The Best Fran Lebowitz Quotes  

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List Rules Must be a famous or well-known quote. If a quote is cut off you can hover over the text to see the full quote.

A list of the best Fran Lebowitz quotes. This list is arranged by which famous Fran Lebowitz quotes have received the most votes, so only the greatest Fran Lebowitz quotes are at the top of the list. All the most popular quotes from Fran Lebowitz should be listed here, but if any were missed you can add more at the end of the list. This list includes notable Fran Lebowitz quotes on various subjects, many of which are inspirational and thought provoking.

This list answers the questions, "What are the best Fran Lebowitz quotes?" and "What is the most famous Fran Lebowitz quote?"

You can see what subjects these historic Fran Lebowitz quotes fall under displayed to the right of the quote. Be sure to vote so your favorite Fran Lebowitz saying won't fall to the bottom of the list.
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Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. Fran Lebowitz
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. Fran Lebowitz
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. Fran Lebowitz
Humility is no substitute for a good personality. Fran Lebowitz
Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable. Fran Lebowitz
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail. Fran Lebowitz
Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a lesbian. Fran Lebowitz
Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion-picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word collectible as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success. Fran Lebowitz
The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. Fran Lebowitz
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step -- it is an old business procedure. Fran Lebowitz
The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one's soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive -- you are leaking. Fran Lebowitz
Life is something you do when you can't get to sleep. Fran Lebowitz
Food is an important part of a balanced diet. Fran Lebowitz
michaelj72 added If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left with Let's Make a Deal.
All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable. Fran Lebowitz
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. Fran Lebowitz
You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do. Fran Lebowitz
michaelj72 added I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met. Fran Lebowitz
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. Fran Lebowitz
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football. Fran Lebowitz
Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching. Fran Lebowitz
If you're going to America, bring your own food. Fran Lebowitz
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior. Fran Lebowitz
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words. Fran Lebowitz