Toys

'90s Toys All Girls Had That Were Actually Ridiculously Dumb 

Jessica L. Yarbrough
Updated November 19, 2019 23k votes 3.7k voters 146.2k views 15 items

List Rules Vote up the toys that you remember being cool, but actually... they were pretty dumb.

There will never again be toys as simultaneously amazing and awful as '90s toys — especially '90s girl toys! The greatest playthings of the decade were true originals, just weird enough to resonate with baby millennials. Wonderfully dumb '90s toys included things like My Size Barbie, Bumble Ball, and Dream Phone (a patriarchal game designed to keep women in their place). By now, you hopefully realize that most of your prized possessions were total trash. Here are the toys all '90s girls had, loved, and eventually got over. 

1
Password Journal
Password Journal is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list '90s Toys All Girls Had That Were Actually Ridiculously Dumb
Photo: Instagram

Why We Loved It: Finally! A journal your baby brother couldn't read.

Why It Was Garbage: You had to speak the password out loud to your Password Journal for it to open — which it rarely did anyway — allowing anyone within earshot to be privy to your deepest, darkest secrets. 

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2
Bumble Ball
Bumble Ball is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list '90s Toys All Girls Had That Were Actually Ridiculously Dumb
Photo: Instagram

Why We Loved It: It was a ball with knobs that vibrated. Kids are so easily entertained.

Why It Was Garbage: Bumble Ball helped a number of kids discover themselves a bit earlier than they should have.

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3
Talkback Dear Diary
Talkback Dear Diary is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list '90s Toys All Girls Had That Were Actually Ridiculously Dumb
Photo: Instagram

Why We Loved It: Notebooks no more! With Dear Diary, you could audio record your innermost secrets and listen to them later. It was the cutting edge of technology.

Why It Was Garbage: According to the Hasbro site, Dear Diary's major features include:

- A file to list your favorite things
- A file to list the things you don't like much
- A place to store your wishes
- Do math problems, quickly and easily

That just doesn't sound as fun as you probably remember.

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4
Dream Phone
Dream Phone is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list '90s Toys All Girls Had That Were Actually Ridiculously Dumb
Photo: Instagram

Why We Loved It: Dream Phone was a game where you would answer the phone to see which fictional cute boys were into you. Swoon!

Why It Was Garbage: This game taught '90s girls to sit by the phone and wait for a boy to call in order to have fun. Down with the patriarchy!

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