Comedy A Haunted House 2 Movie Quotes  

Movie and TV Quotes
71 votes 47 voters 29k views 8 items

"A Haunted House 2" movie quotes bring another spoof horror comedy movie back to the big screen in this sequel. Directed by Michael Tiddes, the film was written by Marlon Wayans and Rick Alvarez, the same pair who penned the original film. "A Haunted House 2" hit theaters on April 18, 2014.

In "A Haunted House 2," Malcolm (Marlon Wayans), recovering from the loss of girlfriend Kisha (Essence Atkins) from a fatal car crash, falls in love with Megan (Jaime Pressly). Along with her two kids, they move into a new home and play house. It doesn't take long though for strange things to start happening in the house.

Before long, Megan's daughter Becky (Ashley Rickards) is possessed and Kisha, or a zombie version of her, is causing havoc. So Malcolm does what he did before, call in a priest, Father Doug Williams (Cedric the Entertainer) for an exorcism. Dave Sheridan, Affion Crockett, Missi Pyle and Gabriel Iglesias co-star in the comedy.

"A Haunted House 2" brings some levity to theaters packed with other serious films including "Transcendence," "Draft Day," "Under the Skin," "Dom Hemingway," "Joe," "Captain America: The Winter Soldier," "Sabotage," "Noah," "Blood Ties," the "Veronica Mars" movie, "Need for Speed," "Mr. Peabody and Sherman," "300: Rise of an Empire," "The Grand Budapest Hotel," "Cheap Thrills," "Monuments Men," "Winter's Tale," "RoboCop (2014), "About Last Night," "Vampire Academy," "The Lego Movie," "Gimme Shelter," "I, Frankenstein," "Ride Along," and "Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit."
1 18 VOTES

Tell Him the Dog Is White!

Tell Him the Dog Is White! is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list A Haunted House 2 Movie Quotes
Photo: via Wikimedia

Malcolm: "Come on, baby! Man, I don't know. It's like he's scared to come in the house or something. I don't know what's wrong with him." [safe falls on the dog] "Call 911! Tell him the dog is white! Tell him the dog is white!"

When a strange accident causes a safe to fall on the family dog, Malcolm freaks out. He does however have enough sense to make sure the emergency responders know that the dog is white.
12 6
Should this be higher or lower?

A Priest to Perform a Real Exorcism

Ranker Video
Video: YouTube

Noreen: "We're going to need to get a priest to perform a real exorcism!"

Malcolm: "I know a guy. He's a little unconventional though."

Father Doug Williams: [pulls out a pistol] "All right"
Ned: "Demon break! Who wants a mojito? Oh, the black guy's got a gun!"

To try to get step-daughter Becky an exorcism, Malcolm calls an old friend, Father Doug Williams. His methods however, which include the use of a pistol, are unconventional at best.
6 3
Should this be higher or lower?

Does His Imaginary Friend Sound Black?

Does His Imaginary Friend Soun... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list A Haunted House 2 Movie Quotes
Photo: via Wikimedia

Megan: "I'm so happy we moved in."
Malcolm: "Yeah, me too. You know I love you and those kids, right?"

Megan: "Oh no, he's playing with his imaginary friend again."
Malcolm: "What you doing there, buddy? Want to help me load some boxes?"
Wyatt: "Tony says, 'aww hell no! I ain't your slave!'"
Malcolm: "Is it me or does his imaginary friend sound black?"

Malcolm didn't just marry Megan but also got her children, including Wyatt and his imaginary, possibly black, friend too. What a lovely family!
4 1
Should this be higher or lower?
4 16 VOTES

I Don't Know About This House

Ranker Video
Video: YouTube

Malcolm: "I don't know about this house, baby."
Megan: "You said that about every house we looked at."
Malcolm: "This one is different. I just…"
Megan: "No, this one is perfect."

After months of searching, Megan and Malcolm find a house however Malcolm has a strange feeling about it. Megan on the other hand is convinced that this house is the one for them.
9 7
Should this be higher or lower?