quotations A Haunted House Movie Quotes  

Ariel Kana
158 votes 110 voters 59.5k views 10 items
"A Haunted House" movie quotes provide the dialogue to the found footage spoof film from Marlon Wayans. Building on the success from his "Scary Movie" film series, Marlon Wayans is back with another parody horror comedy that pokes fun at films such as "Paranormal Activity" and "The Devil Inside." "A Haunted House" was written by Wayans and Rick Alvarez and directed by Michael Tiddes. It opened in the United States on January 11, 2013.

In "A Haunted House," Malcolm and Kisha Johnson (Marlon Wayans and Essence Atkins, respectively) move into a new home in suburban Los Angeles. Everything is going well until strange things start happening in the home. Initially, these happenings, which are captured on surveillance camera, are fun, even pleasurable, but that takes a turn for the worse when Kisha becomes possessed by a demon.

To seek out and excise the spirits who are haunting the home, the Johnsons invite a team of experts over including a priest in Father Doug (Cedric the Entertainer), a psychic in Chip (Nick Swardson) and a professional paranormal expert (David Koechner). Together the group tries to fight off the demons and save Kisha from the evil spirits, all which happens humorously in the comedy film. A Haunted House funny scenes will make you laugh!

For something a bit more serious, there are many other films in theaters at the same time as "A Haunted House" including "Django Unchained," "Killing Them Softly," "Hitchcock," "Skyfall," "Lincoln," "Flight," "Playing for Keeps," "Silver Linings Playbook," "Anna Karenina," "This Must Be the Place," "Cloud Atlas," "Wreck-It Ralph," "Nobody Walks," "The Sessions," "Red Dawn," "Chasing Mavericks," "Rise of the Guardians," "Argo," and "Looper."
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Show Yourself!


Show Yourself! is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list A Haunted House Movie Quotes
Photo: via Imgur

Malcolm: "Hey, Ray Ray"
Ray Ray: "What you taping for, Kisha? We're thugs, we can't be on no TV. Can't wait to get my hands on this fool. Show yourself!"
Malcolm: "No, don't do that."
Ray Ray: "What happened to your furniture, cuz?"

Hoping to handle the paranormal happenings with weapons like thugs do, Ray Ray arrives at the Johnson home with his crew. He was not prepared however for the spirit to expect him and drop all of the household furniture on his head.
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I'm a Psychic


I'm a Psychic is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list A Haunted House Movie Quotes
Photo: via Wikimedia

Chip: "Hi, I'm Chip. You must be Malcolm."
Malcolm: "Yeah, that's pretty good. How'd you know?"
Chip: "I'm a psychic. I have a lot of powers all over my body."

Psychic Chip seems pretty impressive when he already knows Malcolm's name but things change quickly from pleasant to just plain weird.
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Investigating Paranormal Activity


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Paranormal Investigator: "We're investigating paranormal activity at the Johnson residence in suburban Los Angeles."

The Paranormal Investigator gives the quick overview of the film's plot, that he is investigating odd happenings at a home in suburban Los Angeles. Yes, that's really the extent of the plot.
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Protection From Spirits


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Video: YouTube

Chip: "You know what? There is some dark energy over here."
Malcolm: "Really?"
Chip: "Yeah"
Malcolm: "Ahh, the spirit got me! Why do you have your hands on by b***s?"
Chip: "I'm protecting them from the spirits."

Psychic Chip sure seems dedicated to protecting Malcolm from the spirit inhabiting his home. Then again maybe Chip is a little too protective, especially in that it involves improper touching.