comedy A.C.O.D. Movie Quotes  

Movie and TV Quotes
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"A.C.O.D." movie quotes provide the laughs as an adult child of divorce (A.C.O.D.) deals with the consequences of his parents bitter feud decades after their split. The comedy was written by Ben Karlin and Stu Zicherman with Zicherman also serving as the director. "A.C.O.D." opened in the United States on October 4, 2013.

In "A.C.O.D.," Carter (Adam Scott) is a successful restaurant owner and overall good guy who is a child of divorce. His parents, Hugh (Richard Jenkins) and Melissa (Catherine O'Hara), still don't get along to this day with being in the same room as one another difficult at best. This makes things tricky when they all reunite for younger son Trey's (Clark Duke) wedding.

To find some help in dealing with his family, Carter confides in Dr. Judith (Jane Lynch) someone he spoke to as a child about his family life. While Carter believes Dr. Judith to be a therapist, he soon learns that she is simply someone he spoke to as she wrote a book about children or divorce. Though he's betrayed by his involvement in this study, Carter tries his best to bring his family together and help his younger brother not make the same mistakes that led their parents to miserable futures. Jessica Alba, Amy Poehler and Mary Elizabeth Winstead co-star in the film.

If "A.C.O.D." doesn't interest you, check out other movies in theaters such as "Gravity," "Runner Runner," "Don Jon," "Rush, "Prisoners,", "Enough Said," "The Family," "Riddick," "The World's End," "Getaway," "Drinking Buddies," "The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones," "Paranoia," "Kick-Ass 2," "We're the Millers, and "Elysium".
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Hundred Year War

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Melissa: "Hi"
Carter: "Hi, mom"
Melissa: "People are going to think you're my boy toy."
Carter: "Don't say that… Oh, sit, dad."
Melissa: "Forget it. I'll go."
Hugh: "Fine"
Carter: "You leave, he wins."
Melissa: "Right, I'm not go… You go."
Carter: "You have both turned a nine-year marriage into a hundred-year war."

When you're an adult child of divorce, even meeting your parents for a quick meal is a hassle. Melissa and Hugh's lingering issues are shown in this scene when they meet Carter.
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Father-Son Retreat

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Carter: "Can you give me just a second?"
Dr. Judith: "Sure"
Carter: "Hey, Sondra, what's up?"
Sondra: "Hey, how's the father-son retreat going?"
Carter: "Um, what?"
Sondra: "When's your tee time?"
Carter: "My… Where are you?"
Sondra: "I'm at my sorority reunion at Cornell."
Carter: "You went to Cornell?"
Sondra: "Shocking, Carter. Put your father on…" [to reunion guest] "Oh my god, JJ, you look amazing! You're so skinny!" [to Carter] "What? Hello?"
Carter: "He's, he's at the pro shop."
Sondra: "Well go get him."
Carter: "I can't."
Sondra: "Just yell his name."
Carter: "You know, I'm getting my clubs cleaned. Can I have him call you right back?"
Sondra: "Oh my god, forget it. Just tell him that I look really good, that I look better than a lot of people here."

When Sondra calls looking for Carter's father, Hugh, Carter is put in a delicate position. Apparently Hugh told her he and Carter were going on a golf retreat, something Carter was unaware of.
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Picking Nits With Me

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Dr. Judith: "How about we talk about you, okay?"
Carter: "Sure"
Dr. Judith: "How'd you end up in the restaurant business?"
Carter: "Oh, ah, I just kind of fell into it. Yeah, I always worked in restaurants to make extra money. They were always really poorly run. There's like people doing cocaine in the kitchen and people doing cocaine at the front of the house and, man, there was a lot of cocaine."
Dr. Judith: "People just love cocaine."
Carter: "So I always thought if I had my own place, I could do it better. You know, bring in my own people…"
Dr. Judith: "Your own little family"
Carter: "Yeah except I could fire the ones I didn't like."
Dr. Judith: "Yes, that's good. You said you had a girlfriend, her name is Lauren. Tell me about her."
Carter: "You know, Lauren and I have a great thing. We never fight and there's no chaos. She's, you know, really even and fun."
Dr. Judith: "But?"
Carter: "I didn't say but."
Dr. Judith: "You didn't say the word. Don't pick nits with me, all right. This isn't going to work if you're, like, picking at everything I say. But…"
Carter: "I'm mean, she's not always realistic about how families really work. Her parents have been married for like 35 years and they celebrate every anniversary with a party. Have you ever been to a 34th anniversary party?"
Dr. Judith: "No"
Carter: "It's a lot like a 33rd."
Dr. Judith: "So where do you see your relationship with Lauren going?"
Carter: "My brother jumped in and my parents, they spent their whole lives being hasty and irrational."
Dr. Judith: "So you're afraid of making the same mistakes your parents made."
Carter: "No, no"
Dr. Judith: "I'm going to call that echoing, echoing."
Carter: "Don't write that down."
Dr. Judith: "Love it"
Carter: "No, it's not echoing."
Dr. Judith: "I'm writing the book."
Carter: "I'm sorry?"
Dr. Judith: "So I'll decide if echoing is in the book or not. And I joined a new term and I think it's clever. And I've got what I needed. Thank you and I'll see you next week. This is great."

While Carter confides in Dr. Judith about his family life with the hopes that she will give him some advice. Instead, she's more focused on herself and her book, which Carter seems to be an unwilling participant of once again.
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I'm Not a Therapist

I'm Not a Therapist is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list A.C.O.D. Movie Quotes
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Carter: "Thank you for seeing me on such short notice."
Dr. Judith: "So, what brings you here?"
Carter: "Well, my brother's getting married. My parents are, you know, being a nightmare."
Dr. Judith: "You dad has a new wife."
Carter: "Wife number three… I guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to."
Dr. Judith: "But I'm not a therapist."
Carter: "But you were my therapist."
Dr. Judith: "Oh, no, no, no, I saw you as part of a study about the effects of divorce on children."
Carter: "Oh"
Dr. Judith: "I wrote a book about it."

Carter learns a secret long held from him while he was growing up. He wasn't seeing a therapist growing up, he was being interviewed for a book about children of divorce.
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