Says; "Hey guys, I'm here to party, pound a few with my friends, and keep my eye on the Sportscenter I already watched earlier. Have you seen the label? I believe it is the sexiest looking bottle out there. Look at the splashing wave, it's like, should I surf it? Or drink it? I'm not going to spring for the $1 dollar extra import, because I love America! What? Anheuser-Busch got bought out by WHO?"