The Worst Band Names of All Time Bands/Musicians

The Worst Band Names of All Time

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This is it, not just a definitive collection of awful, uncreative band names, but ranked of order of pure foulness. Whether it's the pathetic reason behind their names, lacks any real meaning or just makes their whole career look like one big joke these names will serve as a warning from history; and spend just that little more time coming up with a name that sounds right. Anyway, here's the list of main offenders and what they did wrong...

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  1. 1
    Photo: Freebase/CC-BY-SA
    Without a shadow of a doubt these guys have to be up there for having the most unpronouncable and ungoogleable (It so is a word!) band name on the planet. If your name cannot even be googled then you're already a massive step behind the rest of the world.

    Best described as Chk Chk Chk, or the noise that african bushmen do when they click their tongues, !!! also go by other stupid names such as Uh Uh Uh, Pow Pow Pow and The Retard Circus Act Spectaculare!!! Ok the last one is made up, but unnecessary punctuation is terrible, but having a name made entirely of bad punctuation is where i draw the line.
  2. 2
    Photo: Freebase/Fair use
    A duo that basically follows all the necessary instructions from the Dumbf**k Cooking Manual®© into serving a nice warm helping of stupidity. It is now a rule of thumb that band names should NEVER contain: 1) numbers. You're not a phonebook, you're a rock band trying to give yourself the best image possible.2) unnecessary punctuation. Same rules would apply with a brand name (which is essentially what you're doing, branding yourselves) for example, i hardly think McDonald's would've allowed themselves to brand themselves as a family friendly restaurant if they were called ¡MacDonalds!, but rather had scared them away with their shouting.3) stupid reason behind your name. And boy does it not get any stupider than this. The honest answer here is that 303 was their old post code address in Boulder, Colorado. great. I mean, nothing gets any edgier than a freakin' post code. Thanks guys, now everyone knows where your family lives - and have succeed in making fans more able to f**k your mothers. kudos.
    PS: i know fans of the band enjoy doing the little 3 0 3 hand symbol at gigs, which makes me feel they missed out by not calling their band 11 so everyone else can join in :D
  3. 3
    Enuff Z'Nuff
    Photo: Freebase/Fair use
    Where do I even begin? Founding member Chip Z'Nuff (that's right, folks) put a little too much heart and soul into this. As well as highlighing a degree of impatience, we have god awful spelling, a pointless apostrophe and uses the letter Z for an S. This kind of stupidity isn't accepted in the ghetto community (Boyz II Men would be on this list if I felt I hadn't made enough enemies) so why should 4 dorky, white men called Derek, Vikki, Donnie and Chip be able to pull it off? Well they don't, and they didn't..
  4. 4
    Dumb, rediculous, lame... these are just some of the words i would use to describe Hoobastank, also their name's pretty stupid too. According to the members, there is no meaning, it's just a made up word that they thought people would remember. And although to some extent they are right, it's for all the wrong reasons. To me it sounds like they tried to make up a new swear word without actually getting into trouble, which as we all no is super hardcore.
  5. 5
    Photo: Freebase/CC-BY-SA
    Of all the boy bands that plagued the music scene in the 1990's, Five (or 5ive, because you know, a 5 and an F look the same...) have to go down as the least creative in terms of a band name. The long version of the story is that a quintet of adolescent homo sapiens journey on a road of self discovery and decided to christen their business enterprise with the exact amount of people whom which it consisted of. The short story was that there were five so they were called Five. What makes sweet sweet justice is that after their first reunion was a failure, their second comeback (taking place in 2013) will only consist of 4 of the main cast. This leads to their own band name backfiring on their sweet, young faces. Somehow 4our just isn't as catchy.
  6. 6
    Cerebral Ballzy
    Photo: Freebase/CC-BY-SA
    Once again a musician's sad humour knows no bounds. As if making fun of disabled people wasn't insulting enough the lead singer wanted to share his love of sick humour with the world. The story goes that he was hanging out with a friend by the train tracks in NYC (because that wht normal people do for fun) and he dropped his pizza on the track. Being a typical overweight Americano, he risked his own life for a pizza slice, by jumping onto the track, pick it up and continue to stuff his greedy face. the lead singer then summed up this entire act of stupidity with "Wow, that was ballsy!"
    To which his friend replies "Yeah! Cerebral Ballsy!"

