The Best Quotes From 'A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas'

'A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas' movie quotes include hilarious and raunchy lines uttered by the film's stars, Harold, Kumar and...Neil Patrick Harris! Yes, NPH is back in this third installment of the 'Harold & Kumar' movie franchise, and no, he wasn't killed in that whorehouse, after all. Oh, and the movie? It's totally in 3D. Must. Get. Tickets. Now. See a quote you love? Vote it up! And if you don't see a favorite quip listed, feel free to add it to the list!

In 'A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas,' the two besties, Harold and Kumar (John Cho and Kal Penn) are reunited once again as they scour New York City in search of the perfect Christmas tree. Along the way, they encounter a stoned Santa Claus, Jesus in a night club and Neil Patrick Harris being...well, Neil Patrick Harris.

If you're a fan of raunch comedy or comedy movies in general, check out these lists for great quotes from 'Tower Heist,' 'Horrible Bosses,' 'Friends With Benefits,' and '30 Minutes or Less,'' and 'Puss in Boots.'

  • 1
    8 VOTES


    Video: YouTube

    'Jesus': "Welcome to Heaven, I'm Jesus!"
    Neil Patrick Harris: "Jesus....?"
    'Jesus': (holds up crucifix) "Christ! I practically run this place."
    Neil Patrick Harris: "Oh. For reals?"
    'Jesus': "I mean my dad owns it but I'm kinda number one..."
    Neil Patrick Harris: "Ha ha, you're one of those."

    Where has Neil Patrick Harris been in the six years since the last 'Harold & Kumar' movie? Hanging out in Heaven, which is apparently a night club run by a slacker Jesus.
    8 votes
  • 2
    7 VOTES


    Video: YouTube

    Harold: "Dude, we're claymated."
    Kumar: "Awesome."

    'A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas' promises to live up to the two previous films, if the sheer amount of drug-related jokes is any indication...
    7 votes
  • 3
    4 VOTES

    Still Alive

    Kumar: "How are you still alive?"
    Neil Patrick Harris: "What are you talking about?"
    Harold: "We saw you get shot, remember?"
    Neil Patrick Harris: "You have to be more specific..."
    Kumar: "In that whore house?"
    Harold: "In Texas?"
    Kumar: "You branded a prostitute..."
    Harold: "Remember?"
    Neil Patrick Harris: "Oh yeahhhhhhh..."

    NPH, alive again, thanks to the magic of Christmas!
    4 votes
  • 4
    3 VOTES


    Video: YouTube

    Mary: "Do you wanna see my room?"
    Harold: "Ha, married. He's single though."
    Kumar: "Hi! Kumar..."
    Mary: "Sorry, I don't date black guys."

    What would a 'Harold & Kumar' movie be without offensive, racist jokes? Shorter. Much shorter.
    3 votes
  • 5
    3 VOTES

    Shooting Santa

    Shooting Santa
    Video: YouTube

    Harold: "I shot Santa Clause in the face. He's real, and I shot him in the face!"

    Well Harold, thanks. You totally ruined Christmas by shooting Stoner Santa.
    3 votes
  • 6
    3 VOTES


    Todd: "Why the 'H' did you 'F-Wads' take the tree that we had specifically called and reserved?"
    Kumar: "Who is this toolbox?"

    Harold and Kumar have gone their separate ways in the years since the last movie. They've moved on. They have new best friends, like Todd the Toolbox, who apparently has some issue with saying "f*ckwad."
    3 votes