film A Thousand Words Movie Quotes  

Movie and TV Quotes
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'A Thousand Words' movie quotes include the best, most memorable lines from this 2012 comedy-drama starring Eddie Murphy. In 'A Thousand Words,' Murphy is Jack McCall, a literary agent who uses words to get what he wants. Later, he becomes cursed, and words become his enemy. This list includes some of the funniest quotes from 'A Thousand Words,' so be sure to vote for your favorites. If you have a personal favorite line that isn't listed, by all means, add it!

Jack McCall is a man of many, many words. He talks all the time, almost too much. When he angers a new-age guru, Dr. Sinja (Cliff Curtis), McCall quickly discovers that every single word counts. Dr. Sinja gives him a magic tree. With each word Jack speaks, a leaf falls. When all the leaves are off of the tree, McCall will die. Can Jack McCall manage to keep his mouth shut and save his own life? 'A Thousand Words,' which also stars Kerry Washington, Allison Janney and Clark Duke, is directed by Brian Robbins ('Norbit,' 'Meet Dave').


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Jack (answering phone): "She's in labor?!" (Patrons in coffee shop line let him up front) "Thank you, thank you so much, I've got a baby on the way..." (Runs into two very large guys at the front of the line) "Twins? It's twins?! It's on the house? Thank you..." (Patrons applaud)

Jack McCall is really a jerk. He'll say virtually anything to get what he wants, including spewing all sorts of lies and stories. Whether he wants to close a big deal or just get his coffee more quickly, he's fully prepared to say any words necessary. That is all about to change...

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Blind Man: "Can you tell me when it's safe to cross?"
Jack: "Mmmmhmm."
Blind Man: "It is? Thanks pal..." (walks into heavy traffic, cars crash and Jack grabs him) "Was that a drive by?!?"

Great classic Eddie Murphy-style comedy here, as Jack accidentally sends a blind man into traffic. Jack really needs to learn to choose his words, or, in this case, his mumbles, more carefully.

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Dr. Sinja: "Jack, look at the tree and say something."
Jack: "Say what?" (Two leaves fall from the tree)
Dr. Sinja: "This is amazing, don't you see?
Jack: "You know it almost seems like everytime I say something..." (More leaves fall) Hello? Hell...lo! (Two more leaves fall) "I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, I want my baby back, baby back ribs." (Many leaves fall)

As a way to teach Jack a lesson about the power of words, which Jack throws around so casually, Dr. Sinja gives him a magical tree. He's got 1000 words left - and, if he uses them all, it's curtains. Time to choose words very, very carefully.

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Aaron: "Come on what is this, Mickey D's? Let's get some service up in here! Got a man with a bad case of the dry mouth. (To client) Why don't you sit your a** down, come on..."
Waiter: "Good afternoon, can I get you something to drink?"
Aaron: "How about the distillery, to start off with, huh? Vodka rocks for me, four waters for the table and and uh, this fine guy right here, he's gonna have a hot toddy - his voice is shot. But you know what? That's what he gets for screaming for more lap dances all night! You crazy bittard..."

Not being able to talk is certainly a challenge for anyone, but particularly for Jack. Because he can't speak, he has to trust his second in command, Aaron Wiseberger (Clark Duke), to handle a very important client meeting. Aaron's not doing so well...