Watchworthy

The Best '30 Minutes or Less' Quotes 

Movie and TV Quotes
Updated October 3, 2019 59 votes 30 voters 49.8k views 13 items

30 Minutes or Less is a highly quotable action-comedy movie, with plenty of hilarious lines to keep everyone entertained. These 30 Minutes or Less quotes are just a taste of what the entire film has in store for moviegoers. If you missed this movie in theaters, you'll be able to see it when the 30 Minutes or Less DVD is released on November 29, 2011.

In 30 Minutes or Less, a pair of clueless criminals kidnap a pizza delivery guy, strap a makeshift bomb to his chest and order him to rob a bank for them - or else! Not surprisingly, some of the best 30 Minutes or Less quotes come from the main characters: criminals Dwayne (Danny McBride) and Travis (Nick Swardson), their victim, Nick (Jesse Eisenberg) and his buddy, Chet (Aziz Ansari). If you don't see your favorite quote on this list, feel free to add it!

30 Minutes or Less didn't fare very well at the U.S. box office, though considering it was up against some blockbusters like The Help and Final Destination 5, that's to be expected. In its debut weekend, 30 Minutes or Less took in more than $13 million - and had grossed more than $36 million at the U.S. box office by mid-September 2011. Not stellar, to be sure, but it will probably do much better on DVD.

Summer 2011 offered movie fans a slew of hilarious comedies. Want more quotes? Check out our pages for the best quotes from Our Idiot Brother and Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (though 'Bucky' got some hilariously bad reviews), Friends With Benefits, The Change-Up, Horrible Bosses, Bridesmaids, The Hangover Part II, and Bad Teacher!

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1
Your First Thought
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Video: YouTube

Nick: "Two guys in masks strapped a bomb to my chest and now I have less than nine hours to rob a bank!"
Chet: "And your first thought was to come to a school filled with young children?!"

Yep, '30 Minutes or Less' is funny - this is one of the more memorable quotes from the movie. We agree with Chet - couldn't he just call him instead of showing up at the school?
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2
Exploding Nick
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Video: YouTube

Nick: "I need your help okay, I can't do this alone."
Chet: "If I let you go and you explode, it'll come back and eat at my conscious. It'll affect my relationships with other people, like my f*ture wife and kids. We'd be having a picnic one day and I'll just be like, Dammit, I shouldn't have let Nick explode that time..."

Yeah, it would kinda suck to look back someday and wish you'd kept your best friend from blowing up.
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3
Gun to a Bomb Fight
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Nick: (unzips his vest, revealing the bomb strapped to his chest) "Guess what? You just brought a gun to a bomb fight, officer!"

And the officer is having none of it. We don't blame him.
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4
Painting Our Guns
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Video: YouTube

Chet: (singing) "Painting our guns, painting our guns, painting our guns, for the bank robbery, cause we're going with our plastic guns and the cops will shoot us in our face!"

Chet definitely has some of the funniest lines/scenes in '30 Minutes or Less,' including this catchy tune...
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