When the 4th of July rolls around, you know you're in for a good time filled with barbecue and fireworks with friends and family. It's an occasion to remember what the United States is supposed to stand for, but that doesn't mean you can't crack a few jokes here and there to lighten the mood. Luckily, there are plenty of funny jokes for Independence Day that will make your loved ones' faces red from all the laughter (no blue or white though, sorry).
The best 4th of July jokes are ones the whole family can enjoy. After all, you may have relatives from out of town coming over to celebrate, and you don't want to tell any blue jokes that could upset the people you're with. That's why we've collected all of the best examples of clean 4th of July humor. Gather the kids around and show them that being proud of their country means being able to whip out a quick retort about it.
We have numerous 4th of July jokes to get you into the patriotic spirit. Vote up the ones that leave you smirking like Benjamin Franklin.
What kind of tea did the American colonists want?
What did the flag say to the other flag?
Nothing, it just waved.
What was General Washington's favorite tree?
Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbor?
Because she can't sit down.
Which colonists told the most jokes?
What do ducks love about the 4th of July?
What do you get when you cross Captain America with the Incredible Hulk?
The Star-Spangled Banner
Why are there no Knock Knock jokes on the 4th of July?
Because freedom rings.
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
On the bottom.
Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
It cracked me up!
Where did our first president keep his mice?
What did King George think of the American colonists?
He thought they were revolting.
Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry.
What was the patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War?
What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?
If you crossed a Patriot with a curly-haired dog, what would you get?
A Yankee Poodle!
What's the difference between a duck and George Washington?
One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill.
What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?
What did the Patriot put on his dry skin?
What was the most popular dance in 1776?
Why doesn’t fire get to enjoy a day off on the 4th of July?
Because fire works.
What is the most popular sport on the 4th of July?
Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?
What do you call an American drawing?
A Yankee Doodle!
What is red, white, blue, and green?
A seasick Uncle Sam!