18 voters

Admission Movie Quotes

Updated June 8, 2017 113 votes 18 voters 13.5k views12 items

"Admission" movie quotes provide the laughs in the romantic comedy about an admissions officer at Princeton who might have found a son she gave up for adoption in a potential student. Based on the novel of the same name by Jean Hanff Korelitz, "Admission" was directed by Paul Weitz using a screenplay by Karen Croner and Aline Brosh McKenna. "Admission" was released in the United States on March 22, 2013.

In "Admission," Portia Nathan (Tina Fey) is a successful single woman who works as an admissions officer at Princeton University. In addition to dealing with her occasionally condescending and quirky mother, Susannah (Lily Tomlin), Portia has to put up with parents and students looking to get an in at the university, often through inappropriate bribes. Also, she learns that her boss Clarence (Wallace Shawn) is retiring leaving her and another woman, Corinne (Gloria Reuben), to fight for the promotion.

One day she receives a call from John Pressman (Paul Rudd) at an alternative school requesting she visit their campus. There, she is introduced to a very special student, Jeremiah (Nat Wolff), plus many other unconventional happenings, like a cow in labor. As Portia and John begin a romantic relationship, John reveals that he thinks Jeremiah might be Portia's son, whom she gave up for adoption in college. Portia is faced with the struggle between helping Jeremiah, whose application is weak, get into Princeton while trying to wow her boss for the promotion, something that is not an easy task.

"Admission" joins a great winter 2012-13 movie season which also includes many other great movies like "The Croods," "Upside Down," "Ginger & Rosa," "The Call," "The Incredible Burt Wonderstone," "Emperor," "Dead Man Down," "Oz: The Great and Powerful," "Stoker," "Phantom," "Jack and the Giant Slayer," "Dark Skies," "Snitch," "Beautiful Creatures," "Escape From Planet Earth 3D," "A Good Day to Die Hard," "Side Effects," and "Identity Thief."
  • 5

    Room for One More in Your Life

    Video: YouTube

    John: "Portia, there's something I want to ask you and I know this is all a bit abrupt."
    Portia: "Yes?"
    John: "Do you think you have room for one more in your life?"
    Portia: "One more what?"
    John: "One more person"
    Portia: "Oh, John, that's so sweet but you seem like a great guy too. You can handle an axe and you have a very nice nose on your face but I have a very long term boyfriend, long, long, long term, and we are happy. We are very so happy, it's wow, happy is one of those words when you say it a lot it loses its meaning like fork, fork, fork, fork."
    John: "Portia, no what I mean…"
    Portia: "No, thank you, goodbye. This was so much better than kale."

    In an awkward scene, John tries to talk to Portia about accepting another person into her life. She assumes that he means himself and goes on a wild tangent about the words happy and fork. John tries to clarify what he means, but Portia stops him.
    Should this be higher or lower?
  • 6

    Maybe Jeremiah Is Your Son

    Video: YouTube

    John: "I think maybe Jeremiah is your son."
    Portia: "Are you out of your mind? You need to leave, now!"
    Susannah: [Shoots a shotgun towards John] "No means no!"
    John: "Jesus!"
    Portia: "Mom, put the gun down!"

    After John tells Portia that he thinks Jeremiah may be her son she gave up for adoption years ago, Portia does not want to hear it. At first he doesn't get the message to leave but when Susannah shows up with a shotgun, he takes the hint.
    Should this be higher or lower?
  • 7

    Check On Our Overnight High School Visitors

    Video: YouTube

    Guy at Party: "You are not a student. You trying to crash or something here?"
    Portia: "Yo, what's up? Hi, uh hi, everyone. I'm from admissions and we like to check on our overnight high school visitors. So, Jeremiah, are you warm enough? Do you have everything that you need? Do you need a Princeton sweatshirt or did you remember to bring your toothbrush?"
    Jeremiah: "I'm fine, thanks."
    Portia: "Good. What is that?"
    Jeremiah: "Diet soda"
    Portia: "Diet soda? Why diet?"
    Jeremiah: "I just like the taste better."
    Portia: "So do I. That is, that's unbelievable."
    Jeremiah: "I guess"
    Portia: "Just diet soda, no…?"
    Jeremiah: "Yeah"
    Portia: "Great, good, well um get back to your zombie talk."
    Jeremiah: "Okay, thank you"
    Guy at Party: "Dude, what a cougar, huh?"

    Concerned about her possible son Jeremiah at a college party, Portia crashes the college gathering to check up on him. The guy at the party thinks Jeremiah has scored a cougar, something that seems completely gross if Jeremiah and Portia are son and mother.
    Should this be higher or lower?
  • 8

    You Would Kill Yourself?

    Video: YouTube

    Susannah: "If I had to do what I'm supposed to be doing, like you, I'd kill myself."
    Portia: "Did you just say if you were me you would kill yourself?"
    Susannah: "Portia, don't exaggerate."

    Portia and mother Susannah have an interesting relationship, to say the least. It's not that Susannah wants to be intentionally condescending, but it sure comes out that way.
    Should this be higher or lower?