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quotations The Best Ambrose Bierce Quotes  

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A list of the best Ambrose Bierce quotes. This list is arranged by which famous Ambrose Bierce quotes have received the most votes, so only the greatest Ambrose Bierce quotes are at the top of the list. All the most popular quotes from Ambrose Bierce should be listed here, but if any were missed you can add more at the end of the list. This list includes notable Ambrose Bierce quotes on various subjects, many of which are inspirational and thought provoking.

This list answers the questions, "What are the best Ambrose Bierce quotes?" and "What is the most famous Ambrose Bierce quote?"

You can see what subjects these historic Ambrose Bierce quotes fall under displayed to the right of the quote. Be sure to vote so your favorite Ambrose Bierce saying won't fall to the bottom of the list.

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A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be. Ambrose Bierce

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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country. Ambrose Bierce

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Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. Ambrose Bierce

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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Ambrose Bierce

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Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard. Ambrose Bierce

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Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me. Ambrose Bierce

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Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two. Ambrose Bierce

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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify. Ambrose Bierce

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The gambling known as business looks with severe disfavor on the business known as gambling. Ambrose Bierce

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Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding. Ambrose Bierce

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Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited. Ambrose Bierce

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Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. Ambrose Bierce

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Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy. Ambrose Bierce

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Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy. Ambrose Bierce

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Faith. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel. Ambrose Bierce

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Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C. Ambrose Bierce

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Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you. Ambrose Bierce

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Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others. Ambrose Bierce

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Think twice before you speak to a friend in need. Ambrose Bierce

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Pray. To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. Ambrose Bierce

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Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting. Ambrose Bierce

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Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. Ambrose Bierce

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Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured. Ambrose Bierce

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An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me! Ambrose Bierce

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Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries. Ambrose Bierce

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Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country. Ambrose Bierce

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Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on. Ambrose Bierce

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The covers of this book are too far apart. Ambrose Bierce

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Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm. Ambrose Bierce

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Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions. Ambrose Bierce

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Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. Ambrose Bierce

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Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous. Ambrose Bierce

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Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors. Ambrose Bierce

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The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity. Ambrose Bierce

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Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect. Ambrose Bierce

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A temporary insanity curable by marriage. Ambrose Bierce

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Habit is a shackle for the free. Ambrose Bierce

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Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity. Ambrose Bierce

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A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support. Ambrose Bierce

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A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. Ambrose Bierce

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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. Ambrose Bierce

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Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third. Ambrose Bierce

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Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain. Ambrose Bierce

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Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure. Ambrose Bierce

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An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. Ambrose Bierce

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A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker. Ambrose Bierce

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Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. Ambrose Bierce

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An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools. Ambrose Bierce

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Woman absent is woman dead. Ambrose Bierce

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Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable. Ambrose Bierce