Zoolander Movie Quotes Anything
+Vote List
by  tags 71 votes 18 voters 37,874 views 13 items f p @

Zoolander Movie Quotes

"Zoolander" movie quotes allow viewers to get inside the head of three-time male model of the year Derek Zoolander as he ponders the important things, like if there is more to life than being really, really, really, ridiculously good looking. So grab an orange mocha frappaccino and some crazy pills and enjoy the finer moments from the 2001 comedy film "Zoolander."

Starring the likes of Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell and Christine Taylor, "Zoolander" provides a look into the competitive world of male modeling, Two models, Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) and Hansel (Owen Wilson), go from being sworn enemies to joining forces to stop an evil assassination attempt by clothing designer Jacobim Mugatu to kill the Prime Rib Roast, erm, Prime Minister of Malaysia.

Along the way, viewers learn that being a male model is tough, especially when all of your roommates die in a freak gasoline fight accident and you have to give their eugoogooly at the funeral, then someone offers you a center for ants instead of a Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Want to Learn How to Do Others Things Good Too. It gets worse when you're not an ambi-turner, you know, someone who can't turn left, and you're brainwashed at a day, spelled D-A-I-Y-E, spa.

As awesome as these funny "Zoolander" quotes are, the film was considered somewhat of a flop when it was first released. It later became somewhat of a cult favorite and attracted such a strong following that Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and many others have signed on to produce a sequel, set to hit theaters in 2013. So practice your Blue Steel, your La Tigra and of course your Magnum. Zoolander is back, baby!

L The List
B Comments
& Embed
G Options
  1. 1
    + 10
    - 1

    Investigatory Journalist

    Derek Zoolander: "Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your 'do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way'?"

    Poor Derek. While speaking to investigatory journalist Matilda, he falls into a never-ending circle of speech that seems to go on forever. Little does he know that Matilda is actually on his side, not trying to leave people dead and bloodied and dying along the way to make a name for herself as an investigatory journalist.

  2. 2
    + 7
    - 1

    A Bad Eugoogoolizer

    Matilda: "Derek? Derek, hey!"
    Derek Zoolander: "What do you want?"
    Matilda: "Actually, I'm trying to talk to Mugatu but he's tougher to get to than the president."
    Derek Zoolander: "Oh, I thought you were going to tell me what a bad eugoogoolizer I am?"
    Matilda: "A what?"
    Derek Zoolander: "A eugoogoolizer... one who speaks at funerals."
    (Matilda looks at Derek confused)
    Derek Zoolander: "Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a eugoogooly was?"

    It's a good thing that Derek Zoolander is really, really, really ridiculously good looking since as his creative pronunciation of eulogy, the speech he gave after his roommates all died in a freak gasoline fight accident, isn't going to win him a Nobel Prize anytime soon.

  3. 3
    + 5
    - 1

    I'm Not An Ambi-Turner

    Derek Zoolander: "And all he had to do was turn left."
    Matilda: "What do you mean?"
    Derek Zoolander: "I'm not an ambi-turner. It's a problem I had since I was a baby. I can't turn left."
    Matilda: "Derek, that's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who can't turn...I mean, there have got to be some people out there just like you who can't...turn...turn...left."

    Showing us interesting new conditions we've never heard of before, Derek Zoolander painfully explains to Matilda about his problem turning... left. As Derek's agent Maury later explains, some models go right at the end of the runway and others turn left. Derek is no ambi-turner, he does not turn left.

  4. 4
    + 5
    - 1

    Crazy Pills

    Mugatu: "SHUT UP! Enough already, Ballstein! Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? NOTHING! YOU'VE DONE NOTHING! NOTHIIIING! And I will be a monkey's uncle if I let you ruin this for me, because if you can't get the job done, then I will!"

    Right as it's time for Derek Zoolander to kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia, he stops, much to the displeasure of Mugatu, who follows with a lengthy tirade about everything from inventing the piano key necktie eons ago to how Derek Zoolander looks are all the same. As much as assassinating foreign leaders is bad, Mugatu does have a point.

  5. 5
    + 4
    - 0


    Derek Zoolander: "One look?... ONE LOOK?! I don't think so!"
    (Derek reveals Magnum)
    Hansel: "There it is"
    Todd: "Magnum"
    Larry Zoolander: "Holy moly"
    Maury Ballstein: "Yeah baby! That's what I've been waiting for!"

    After being told repeatedly that he only has one look, he just names it different things, Derek Zoolander unveils Magnum, the big look he's been working on for years. While it really is the same look at Blue Steel, Ferarri and Le Tigra, it stops Mugatu's throwing star in mid-air and saves the Prime Minister of Malaysia from a certain death.

  6. 6
    + 4
    - 1


    Matilda: "Uh, Derek, I don't know if you're familiar with the belief that some aboriginal tribes hold. It's the concept that a photo might steal a part of your soul. I mean, what are your thoughts on that as someone who gets his picture taken for a living?"
    Derek Zoolander: "Well, I guess I would have to answer your question with another question. How many abodiginals do you see modeling?"

    Derek Zoolander may be an airhead but he certainly has a point in this scene from the opening of the film. I can't say that I've ever seen an abodoginal modeling, or an abodiginal doing anything really. Derek: 1, Matilda: 0.

14 +

Something missing? Add it!

L List Options B Comments & Embed z Share Next List >