silly 20+ Things McDonald's Should Put in Happy Meals for Grown-Ups  

Jason Robbins
2.1k votes 327 voters 6.5k views 22 items Embed

List Rules Vote up the items you would most want to find in adult McDonald's Happy Meals.

What would you want in a grown-up happy meal??

The cheap little toys that accompany McDonald's Happy Meals seem to be a source of great joy to children (not the children making the toys overseas; the children eating the Happy Meals), so why not dream up some things McDonald's should put in adult Happy Meals that would get us even more excited for our Big Macs? After all, why should kids have all the fun? We deserve rewards for eating poorly, too!

But what would put a smile on an adult's face when opening that magic meal box? Certainly not a plastic ninja turtle, or a Lego toy made from the company's irregular-fitting blocks. Adults have a very different idea about what makes for a good time than their pint-sized offspring.

Here are some things that should be in McDonald's Happy Meals for grown-ups, should they ever choose to offer any. Vote up the things that would make YOU a more satisfied consumer of the big M's food.

1
120 51
Xanax

2
101 45
"The Hamburglar grabbed my buns!" T-shirt

3
77 47
Combo meal-specific wine pairings

4
74 45
Hamburglar-themed sex toys (Collect them all!)

5
57 32
Uncle O'Grimacey memorial beer bottle opener

6
77 49
Officer Big Mac pepper spray

7
72 54
Antacids

8
53 38
Condoms (stamped with the M insignia for quality assurance)

9
60 48
Bottle of special sauce-flavored vodka

10
45 36
"What the hell is Grimace?" storybook, telling of how the amorphous, fuzzy purple muppet thing came to be

11
52 45
An amuse-bouche joint

12
46 40
Birdie the Early Bird foam middle finger

13
45 40
Ambien

14
41 36
Student loan forbearance forms

15
50 48
"Popcorn is an unnatural form for chicken!" Anti-KFC sticker

16
50 50
Cholesterol medication

17
37 43
Mayor McCheese official staff "Udder Inspector" badge

18
34 41
"Our redhead is sexier than theirs!" Anti-Wendy's sticker

19
26 38
The McNugget Buddies anatomically correct orgy action playset

20
28 42
"Americans elect mayors, not kings!" Anti-Burger King sticker

21
22 37
"Where are they now?" pamphlet, describing the adult lives of the Fry Kids and how you can donate money toward their insulin and rehab expenses

22
28 56
"Make Your Own Chicken Nuggets" kit, consisting of breading packet, rat poison, scalpel, nugget baller, and "White Meat" food coloring