Relationships Divorce Lawyers Share Things They Wish Their Clients Had Known At The Beginning Of Their Divorce  

Bailey Benningfield
9.5k views 14 items

Divorce is rarely easy. There are a lot of feelings involved and, occasionally, an obscene amount of money. You may have to divide up the children, pets, and Beanie Babies collection, which can be difficult for everyone involved. And, unfortunately, a lot of folks go into divorce not knowing what to do. 

Divorce lawyers took to Reddit to dole out advice on what their clients should keep in mind when they decide to dissolve their marriage.

Being Civil Makes The Process Faster And Cheaper

From Redditor /u/FormalChicken:

Asked a friend about this once.

He said... many people come in peacefully together. It's not the standard, and it's not everyone, but it happens "way more than you'd expect." Both spouses just want the divorce and to move on. Apparently it happens quite a bit. He said that sometimes it devolves into a bit of a [disagreement] over assets, sometimes kids, but more often than not if a couple comes in together, he has a bad day because he makes the least money off of them.

He said one couple, collectively after their divorce, sent him a Christmas basket one year... Basically they wanted out and he helped navigate the legalities of it, and everyone was happy.

He also had a story of a woman who had to consult with two private investigators for her husband cheating. The first one she hired was the woman he was having an affair with.

Being Clever And Charming Is Pretty Transparent

From Redditor /u/goodtuesday:

I often receive warnings from clients about how "clever" or "smart" their spouse is and to be careful to not let them manipulate me.

I don't want to be insulting so I just say something like "I am a professional, etc."

In reality the other spouse has never been very clever at all. They just had power over my client that they built through long-term emotional and psychological [manipulation]. The client is usually pretty delighted to finally see their [ex-spouse] get ripped to shreds in court.

Using Logic Can Expedite The Process

From Redditor /u/Thedurtysanchez:

Only the rarest of the rare client can understand how they are super illogical when it comes to their divorce.

Divorce isn't rocket surgery, but almost everyone tries to make it that way.

You Don't Have To Convince Them Of How Heartbroken You Are - They Know

From Redditor /u/call_me_darling_xo:

Paralegal here. When cheating is involved, the client will often bring in mountains of photographs, text message printouts, bank statements showing where cash was withdrawn, etc. They [need] me to understand how awful this is and they want me to go stakeout their soon-to-be cheating ex. Cheating is insanely common.

My standard reply of, "Yes, I understand. Yes, I have seen hundreds of pictures and thousands of text messages. Yes, he/she is terrible for doing this to you..." is always met with, "But you don't understand, this is the worst thing that has ever happened."

Trust me. I understand. You are coming to see me on your worst day ever. I will be sure that the attorney understands your file inside and out, but you aren't going to shock us, and I am not Facebook [creeping] your soon-to-be ex. Well, I might, just for fun, but I won't go on a stakeout with you.