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- 1+ 34- 0
The SnoopLock your doors and reset your passwords because this kind of roommate has no idea what privacy looks like. You're not quite sure what they get out of looking through your closets and reading your emails, but you're pretty sure they've got a bright future if Facebook is ever hiring.
- 2+ 34- 0
The ThiefThey don't know where it is and they don't know how it got in their room, but they definitely had nothing to do with hiding it in their secret drawer with the other stuff you thought went missing. But don't feel special, their sticky fingers have a big reach no matter where they go. Well, at least you both get a nice TV out of it.
- 3+ 29- 6
The SlobIf you haven't been able to see your bathroom sink for over a week and you live in daily fear of opening tupperware in your fridge that you didn't pack yourself, chances are you're living with a slob. Why pick up after themselves when they've got you around?
- 4+ 25- 5
The My Stereo Goes to 11!If your roommate trips and falls in their room and nobody is home, do they make a sound? Nobody knows, because your roommate has been blasting the same wubwub dub step track so unfathomably loud that the entire apartment complex would probably ignore it even if they did.
- 5+ 23- 4
The Drama MagnetWhy can't you understand?! It's not their fault that they missed their shift at work. And that their car was towed after being in the red zone for only, like, a minute. And that their friend got them both arrested because they tried to steal a police horse. And that that horse is now in your yard eating your new vegetable garden. It's really, like, not their fault, OK? Don't be so judgmental!
- 6+ 18- 4
The Human Cling WrapWhy get their own friends when they've got you in their life? By the way, what are you doing tonight? Because if you don't mind, they'd like to come with. Boundaries? What boundaries? Why put a wall around this friendship when it's only meant to grow together!
- 7+ 16- 3
The I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MY ART TO YOUYou could use your freezer for about a half dozen frozen pizzas. OR, you could use it to house all of the dead animals you've found on the side of the road that you will use in your taxidermy... eventually. Living with an artist is great. Living with an ARTIST can get a little, messy.
- 8+ 14- 2
The I.O.U.They'll get you the rent in a week or so, just spot them this time, and they'll even give you double that, honest! OK, maybe not in a couple weeks... also, can you buy the toilet paper again? They would have picked some up but they needed new headphones. What? It's for work. Get you next time, bro!