What Does Your Beer Say About You?

So it's Guys/Girl's Night Out. You're either out at the bars, or chilling with a case. Here's what your drink choice says about you to everyone else.

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Category: Beers

Modified: 2009-11-04 12:54:22.0

Bud Light

Says; "Hey guys, I'm here to party, pound a few with my friends, and keep my eye on the Sportscenter I already watched earlier. Have you seen the label? I believe it is the sexiest looking bottle out there. Look at the splashing wave, it's like, should I surf it? Or drink it? I'm not going to spring for the $1 dollar extra import, because I love America! What? Anheuser-Busch got bought out by WHO?"

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brewery_brand	from_region	alcohol_content	first_brewed	country	beer_style
Anheuser-Busch

Miller Lite

Says; "Me and Nick Lachey LOVE this stuff. I wish we could hang out."

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brewery_brand	from_region	alcohol_content	first_brewed	country	beer_style
Miller Brewing		4.2			Lite American Lager

Coors Original

Says; "If we're not in a snowy log cabin, then I'm here to kill somebody with my axe, which is obviously in my truck. Never mind, want to go camping? I have some wood at my house that we can chop. How come everyone else isn't rocking a beard and a Carhartt shirt?"

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brewery_brand	from_region	alcohol_content	first_brewed	country	beer_style

For Your
Information

Guinness

Says; "Hey, I can handle a really dark beer. I also would LOVE to tell you about backpacking through Ireland, cause, we all know American Guinness is NOTHING like the magic Guinness they make there. Want to talk about the best hostels to stay at? I have a list of my favorites in my pocket."

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brewery_brand	from_region	alcohol_content	first_brewed	country	beer_style
Guinness	Dublin	4.1	1759	Ireland	Stout

Cerveceria Modelo Pacifico Clara

Says; "WHERE is my lime? I'm awesome, I wish this bar had hammocks. Let's all jetset to Cabo this weekend. Somebody better put on a Jimmy Buffet tune before I throw my flip flop at the bouncer. You hear me Senorita?"

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brewery_brand	from_region	alcohol_content	first_brewed	country	beer_style
Cerveceria Modelo	Mexico	4.6

Pyramid Hefeweizen

Says; "I love my beer, I don't mess around with that light shit, I'm obviously not a pussy... But why isn't there an orange in here?"

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brewery_brand	from_region	alcohol_content	first_brewed	country	beer_style
Pyramid Breweries, Inc.	United States	5.0

Amstel Light

Says; "Where the hell did I put my Kindle?Wow...Look at that guy drinking Bud Light, OBVIOUSLY he doesn't even read books... Especially not by the fireplace, like I do."

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brewery_brand	from_region	alcohol_content	first_brewed	country	beer_style

Keystone Light

Says; I'm not afraid to like this cheap, fun, collegiate favorite. It's also a lot like canoeing, it's pretty close to water!! Whatever, Stones are awesome! Hopefully I save them for sporting events, poolside, at the beach, or among close friends. I know it's nothing impressive, and I'm never going to hear a girl be like "Um, no, I don't want a vodka soda, I'll take a Stone instead." Who cares, it's smooth, even when I'm not."

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brewery_brand	from_region	alcohol_content	first_brewed	country	beer_style

Steel Reserve

Says; "Hey, I'm homeless... Where's my bus?"

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brewery_brand	from_region	alcohol_content	first_brewed	country	beer_style
Steel Brewing Company	United States	8.1

Natural Light

Says; "They totally ran out of Keystone Light. I'm sorry."

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brewery_brand	from_region	alcohol_content	first_brewed	country	beer_style
Anheuser-Busch

Stella Artois

Says; "Yeah? You see that? That's my Stella... I even have a special beer glass for it... That's right... Plus, chick's love this stuff... Let's not make any mistake about it, I even pronounced it right. 'Ar-Twaa'... Say it... 'Ar-Twaa'...Did you even GO to grad school?"

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brewery_brand	from_region	alcohol_content	first_brewed	country	beer_style
		5.0

Cerveceria Modelo Corona Extra

Says; "I haven't ever heard of Pacifico, Tecate, or Modelo Especial before. I love their relaxing commercials, I would TOTALLY skip my Blackberry across the ocean like a rock too... Uno mas!"

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brewery_brand	from_region	alcohol_content	first_brewed	country	beer_style
Cerveceria Modelo	Mexico	4.6

Heineken Light

Says; "I don't need some light domestic beer to watch my calorie intake. I can comfortably drink this more expensive option, with the ability to also look like I have a good job and don't live in a trailer. Plus, I love a beer that matches my VW Golf."

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brewery_brand	from_region	alcohol_content	first_brewed	country	beer_style

Samuel Adams Boston Lager

Says; "GO PATS!!!! Oh my god, is that Tom Brady? I wish Brady was here so I could buy him a wicked sweet Sam Adams and we could drink to this wicked sweet baaahhhhr"

Keep it in the Northeast.

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brewery_brand	from_region	alcohol_content	first_brewed	country	beer_style
Samuel Adams	United States	4.75

Stroh Brewery Old Milwaukee

Says, "I'm either 75 years old, or I'm going ice fishing."

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brewery_brand	from_region	alcohol_content	first_brewed	country	beer_style
Stroh Brewery	United States	4.6

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21 Comments

by anonymous at September 01, 2010 09:03

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by anonymous at September 01, 2010 09:01

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by anonymous at August 23, 2010 20:40

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by anonymous at August 27, 2010 06:00

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by anonymous at March 18, 2010 02:24

I like this and i drink daily ..... my friends are not sleep without take it...

by TotesMagotes at March 05, 2010 17:14

Hahha this list is good. I specifically like the natty light one- it's so truee

by Greg at December 04, 2009 12:17

now we need a list of what your beer belly says about you

by kristen1985 at December 04, 2009 10:44

Just curious. What does a Mike's Hard Lemonade say about a man?

by anonymous at December 03, 2009 13:30

this is a funny list

by hehateme at December 03, 2009 11:37

What would anchor steam say about me. its by far the most underrated beer out there. TRY IT!!

by kristen1985 at December 01, 2009 10:39

I wish I could be the girl in the natural light commercials. plus those commercials are so funny.

by kpb456 at December 03, 2009 13:32

those commercials are classic. i love how natty lights have commercials now. they are the definition of college student.

by Greg at December 04, 2009 12:17

low budget = low quality but if it gets 'em drunk, it's good enough

by anonymous at November 06, 2009 14:49

meh, work on your technique

by anonymous at November 21, 2009 03:06

yes

by anonymous at November 06, 2009 14:32

good idea, but not funny. it would have been easier to just say 'anyone who drinks light beer is a C***'

by anonymous at November 21, 2009 03:07

yes

by V757A at November 06, 2009 11:49

woah, you need to chill. not funny at all... and natural light is not a keystone backup that it insulting

by anonymous at September 23, 2009 21:39

where the hell did I put my kindle ...hahahaha..I know this amstel drinker

by anonymous at September 07, 2009 20:51

hahahah clever..and cool

by ruby at September 02, 2009 22:37

this is funny as hell G . Liquid babay !!

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