• Culture

Adult Things No One Prepared You For

When you were little, you probably dreamed of adulthood. The phrase "When I grow up..." was probably tossed around with an air of whimsy and desire that made the progression of days seem more like a fairytale than a slow march towards death. And no matter how much you daydreamed about becoming self-sufficient and successful, there are plenty of adult things you never learned to do that leave you wondering, "WTF, Mom and Dad?" 

Ultimately, age doesn't matter; as long as you're physically capable, consider yourself age appropriate. But there are tons of things adults do that kids and teenagers never have to think about. Buying a house? Realizing you have back-fat rolls? Dealing with sexual harassment in the office? You may experience any or all of those examples during your career as an adult, and guess what? You won't have any clue what you're doing because no one prepared you for it. 

Many of the items on this list of things you learn when you grow up can't be taught. No one can really tell you what to expect when you have a baby, but why weren't we taught the best ways to grow our savings accounts? Or how to contribute to a 401k? There should be a class in high school similar to home economics that teaches you smart banking habits, how to file your taxes, and that lets you know one day, 70% of the friends you had will disappear into the murky abyss of social media. 

Do you ever wonder, "Why didn't anyone teach me that?" We all do! So if you're on board for creating a curriculum that actively scares the crap out of kids who are excited about being adults, you should contribute anything you wish you'd known going into adulthood! We can't promise it'll end up on a whiteboard or finals exam, but feel free to print out this list and hand it to your 10 year old. And - don't forget to vote up the items you think are the most critical to being an awesome adult.
  • 27

    You Really Will Get "a Case of the Mondays" Every Now and Then (/Always)

  • 28

    Your Arms Will Get Fat and You'll Kind of Care but Probably Won't Do Anything About It

  • 29

    There Is Such a Thing as Falling Out of Love

  • 30

    Setting Up a 401K

  • 31

    Private Parts Vary Drastically From Partner to Partner

  • 32

    Becoming a Parent for the First Time

  • 33

    When Your Kids Grow Up, They Might Not Like You

  • 34

    Appearance Matters

  • 35

    How to Stay Composed When You Get Pulled Over

  • 36

    Sex Is Very Normal and It's Actually Really Enjoyable

  • 37

    Free Time

    you literally have none

  • 39

    Dealing with Sexual Harrasment

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