Nostalgia

'90s Toys All Girls Had That Were Actually Ridiculously Dumb  

Jessica L. Yarbrough
12.7k votes 1.8k voters 91.6k views 15 items

List Rules Vote up the toys that you remember being cool, but actually... they were pretty dumb.

There will never again be toys as simultaneously amazing and awful as '90s toys — especially '90s girl toys! The greatest playthings of the decade were true originals, just weird enough to resonate with baby millennials. Wonderfully dumb '90s toys included things like My Size Barbie (what we would now call a sex doll), Bumble Ball (basically a vibrator), and Dream Phone (a patriarchal game designed to keep women in their place). By now, you hopefully realize that most of your prized possessions were total bullsh*t. Here are the toys all '90s girls had, loved, and eventually got over. 
1 826 VOTES
Password Journal
Password Journal is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list '90s Toys All Girls Had That Were Actually Ridiculously Dumb
Photo: Instagram

Why We Loved It: Finally! A journal your baby brother couldn't break in to.

Why It Was Bullshit: You had to speak the password out loud to your Password Journal for it to open — which it rarely did anyway — allowing anyone within earshot to be privy to your deepest, darkest secrets. 
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2 841 VOTES
Bumble Ball
Bumble Ball is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list '90s Toys All Girls Had That Were Actually Ridiculously Dumb
Photo: Instagram

Why We Loved It: It was a ball with knobs that vibrated. Kids are so easily entertained.

Why It Was Bullshit: Bumble Ball was basically a vibrator packaged as a kiddie toy.
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3 739 VOTES
Talkback Dear Diary
Talkback Dear Diary is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list '90s Toys All Girls Had That Were Actually Ridiculously Dumb
Photo: Instagram

Why We Loved It: Notebooks no more! With Dear Diary, you could audio record your innermost secrets and listen to them later. It was the cutting edge of technology.

Why It Was Bullshit: According to the Hasbro site, Dear Diary's major features include:

- A file to list your favorite things
- A file to list the things you don't like much
- A place to store your wishes
- Do math problems, quickly and easily

That just doesn't sound as fun as you probably remember.
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4 926 VOTES
Furbies
Furbies is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list '90s Toys All Girls Had That Were Actually Ridiculously Dumb
Photo:  Alexas_Fotos/Pixabay/CC0 1.0

Why We Loved It: Furby was an ugly little animal that just wanted love — and you were happy to give it to your new, blinking, talking friend.

Why It Was Bullshit: Why did Furby always accidentally start talking in the middle of the night? The sounds that spontaneously erupted from toy boxes across the country still haunt grown ups today.
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