    Despite not going down in history as one of the greatest catchphrases ever,the lead singer, (Dis)Honor(ed) Tit(head)us (Gee, brackets are fun!) chose to remember that fateful day where neither he nor his companion perished with this truly awful band name. Throw in a pointless 'Z' instead of an 'S' for good measure and you've got yourself a winner.
  7. 7
    How this dance duo made the band name transition from "Balls" to "Test Icicles" we'll never know, all we do know is that this is pretty awful, immature and deeply wrong. No one would ever brag about owning the latest Test Icicles CD/T-shirt/Vibrator, which lead to their demise after onyl being in the business for 3 years.
  8. 8
    Imagine the looks from the recording company when you tell them your band name and expect a cheap laugh that is enough to satisfy your overfueled ego, only to be met with yet another awkward silence. That must've been what 90's British weirdos Gay Dad encountered during their 8 years as a band. Maybe the 1990's was too early for the tolerancy for gay marriage and adoption. Shame.
  9. 9
    Remember the good times of music, you know, when people actually had to play a little thing called an instrument to be in a band. Not when the 90's spawned the hideous monstrosity known as the boy band. And whilst 5ive certainly have the WORST boy band band name, *NSYNC are not that far behind.

    A collabaration that included Justin Timberlake from the Mickey Mouse Club and a failed Backstreet Boy, like, how bad do you have to be to not make that cut? Anyway, it all began when they were practicing when Timberland's mum said how "In Sync" everybody was. She then went on to make them cookies with Sunny D. The 'guys' then did a play on words by taking the last letter from each of their first names; JustiN, ChriS, JoeY, LancE and JoshuA.

    But wait! doesn't that spell NSYEA? Well luckily when you're in a group of 5, you have 5 times the brainpower! Unfortunately, individually they all had the IQ of about 40, so it all went down hill here. They changed Joshua's name to JC and Lance's name to LansteN, which by the way isn't a freakin' name! So their name is dumb, welcome to the list boys. 
  10. 10
    What makes this band name so fun is that you have a choice between which terrible story this name comes from, hope you're sitting comfortably...   
    1) Bizkit was the name of Fred Durst's dog, who had a limp o_O

    2) They named themselves after the homosexual masturbation game which i don't want to get into trouble for telling you all about, though I don't think Soggy Biscuit has the same ring to it

  11. 11
    Lead singer Chad Kroeger was having trouble coming up with a name, and so approached his brother, who worked at a Starbucks. Coffee was $1.95, which meant every customer who paid two bucks got-waiiiit for it-a nickel back!
    If you walk up to the cashier behind a Starbucks counter and, instead of ordering a Caramel Latte, ask them to name your s**tty band, odds are you're going to get something giving-people-change-for-coffee-based.
  12. 12
    Hootie & the Blowfish
    Photo: Freebase/Public domain
    If there's anyone in the world that has been named Hootie then my sympathies go out to you, your parents must've hated you from day 1. Fortunately none of the band members are called Hootie, but raises further questions about how they came up with such a name, and then add "And the Blowfish." Is it Plural? Are they serious? What were they smoking? These are all valid questions and sadly I cannot answer a single one. FUN FACT: they started their band when their guitarist, Mark Bryan, overheard Darius Rucker in the shower when they were college freshmen. Again why they were showering together only raises further questions.
  13. 13
    Taken from a Monty Python sketch about a spoof news report, Toad the Wet Sprocket is gibberish personified. Whilst Monty Python's creations; The Holy Grail, Meaning of Life,and The Life of Brian have become immortalised in comedy history, sadly the rest of their material has not. This is because for every joke the Monty Python crew told that was funny, there followed 5-8 jokes that were not. Clearly we know where this name came from. Vocalist Glen Philips admitted it "Was a joke that went on too long." Sadly a statent must be funny to be classified as a joke, not a failed pop culture reference nobody got.
  14. 14
    I didn't wanna have to spell it out, but band name's SHOULD NOT CONTAIN PREPOSITIONS! or to put it in a way Archers of Loaf will understand: Prepostions of Shouldn't Containers are not good Names of Bands! And if their names didn't make your blood boil, there is absolutely no meaning, but rather than pick a word out of a dictionary and just go with it, AofL went that little bit further, and picked two.
  15. 15
    Mott the Hoople
    Photo: Freebase/CC-BY

