart before Seminole County Sheriff's deputies arrived at the scene.
Deputy Defrauds Elderly Woman Before Stealing Her Dog And Trying To Kill Her
A Sarasota County Sheriff's deputy was arrested after he cashed fraudulent checks he stole from an elderly woman's account - totaling $65,000 - and then tried to kill her when she confronted him about the theft. As she lay dying he stole her dog and sold it on Craigslist. Talk about adding insult to injury.
Thankfully the woman was transported to a hospital where she recovered. Deputy Frankie Bybee, 46, forced the woman to take an overdose of pills and staged the scene to look like a suicide. He is charged with attempted murder among other things.
After Cops Find Gun In His Car, Student Reveals He's A Drug Dealer
Thing's might've gone better for 18-year-old Cole Gamble if he'd just kept his mouth shut.
The Palm Beach State College student was pulled over on January 9 in Boca Raton. Police discovered marijuana, plastic baggies, a bong, and a gun in his car. When asked what the gun was for, Gamble had a simple explanation: He's a drug dealer, and it's a dangerous business.
After telling cops the gun was for protection, he went on to detail his business to cops. On a good night, he told them according to the Palm Beach Post, he can make $1,000. Well, he used to, anyway.