Comedians The Best W. C. Fields Quotes  

685 votes 219 voters 21.8k views 19 items

List Rules Must be a famous or well-known quote. If a quote is cut off you can hover over the text to see the full quote.

A list of the best W. C. Fields quotes. This list is arranged by which famous W. C. Fields quotes have received the most votes, so only the greatest W. C. Fields quotes are at the top of the list. All the most popular quotes from W. C. Fields should be listed here, but if any were missed you can add more at the end of the list. This list includes notable W. C. Fields quotes on various subjects, many of which are inspirational and thought provoking.

This list answers the questions, "What are the best W. C. Fields quotes?" and "What is the most famous W. C. Fields quote?"

You can see what subjects these historic W. C. Fields quotes fall under displayed to the right of the quote. Be sure to vote so your favorite W. C. Fields saying won't fall to the bottom of the list.
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48 6
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. W. C. Fields

52 8
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. W. C. Fields

50 9
Start off everyday with a simple smile and get it over with. W. C. Fields

50 9
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it. W. C. Fields

50 11
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. W. C. Fields

39 11
I never vote for anyone. I always vote against. W. C. Fields

33 7
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday. W. C. Fields

30 6
Somebody left the cork out of my lunch. W. C. Fields

24 4
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart. W. C. Fields

24 5
I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming. W. C. Fields

23 5
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive. W. C. Fields

22 5
I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes. W. C. Fields

23 6
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. W. C. Fields

12 1
david-heilman added Boy, if you were any sharper you'd cut yourself.

20 8
MarkJStout added Always Carry a Flagon of Whiskey in Case of Snakebite and Furthermore Always Carry a Small Snake. Read More at Http://

17 7
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. W. C. Fields

13 6
My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it? W. C. Fields

7 4
andrew-weitz added From time to time there appear on the face of the earth men of rare and consummate excellence, who dazzle us by their virtue, and whose outstanding qualities shed a stupendous light. Like those extraordinary stars of whose origins we are ignorant, and of whose fate, once they have vanished, we know even less, such men have neither forebears nor descendants: they are the whole of their race. Jean de La Bruyère

13 17
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil. W. C. Fields