A list of the best Groucho Marx quotes. This list is arranged by which famous Groucho Marx quotes have received the most votes, so only the greatest Groucho Marx quotes are at the top of the list. All the most popular quotes from Groucho Marx should be listed here, but if any were missed you can add more at the end of the list. This list includes notable Groucho Marx quotes on various subjects, many of which are inspirational and thought provoking.
This list answers the questions, "What are the best Groucho Marx quotes?" and "What is the most famous Groucho Marx quote?"You can see what subjects these historic Groucho Marx quotes fall under displayed to the right of the quote. Be sure to vote so your favorite Groucho Marx saying won't fall to the bottom of the list.
- 1Groucho Marx
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
- 2Groucho Marx
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
- 3Groucho Marx
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
- 4Groucho Marx
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
- 5Groucho Marx
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
- 6Groucho Marx
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
- 7Groucho Marx
I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
- 8Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- 9Groucho Marx
Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
- 13Groucho Marx
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
I once shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got in my pyjamas, I don't know.
- 15Groucho Marx
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make dry toast, instant coffee, hearts of lettuce and brownies. But as an added attraction, at no extra charge, my idea was to put a fried egg on the cover. I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
- 16Groucho Marx
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
- 17Groucho Marx
Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
- 18Groucho Marx
No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
- 20Groucho Marx
There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
- 21Groucho Marx
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
- 22Groucho Marx
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
- 23Groucho Marx
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
- 24Groucho Marx
I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.
- 25Groucho Marx
Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.