90s '90s Toys All Girls Had That Were Actually Ridiculously Dumb  

Jessica DeFino
3.5k votes 527 voters 49.8k views 15 items Embed

List Rules Vote up the toys that you remember being cool, but actually... they were pretty dumb.

There will never again be toys as simultaneously amazing and awful as '90s toys — especially '90s girl toys! The greatest playthings of the decade were true originals, just weird enough to resonate with baby millennials. Wonderfully dumb '90s toys included things like My Size Barbie (what we would now call a sex doll), Bumble Ball (basically a vibrator), and Dream Phone (a patriarchal game designed to keep women in their place). By now, you hopefully realize that most of your prized possessions were total bullsh*t. Here are the toys all '90s girls had, loved, and eventually got over. 
1 321 VOTES

Skip It


Skip It is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list '90s Toys All Girls Had That Were Actually Ridiculously Dumb
Photo: Instagram

Why We Loved It: Jumping! Everyone loves to jump, right? The counter that tallied each spin pushed us to skip even more. 

Why It Was Bullshit: Everyone who owned a Skip It also had a shin full of bruises. One overenthusiastic skip could take you down like that. Also, the counter NEVER worked properly. 
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2 275 VOTES

Koosh Balls


Koosh Balls is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list '90s Toys All Girls Had That Were Actually Ridiculously Dumb
Photo: K Tempest Bradford/Flickr

Why We Loved It: Does anyone really know? Still, these stringy balls of rubber were must-haves!

Why It Was Bullshit: Koosh Balls are actually described on Amazon as "stress balls." Maybe that's why you were such a carefree child?
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3 269 VOTES

Slinky


Slinky is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list '90s Toys All Girls Had That Were Actually Ridiculously Dumb
Photo: Alvin Smith/Flickr

Why We Loved It: The tagline said it all: Everyone loves a slinky!

Why It Was Bullshit: Playing with Slinky meant literally just watching a toy fall down the stairs. The world had some pretty low standards for entertainment in the '90s.
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4 268 VOTES

Beanie Babies


Beanie Babies is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list '90s Toys All Girls Had That Were Actually Ridiculously Dumb
Photo: kafka4prez/Flickr

Why We Loved Them: So cute and collectible you couldn't resist. Plus, they were going to be worth a fortune one day, right?

Why It Was Bullshit: Nope, 20 years later and not worth a dime. We all got gypped.
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