Quotations

The Best Groucho Marx Quotes  

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List Rules Must be a famous or well-known quote. If a quote is cut off you can hover over the text to see the full quote.

A list of the best Groucho Marx quotes. This list is arranged by which famous Groucho Marx quotes have received the most votes, so only the greatest Groucho Marx quotes are at the top of the list. All the most popular quotes from Groucho Marx should be listed here, but if any were missed you can add more at the end of the list. This list includes notable Groucho Marx quotes on various subjects, many of which are inspirational and thought provoking.

This list answers the questions, "What are the best Groucho Marx quotes?" and "What is the most famous Groucho Marx quote?"

You can see what subjects these historic Groucho Marx quotes fall under displayed to the right of the quote. Be sure to vote so your favorite Groucho Marx saying won't fall to the bottom of the list.
list ordered by
1
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. Groucho Marx
2
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member. Groucho Marx
3
dean-scott added Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
4
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Groucho Marx
5
I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty. Groucho Marx
6
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again. Groucho Marx
7
MarcSherman added Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
8
Muhammad Talha Khan added Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
9
No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early. Groucho Marx
10
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana Groucho Marx
11
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member. Groucho Marx
12
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women. Groucho Marx
13
vmstewart22 added I once shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got in my pyjamas, I don't know.
14
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. Groucho Marx
15
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough. Groucho Marx
16
I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book. Groucho Marx
17
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx
18
Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age. Groucho Marx
19
Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy. Groucho Marx
20
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. Groucho Marx
21
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped. Groucho Marx
22
There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked. Groucho Marx
23
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. Groucho Marx
24
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does. Groucho Marx
25
Hello, I Must Be Going Groucho Marx