Why I Hate Suburban Horse Owners People
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Why I Hate Suburban Horse Owners

They’re in every suburban neighborhood. No matter where they live, they believe it’s their God given right to ride a horse in a semi-city… and I hate them. Here's why.
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  1. 1

    Mean

    There’s something about having your vagina/balls/taint/vagina-taint pounded repeatedly on a daily basis in a non-sexy way that makes you a massive jerk. I’ve never met a nice suburban horse owner or a happy suburban horse.

    They have two modes, yelling and yelling at something. I guess I'd be like that too if I were lonely enough to buy a horse.

  2. 2

    Stupid

    Suburban horse owners are stupid and just not for trying to ride a horse next to a Target and a Coldstone.

    They’re surprised when their horse tries to buck them off after a car drives by and scares the s**t out of "their baby!" What? A horse is afraid of a car? Weird! A wild animal is afraid of a giant speeding box of metal, one of the only things big enough to kill it! Your horse is one horsepower! Mine is 280 horsepower! You both should be afraid!

    Take your horse somewhere there's not a lot of cars... like the country!

  3. 3

    Dumb Clothes

    I think this picture says it all.

  4. 4

    Control Freaks

    Freud was a jerk, and wrong a lot of the time, but I think he would have had something to say about someone wanting to control an animal two or three times bigger than they. That alone should be proof enough that suburban horse owners are insane and should not be given the right to be outside of a government controlled facility, let alone outside and on top of an animal two or three times bigger than they!

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