Who You Want On Your Team in the Event Of An Apocalypse By BrittanyThai 

If you've seen Armageddon, you know what I'm talking about. "Houston, we are coming home," That moment he pulls off his NASA patch and throws Ben Affleck back into air tube/space elevator thing and gets on the camera and talks to his daughter one last time incites a range of emotions ultimately resulting in an erratic episode of weeping as you watch the shuttle come back into the atmosphere, and a montage of children from all corners of the world are running around happily outside, pan to the crew in their orange suits walking in a horizontal line toward you in slow motion while epic music chauffeurs them back into the anxious arms of their awaiting families and sweethearts...and cue Aerosmith. Hands down, I would call up Bruce Willis first. He's willing to give up his own life to save the world. Yippi-ki-yay motherf**ker

How does he manage to get into so many near death situations where any normal or even above average human being would never escape and barely survive every single one of them? Dude, if the world was crumbling, I want to be in John Cusack's car fosho. How does he dodge all of the asteroids and fiery balls that are coming out of the sky if he's looking at the road? And why does everyone around him get killed? 2012 was probably one of the most ridiculous movies I'd ever seen about some earth ending catastrophic event but John was as badass as you could get in a movie like this...and he'll stand outside of your window holding a boombox. So dreamy.

Don't let his stoic demeanor and enthusiasm for the Total Gym infomercials fool you... 1.) Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits. 2.) Chuck Norris once roundhouse-kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. 3.) Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. 4.) When Chuck Norris was born, he punched kicked his way out of his mother's womb and proceeded to roundhouse kick the doctor in the face...because only Chuck Norris can deliver Chuck Norris. And this concludes your all-star lineup.

Exhibit 1: Independence Day. Enough said. The scene where he punches the alien in the face and then drags it through the desert...so bo$$. However, there is a wide range of reasons as to why Will Smith should be on your team ranging his rebelliousness in Fresh Prince of Bel Air, to his ability to handle f*turistic gadgets from the f*ture/flash the thing to induce short term amnesia in Men in Black (also previous experience with aliens doesn't hurt), to surviving the plague as the rest of humanity ceases to exist in I Am Legend...and let's face it, hancock? Not pretendsies. He is actually an ultrastrong superhero. Welcome to Miami bitches.

Honestly have nothing witty to say about this dude except for when I was watching the NBA Playoffs on TNT, every commercial break had a commercial for "Falling Skies," and it was the same exact thing every time. But the recurring commercials had such a great impact on me that I had a dream one night, and it looked like I was in the commercial, the skies, the spaceships, the helicopters, the blue light surrounding the spaceship. S**t was intense. This dream put me into survival mode. And also caused unnecessary stress for the remainder of my day. Aside from this terrible TV show (which I doubt will have a Season 2), I guess Noah Wyle could be useful in the event that you need surgical assistance or if some of your limbs need to be reattached...I was about 5 years old when he was on ER but he was a pretty sexy doctor. I'd pick him over George Clooney.