Movies That No '90s Kid Is Nostalgic About
In the '90s, there was nothing as exciting as the first moment you stepped foot in a video rental store on a Friday night. School was out for the week, and you could spend the next two days vegging out with whatever had just made it’s way to the 99 cent rental aisle (or a new rental if you were living that #allowancelife).
As much as we idealize that time in our life as a moment that was truly special, we definitely watched a lot of lame '90s movies. It doesn’t matter if you were a sci-fi nerd, or strictly into movies about youth sports teams overcoming adversities, there are so many '90s movies that don't hold up. In fact, they were so forgettable that you should be able to get a refund on your decades old purchases. If you’re still mad about wasting all that money on your multiple rentals of Sidekicks, then get excited for the rest of these '90s movies you aren't nostalgic about.
Maybe you liked a lot of the movies when you were a kid, and that’s fine. You were dumb. We all were. But you have to admit that despite the soft, gooey place they hold in your heart that there are some '90s films you hate now. Let the hate flow through you while and take these pieces of '90s trash to task.
- 16,714 VOTES
Theodore Rex is the apex of film producers saying "Kids love movies with dinosaurs, we need a dinosaur movie pronto!" Then they probably all went to the champagne/cocaine cotillion and promptly forgot about it.
Your parents rented this for you because they were thinking the exact same thing. Also, they were on their way to the same party. Your parents are pretty hardcore.
- 25,770 VOTES
Why did we watch The Stupids so many times as children? Was it because we only had so many movies to choose from in our library, or because the manic imagery and idiotic dialogue were just wacky enough to keep us entertained? Or were we just really dumb? The last one? Yeah, probably the last one.
- 35,112 VOTES
This was marketed as a fun, kooky movie for the whole family. But holy sh*t you guys, was it racist. Like, "wow did anyone working on this movie ever meet anyone of a different race ever" level of racist.
If it were released today, bloggers would skip past calling it problematic and go straight to throwing Richard Dreyfus in a river. So, you know, probably skip this one for retro movie night.
- 45,685 VOTES
As connoisseurs of schlocky made-for-TV movies about hot blonde witches on vacation well know, Sabrina, Down Under is a high point of the genre. Also, probably the only film.
But honestly, Sabrina's Australian adventure just felt like another excuse to bleed the fans dry. Also, there was no Hilda. Seriously, at that point why even bother making it all? That's like making a grilled cheese that's only bread.
- 56,162 VOTES
The greatest trick Hulk Hogan ever pulled was convincing '90s kids that he was a viable action star. Well, that and doing the same thing in the mid-'00s to reality TV executives. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, he is not.
If children hadn't rented this movie so often, there never would have been a Mr. Nanny. Heck, they might have even stopped production on 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain. Truly, that is the greatest tragedy of our time.
- 65,508 VOTES
Oh, wow. Just wow. What else is there to say about Sidekicks? Karate movies are supposed to be the best. They should make young boys and girls want to be the main character, and overcome adversity to beat up the bad guy with their rad kicking and chopping skills. Sidekicks just makes you want to beat up Jonathan Brandis.