    When the band regrouped in the late 1960s, their new manager changed their name from Silence to Mott the Hoople, after a novel of the same name about a circus freak.

    The problem is, we don't know anyone who's ever read, or even heard of the novel. We asked a professor of mid-20th century circus freak literature if he'd read it, and he punched us in the stomach for making up such a stupid sounding novel. Also, calling anything Mott the Hoople basically begs one to enquire what the hell a Hoople is, for which of course there's no good answer. It's basically the band name version of the joke that goes "You've got some updoc on your shoulder!" Only when the person replies, "What's up, doc?" you say, "I have no idea, something about a circus freak.

  16. 16
    Talk about taking the piss with this band name. a band with as many band name stories as they have members (8 for some reason) the most 'believeable, is that the word?' comes from a dream their guitarist had one night whereby he was sitting near the toilets in a restaurant and saw the signs where the gentlemen's were called Chumbas and the ladies, Wambas. I know right? Sounds more like what the Cookie Monster cries prior to ejaculation, but that's just my dirty mind again.
  17. 17
    Photo: Freebase/Public domain
    Band naming decisions usually don't get any worse than this, picking up on the english homonym (a word spelt the same but can sound different) is never a good marketing idea, especially since very few people actually know what to call you. This can give you quite a disadvantage at festivals or award ceremonies (just go with it, ok?) when the host announces your band name incorrectly, suffering humiliation for everyone when you have to correct him/her. Secondly, reading a sign on the venue of any of their gig is just annoying: Tonight: LIve!: Live! Again, stop confusing us. Lastly, it looks like the band just looked in a dictionary for the most annoying word they could find and settled on that, there's no real meaning, which is a shame as their music is pretty good compared to most of drivvle spewed out by 95% of the bands on this list.
  18. 18
    Nope, not the name of the group, but rather the sound of every women's jaw dropping after hearing George Michael coming out the closet. Gotcha ladies!
  19. 19
    Puddle of Mudd
    Photo: Freebase/CC-BY

    The 1993 Missouri River flood left the band's practice space a muddy mess, which led them to this name-instead of the far better one, Missouri River Flood.

    Why it's ridiculous: Not only do we get an extra "d" for no reason,we also have the privilege of getting an altogether unnecessary word. No, it couldn't just be Mudd Puddle. We definitely need that extra "of." Just like when you're ordering lunch and will sometimes get a potato of jackets or chocolate of cake, heck, even afterwards i'll take you out for dinner at that nice Bell of Taco or Hut of Pizza, the choice is yours.

    What do you mean you're breaking up with me?

  20. 20
    List of things wrong with this band:

    1. Clown's are not cool, nor is it cool when you rap dressed as one.
    2. Renaming yourselves Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope sounds like a whoopie cushion & Scooby Doo's hippy friend even more stoned than usual.
    3. A posse is a group of people or "homies," therefore a posse of 2 overweight children entertainers is hardly giving off a 'bad boyz vibe'
    4. Changing your name from Inner City Posse to Insane Clown Posse is a bad move by anyone's guess, you're 40 now, get a life.
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