Zoolander Movie Quotes

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"Zoolander" movie quotes allow viewers to get inside the head of three-time male model of the year Derek Zoolander as he ponders the important things, like if there is more to life than being really, really, really, ridiculously good looking. So grab an orange mocha frappaccino and some crazy pills and enjoy the finer moments from the 2001 comedy film "Zoolander."

Starring the likes of Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell and Christine Taylor, "Zoolander" provides a look into the competitive world of male modeling, Two models, Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) and Hansel (Owen Wilson), go from being sworn enemies to joining forces to stop an evil assassination attempt by clothing designer Jacobim Mugatu to kill the Prime Rib Roast, erm, Prime Minister of Malaysia.

Along the way, viewers learn that being a male model is tough, especially when all of your roommates die in a freak gasoline fight accident and you have to give their eugoogooly at the funeral, then someone offers you a center for ants instead of a Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Want to Learn How to Do Others Things Good Too. It gets worse when you're not an ambi-turner, you know, someone who can't turn left, and you're brainwashed at a day, spelled D-A-I-Y-E, spa.

As awesome as these funny "Zoolander" quotes are, the film was considered somewhat of a flop when it was first released. It later became somewhat of a cult favorite and attracted such a strong following that Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and many others have signed on to produce a sequel, set to hit theaters in 2013. So practice your Blue Steel, your La Tigra and of course your Magnum. Zoolander is back, baby!
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    Investigatory Journalist

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    Derek Zoolander: "Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your 'do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way'?"

    Poor Derek. While speaking to investigatory journalist Matilda, he falls into a never-ending circle of speech that seems to go on forever. Little does he know that Matilda is actually on his side, not trying to leave people dead and bloodied and dying along the way to make a name for herself as an investigatory journalist.
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    A Bad Eugoogoolizer

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    Matilda: "Derek? Derek, hey!"
    Derek Zoolander: "What do you want?"
    Matilda: "Actually, I'm trying to talk to Mugatu but he's tougher to get to than the president."
    Derek Zoolander: "Oh, I thought you were going to tell me what a bad eugoogoolizer I am?"
    Matilda: "A what?"
    Derek Zoolander: "A eugoogoolizer... one who speaks at funerals."
    (Matilda looks at Derek confused)
    Derek Zoolander: "Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a eugoogooly was?"

    It's a good thing that Derek Zoolander is really, really, really ridiculously good looking since as his creative pronunciation of eulogy, the speech he gave after his roommates all died in a freak gasoline fight accident, isn't going to win him a Nobel Prize anytime soon.
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    I'm Not An Ambi-Turner

    I'm Not An Ambi-Turner is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Zoolander Movie Quotes
    Photo: user uploaded image

    Derek Zoolander: "And all he had to do was turn left."
    Matilda: "What do you mean?"
    Derek Zoolander: "I'm not an ambi-turner. It's a problem I had since I was a baby. I can't turn left."
    Matilda: "Derek, that's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who can't turn...I mean, there have got to be some people out there just like you who can't...turn...turn...left."

    Showing us interesting new conditions we've never heard of before, Derek Zoolander painfully explains to Matilda about his problem turning... left. As Derek's agent Maury later explains, some models go right at the end of the runway and others turn left. Derek is no ambi-turner, he does not turn left.
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    Crazy Pills

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    Mugatu: "SHUT UP! Enough already, Ballstein! Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? NOTHING! YOU'VE DONE NOTHING! NOTHIIIING! And I will be a monkey's uncle if I let you ruin this for me, because if you can't get the job done, then I will!"

    Right as it's time for Derek Zoolander to kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia, he stops, much to the displeasure of Mugatu, who follows with a lengthy tirade about everything from inventing the piano key necktie eons ago to how Derek Zoolander looks are all the same. As much as assassinating foreign leaders is bad, Mugatu does have a point.
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    A Center For Ants

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    Mugatu: "Let's get back to the reason that we're really here. Without much further ado, I give you the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good."
    Derek Zoolander: (Looks at the tiny scale model of the proposed center) "What is this?!? A center for ants?!?"
    Mugatu: "What?"
    Derek Zoolander: "How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?"

    Ah, poor Derek Zoolander is finally offered his own center for kids who can't read good and want to learn how to do other stuff good too, but in a confused state has no idea that the scale model he's shown of the building is only a tiny model, not the actual finished product.
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    Magnum!

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    Derek Zoolander: "One look?... ONE LOOK?! I don't think so!"
    (Derek reveals Magnum)
    Hansel: "There it is"
    Todd: "Magnum"
    Larry Zoolander: "Holy moly"
    Maury Ballstein: "Yeah baby! That's what I've been waiting for!"

    After being told repeatedly that he only has one look, he just names it different things, Derek Zoolander unveils Magnum, the big look he's been working on for years. While it really is the same look at Blue Steel, Ferarri and Le Tigra, it stops Mugatu's throwing star in mid-air and saves the Prime Minister of Malaysia from a certain death.
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    Really, Really, Really, Ridiculously Good Looking

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    Derek Zoolander: "I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is."

    After losing the Male Model of the Year Award in embarrassing fashion to rival model Hansel, Derek Zoolander has one of his deepest thoughts ever. Derek ponders if there's more to life than being nice on the eyes, much to the confusion of his model housemates.
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    You Can Read Minds?

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    Matilda: "I couldn't understand why I didn't look like them. I just didn't get it so I became, so, um, I became..."
    Hansel: "What?"
    Matilda: "Bulimic"
    Derek Zoolander: "You can read minds?"

    Since clearly Derek and Hansel see nothing wrong with throwing up after every meal, especially right before a big shoot or show, they are utterly perplexed when Matilda admits that she suffered from bulimia. To make matters worse, Derek confuses being bulimic with being someone who can read others' minds, which are two things that could not be more different from one another.
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