- 1+ 34- 0
The SnoopLock your doors and reset your passwords because this kind of roommate has no idea what privacy looks like. You're not quite sure what they get out of looking through your closets and reading your emails, but you're pretty sure they've got a bright future if Facebook is ever hiring.
- 2+ 34- 0
The ThiefThey don't know where it is and they don't know how it got in their room, but they definitely had nothing to do with hiding it in their secret drawer with the other stuff you thought went missing. But don't feel special, their sticky fingers have a big reach no matter where they go. Well, at least you both get a nice TV out of it.
- 3+ 29- 6
The SlobIf you haven't been able to see your bathroom sink for over a week and you live in daily fear of opening tupperware in your fridge that you didn't pack yourself, chances are you're living with a slob. Why pick up after themselves when they've got you around?
- 4+ 25- 5
The My Stereo Goes to 11!If your roommate trips and falls in their room and nobody is home, do they make a sound? Nobody knows, because your roommate has been blasting the same wubwub dub step track so unfathomably loud that the entire apartment complex would probably ignore it even if they did.
- 5+ 23- 4
The Drama MagnetWhy can't you understand?! It's not their fault that they missed their shift at work. And that their car was towed after being in the red zone for only, like, a minute. And that their friend got them both arrested because they tried to steal a police horse. And that that horse is now in your yard eating your new vegetable garden. It's really, like, not their fault, OK? Don't be so judgmental!
- 6+ 18- 4
The Human Cling WrapWhy get their own friends when they've got you in their life? By the way, what are you doing tonight? Because if you don't mind, they'd like to come with. Boundaries? What boundaries? Why put a wall around this friendship when it's only meant to grow together!
- 7+ 16- 3
The I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MY ART TO YOUYou could use your freezer for about a half dozen frozen pizzas. OR, you could use it to house all of the dead animals you've found on the side of the road that you will use in your taxidermy... eventually. Living with an artist is great. Living with an ARTIST can get a little, messy.
- 8+ 14- 2
The I.O.U.They'll get you the rent in a week or so, just spot them this time, and they'll even give you double that, honest! OK, maybe not in a couple weeks... also, can you buy the toilet paper again? They would have picked some up but they needed new headphones. What? It's for work. Get you next time, bro!
- 9+ 16- 4
The 24 Hour Party PersonWe all enjoy getting down every now and again, but this party animal brings it home so hard that you'd swear a stampede went through your living room. And forget about keeping some booze on hand for you. That got used for shots last week to celebrate surviving the fourth lifetime stomach pump (after that, the fifth one is free)!
- 10+ 13- 2
The TV HogOne of the wonders of modern technology is that you can both watch and play practically whatever you want, wherever you want from the comfort of your own laptop or phone. But sometimes you want to get out of your room and use the big TV in the common area for a movie night. Too bad your roommate is there, binge-watching the entire Netflix catalogue and adding more definition to their permanent butt indent on the couch.
- 11+ 13- 3
The Food BurglarRemember that amazing dinner you had last night? The one that waiter/wizard turned into an incredible, aluminum foil-wrapped swan that's just waiting for you in your fridge? It's dead now. Well, it was probably dead before. But it's gone to another place now... your roommate's stomach.
- 12+ 13- 3
The Wait, When Did You Move In?Nobody is sure how they got on the couch, but it's pretty clear where all the burritos in the freezer went. Couch surfers traveling in and out of town are one thing, but there comes a point in time when they should probably start paying rent. Or at least stock up the burritos.
- 13+ 18- 8
The Absentminded Pet OwnerSure, you think rooming with a pet owner is going to be 24/7 tummy rubs and couch cuddling with their pet without all that pesky responsibility. But you'd hope SOMEBODY would be responsible for this needy creature and all the poop it makes!
- 14+ 12- 4
The PDA All DayYour roommate finally found someone they really have a connection with. Hurray! But part of you really wishes they wouldn't connect all the time, in every part of your apartment, while you're still in the room.
- 15+ 13- 6
The ExhibitionistYou know you pay rent, but did you know you also get free tickets to the wang show? It's not in the lease agreement that they can't let it all hang out, but it's not not in the agreement either. Better hope your leather couch is Scotchgarded... at least you hope that's a leather couch.
- 16+ 12- 6
The Human BongThere's no part of "no smoking indoors" that they understand. You can either get used to living on the inside of a skunk's butt or you can get high enough to think that that joke was funny.
- 17+ 14- 8
The Note MakerIf being passive aggressive was a sport, this person would not only be the MVP, they'd also be the bitchy cheerleader telling you how much you suck behind her pompoms. Sure, they could tell you their grievances to your face, but what would happen to the stock holders of Post-It if they ever acted like adults?
- 18+ 12- 7
The MomPoor little bird – you left the family nest to find your wings only to discover there's a whole new mama ready to sit on you. Odds are, this is a close friend who only wants what's best for you. But they should keep their beak out of it and let you make your own mistakes once in a while.
- 19+ 11- 6
The Loud LovemakerHonestly, you're happy that your roommate and their new "friend" are having a nice time, but do they have to have a nice time in DOLBY SURROUND SOUND? The walls aren't even paper thin, but you have such a good picture about their activities that you're practically having a threesome.
- 20+ 13- 9
The PranksterWho doesn't love waking up in a bed filled with soil and earthworms as your roommate cackles down the hall with their camera? Living with a roommate who loves to prank is like signing up to be a substitute teacher in a locked detention room for the rest of your lease.
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