L The List
- 1+ 8- 1
Investigatory JournalistDerek Zoolander: "Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your 'do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way'?"
Poor Derek. While speaking to investigatory journalist Matilda, he falls into a never-ending circle of speech that seems to go on forever. Little does he know that Matilda is actually on his side, not trying to leave people dead and bloodied and dying along the way to make a name for herself as an investigatory journalist.
- 2+ 6- 1
A Bad EugoogoolizerMatilda: "Derek? Derek, hey!"
Derek Zoolander: "What do you want?"
Matilda: "Actually, I'm trying to talk to Mugatu but he's tougher to get to than the president."
Derek Zoolander: "Oh, I thought you were going to tell me what a bad eugoogoolizer I am?"
Matilda: "A what?"
Derek Zoolander: "A eugoogoolizer... one who speaks at funerals."
(Matilda looks at Derek confused)
Derek Zoolander: "Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a eugoogooly was?"
It's a good thing that Derek Zoolander is really, really, really ridiculously good looking since as his creative pronunciation of eulogy, the speech he gave after his roommates all died in a freak gasoline fight accident, isn't going to win him a Nobel Prize anytime soon.
- 3+ 4- 1
I'm Not An Ambi-Turner
Derek Zoolander: "And all he had to do was turn left."
Matilda: "What do you mean?"
Derek Zoolander: "I'm not an ambi-turner. It's a problem I had since I was a baby. I can't turn left."
Matilda: "Derek, that's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who can't turn...I mean, there have got to be some people out there just like you who can't...turn...turn...left."
Showing us interesting new conditions we've never heard of before, Derek Zoolander painfully explains to Matilda about his problem turning... left. As Derek's agent Maury later explains, some models go right at the end of the runway and others turn left. Derek is no ambi-turner, he does not turn left.
- 4+ 4- 1
AbodiginalsMatilda: "Uh, Derek, I don't know if you're familiar with the belief that some aboriginal tribes hold. It's the concept that a photo might steal a part of your soul. I mean, what are your thoughts on that as someone who gets his picture taken for a living?"
Derek Zoolander: "Well, I guess I would have to answer your question with another question. How many abodiginals do you see modeling?"
Derek Zoolander may be an airhead but he certainly has a point in this scene from the opening of the film. I can't say that I've ever seen an abodoginal modeling, or an abodiginal doing anything really. Derek: 1, Matilda: 0.
- 5+ 4- 1
Crazy PillsMugatu: "SHUT UP! Enough already, Ballstein! Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? NOTHING! YOU'VE DONE NOTHING! NOTHIIIING! And I will be a monkey's uncle if I let you ruin this for me, because if you can't get the job done, then I will!"
Right as it's time for Derek Zoolander to kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia, he stops, much to the displeasure of Mugatu, who follows with a lengthy tirade about everything from inventing the piano key necktie eons ago to how Derek Zoolander looks are all the same. As much as assassinating foreign leaders is bad, Mugatu does have a point.
- 6+ 3- 0
Magnum!Derek Zoolander: "One look?... ONE LOOK?! I don't think so!"
(Derek reveals Magnum)
Hansel: "There it is"
Larry Zoolander: "Holy moly"
Maury Ballstein: "Yeah baby! That's what I've been waiting for!"
After being told repeatedly that he only has one look, he just names it different things, Derek Zoolander unveils Magnum, the big look he's been working on for years. While it really is the same look at Blue Steel, Ferarri and Le Tigra, it stops Mugatu's throwing star in mid-air and saves the Prime Minister of Malaysia from a certain death.