Silly 20+ Things McDonald's Should Put in Happy Meals for Grown-Ups  

Jason Robbins
2.2k votes 337 voters 6.7k views 22 items

List Rules Vote up the items you would most want to find in adult McDonald's Happy Meals.

What would you want in a grown-up happy meal??

The cheap little toys that accompany McDonald's Happy Meals seem to be a source of great joy to children (not the children making the toys overseas; the children eating the Happy Meals), so why not dream up some things McDonald's should put in adult Happy Meals that would get us even more excited for our Big Macs? After all, why should kids have all the fun? We deserve rewards for eating poorly, too!

But what would put a smile on an adult's face when opening that magic meal box? Certainly not a plastic ninja turtle, or a Lego toy made from the company's irregular-fitting blocks. Adults have a very different idea about what makes for a good time than their pint-sized offspring.

Here are some things that should be in McDonald's Happy Meals for grown-ups, should they ever choose to offer any. Vote up the things that would make YOU a more satisfied consumer of the big M's food.

list ordered by

1
124 53
Xanax

2
104 48
"The Hamburglar grabbed my buns!" T-shirt

3
82 48
Combo meal-specific wine pairings

4
60 33
Uncle O'Grimacey memorial beer bottle opener

5
79 50
Officer Big Mac pepper spray

6
76 48
Hamburglar-themed sex toys (Collect them all!)

7
76 55
Antacids

8
55 39
Condoms (stamped with the M insignia for quality assurance)

9
61 49
Bottle of special sauce-flavored vodka

10
47 37
"What the hell is Grimace?" storybook, telling of how the amorphous, fuzzy purple muppet thing came to be

11
55 46
An amuse-bouche joint

12
48 41
Birdie the Early Bird foam middle finger

13
46 41
Ambien

14
42 37
Student loan forbearance forms

15
51 49
"Popcorn is an unnatural form for chicken!" Anti-KFC sticker

16
51 51
Cholesterol medication

17
36 41
"Our redhead is sexier than theirs!" Anti-Wendy's sticker

18
38 44
Mayor McCheese official staff "Udder Inspector" badge

19
28 39
The McNugget Buddies anatomically correct orgy action playset

20
29 43
"Americans elect mayors, not kings!" Anti-Burger King sticker

21
24 38
"Where are they now?" pamphlet, describing the adult lives of the Fry Kids and how you can donate money toward their insulin and rehab expenses

22
29 57
"Make Your Own Chicken Nuggets" kit, consisting of breading packet, rat poison, scalpel, nugget baller, and "White Meat" food coloring