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10 Positive Effects of Your Horrible Lifestyle

Updated September 23, 2021 166.2k views10 items
We all have bad habits, but what do you do when your disgusting tendencies become your regular, unhealthy lifestyle? Find ways to justify them! If you do a thing or two or seven that have you convinced that you're an unhealthy person, rest easy: You can do anything you want (in moderation) and still live long enough to drive a flying car (into a building). If you need help feeling better about your unhealthy lifestyle choices, look no further. Consult this list of lifestyle chioces and read on for info that will make your poor lifestyle seem a-ok in no time!
  • You Can't Put Down Your Controller

    Video games have been linked to everything from childhood aggression, to teenage acne, to late onset virginity. For many, the term "gamer" brings to mind a sweaty basement-dwelling mouthbreather with a neckbeard swearing at racist, Southern third-graders through his XBox Live. Have you ever stood in line outside your local Gamestop for a midnight release? Have you ever made a meme about something that happened while you were looking for Alduin? If you've ever skipped a shower or two because you just had to "kill this guy," congratulations, you have a disgusting habit.



    How Gaming Makes You Smarter

    Here is why that disgusting habit rules.

    According to , video games can change your brain into a more effective thinking machine. In one study, adults who played action-based games were able to make quick - and accurate - decisions 25% faster than others, and more practiced gamers were able to pay attention to more than 6 things at once without getting confused. Another study found that female gamers were able to manipulate 3D objects better than non-gamers, and a third found that children who played video games scored higher on a standardized test of creativity.

    Due to the positive results of these studies, scientists are researching how video games affect perception, attention, hand-eye coordination, and many other brain functions not including the proclivity for Cheetos.

  • Coffee Makes Your World Go 'Round

    Is it hard for you to imagine a world without coffee? Once, when I was staying in a bed & breakfast, I heard a woman refuse to come out of her room until her husband went to the breakfast area and brought her back a cup of coffee. It was embarrassing for everyone.

    The effects of java addiction can be ugly, with jittery jonesing, immediate high highs, and miserable low crashes. Withdrawal symptoms include headaches, intestinal frustration, moodiness, and irritability.

    Life Pro Tip: Never go camping with a coffee drinker. It's just not the same.

    Why Coffee Will Keep You Alive

    You don't have to quit cold turkey. Everything in moderation.

    After all, Starbucks doesn't seem to be going anywhere any time soon, and Keurig K-Cups come in something like 4,000 flavors that you can make right in the comfort of your own tiny kitchen.

    Anyway, researchers at Harvard say: compared to those who skip caffeine, coffee drinkers have fewer instances of stroke and some cancers, and they are less likely to develop dementia, Parkinson's disease, and type 2 diabetes.

    A 2005 study at the University of Scranton concluded that coffee is America's #1 source of antioxidants, which protect your body from disease. So drink up. Just make sure you have enough on hand for tomorrow morning.


  • You Never Watch The News

    Photo: MegMoggington / flickr / CC-BY-NC 2.0

    Remember the time you had Hanukkah dinner at your cousin's house, and everything was going fine until her upstairs neighbor started talking about the situation in Myanmar? It's hard to chime into a conversation like this if you don't even know how to pronounce Rohingya. Worse, over time, acquaintances (like your cousin's neighbor) will start to recognize the deer-in-the-headlights expression you make every time someone says the word "debates." If you don't consume the nightly news, they'll have you believe that you're part of the problem, just one of the millions of uninformed masses who heads out to screw up the elections every few years by voting in people just as clueless as they are.

    Why You Really Don't Have to Watch the News

    A November 2011 poll of 600 New Jerseyans proved that sometimes, watching the news can actually make you dumber.

    Results showed that people who regularly watched Fox News - the #1 cable news channel in the country (I know, I know) - were less informed about current events than those who said they don't watch any news at all.

    You're probably reading this article on a computer or smartphone with half a dozen (or more! yike) other tabs already open to the front pages of many too-frequently-updated "information"-based sources. And you've got the gist. And unless it's your job, these are not things that will make you smarter. Watching the news, or even reading it, does not always equal being informed. Sometimes being over-informed can be a drawback, not only intellectually, but socially and mentally, too. 

    In a time when it's no longer "cool" to be ignorant of what's happening in the world, the media you absorb every day already does pretty good job of keeping you informed about the things that are really important to you. So glean what you can from what is already around you, because you'll be less likely to see/hear sensationalist headlines that drain your energy and soul. If you care about something in particular, you'll naturally become more well-informed about it. So seek out real and valid information about the topics you care about, and leave it at that. 

    It's science.


  • Most Of Your Diet Is Fried

    Photo: powerplantop / flickr / CC-BY-NC-ND 2.0

    Simply put, fried food tastes amazing. Something about dunking a piece of chicken, a slice of potato, or a candy bar in sizzling hot oil unlocks delicious new layers of flavor. Sure, it's not the healthiest of options, but what's the harm in having a fry? Or two? Oh, just get some for the table. Maybe some nachos, too.

    Why Fried Food Isn't The Enemy

    Despite what the latest fad diet might say, fat isn't the worst thing to consume. In fact, eating fat can help your body absorb fat-soluble vitamins. And, according to a 2016 study published by Food Chemistry, deep-frying some vegetables can actually boost their antioxidant content. A dunk in a healthy oil - like olive oil - can infuse vegetables with more nutrients.

    Unfortunately, batter counteracts these effects, and fried foods like chicken, shrimp, and cheese curds likely won't offer the same benefits. But man, have you had cheese curds? Hoo, boy.