15 Controversial Sibling Stories That An Only Child Just Wouldn't Understand

List Rules
Vote up the stories where you agree with the original poster.

Siblings- can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. They can be your best friend or worst enemy. For these people, its more complicated. We found the most controversial sibling stories from r/AmIthe*sshole that show how common sibling arguments just aren't that simple sometimes. Vote up the stories where you side with the original poster. 


  • 1. Man Gets Upset Because His Siblings Wanted To Spend Christmas Without Him

    Posted on Reddit by u/PangolinNo5440:

    For context, my parents are divorced and living in separate houses. I moved in with my dad when I was around 16 because of my mother (she liked to take things out on me), and I currently still live with my dad full time due to college expenses and COVID. Both of my siblings visit for a week at each location. My brother and I are both 19, my sister is 17.

    We slept at our dad’s on Christmas Eve, baking cookies and watching movies. Christmas morning, we stopped by our mother’s apartment to have breakfast and exchange gifts- and I noticed that only our mother and I were doing so. My sibling’s presents remained untouched, so I asked them about it before we headed out. According to my siblings, they wanted to do Christmas with “just them”.

    We drove back to our father’s, and had a great time exchanging gifts and decorating the cookies we made last night. Then, my siblings drove back over to our mother’s apartment to have a Christmas with just them. Or, as they put it, “with family”.

    I mentioned it offhandedly to our dad when he asked where they went- deliberately avoiding details or specifics- largely because I didn’t want to make the holiday all about me or sour the mood.

    Whenever they returned home, our dad suddenly sprung a “family meeting” and spoke about treating each other like family and being there for each other. He did say that they were being rude by not including me- that we could’ve just had one big Christmas at our mom’s and then one at his instead of them driving over twice. I sat there in silence because I didn’t think he’d say anything- and I wasn’t about to admit how I actually felt hurt at the situation. My dad did say some things that could’ve been read as rude, but it was mostly saying they could’ve handled it differently or wouldn’t like it if I did something like that to them.

    Now, my siblings are p*ssed at me for not defending them during the talk. They’re both being incredibly short and snappy to me, and make a pointed effort to avoid me at all costs. They have said to my face that it’s because I didn’t defend them and the only reason our dad’s upset is because I “snitched”. Am I the *sshole?

    Edit: I’m seeing some repeating questions, so I figured I’d clarify inside the overall post. My siblings and I are all 100% biologically related, from the same marriage- my brother is my twin. Also, I’ve been told by multiple people that I look like my father- for those asking in the comments.

    4,584 votes
  • 2. Woman Refuses To Do All Of Her Brother's Work

    Posted on Reddit by u/ThornsAndRoses337:

    I won’t be too specific here because I don’t want any relative identifying me. I apologise for how long this is.

    My brother ‘Alistair’ (24M) and I (21F) get along well enough but aren’t close. My parents unknowingly have always pitted us against each other in terms of grades, “niceness” etc.

    He recently cleared three levels of a very difficult financial exam and my parents wanted to take him out for a celebratory dinner. That’s completely fine by me but I said it would be possible only after a week because: A- I have exams going on and forgive me if I’m not too confident about passing advanced statistics. B- I’m interning full-time with an MNC, C- I volunteer on the weekends. So yes, I’m not too free to go out for dinner (they want to go to a place that’s an hour’s drive away).

    My dad got mad at me for not being “grateful” to my brother for doing so well. Note that after he completed his undergrad, he’s been at home for three years studying for three exams in total. He may be intelligent but he’s been at home for four years and has studied for a collective amount of 8 months with no work experience. (I sound bitter so I’ll get to that).

    Now that he needs a job, my mom has given ME the responsibility of making his cv because I “write well” and Alistair is too lazy to do his own research. My parents and Alistair have both also made it clear that I have to write his LOI whenever he applies for an MBA. I told them it’s not my responsibility to do it so I wouldn’t write it for him from scratch but would help him out with it. Again, they say that Alistair is not good at ‘expressing himself’ and my selfishness may make him lose out on a good college.

    My parents shame his girlfriend for not cleaning his room and learning how to cook. I’ve interjected multiple times saying he’s responsible for himself but they always say I’m too hard on Alistair and his girlfriend has to do it because my brother is definitely not willing to do his own work.

    I’ve cried about this to my boyfriend who pointed out that they always seem “proud” of the fact that Alistair is lazy but make fun of me when I make one simple mistake. My parents are good people and I have a good relationship with both of them but this always seems to be an issue.

    I’m definitely a people pleaser and I’ve very frankly been conditioned to believe that every time I don’t do something that will benefit someone, I’m being selfish. Right now I’m really not sure if I’m being TA or just standing up for myself.

    So, people of reddit, AITA for:

    Refusing to go out to dinner immediately?

    Not willing to do all my brother’s work?

    5,100 votes
  • 3. Women Excludes Sister From Wedding

    Posted on Reddit by u/WeddingDramaMama_TA:

    I have seven children (25F, 21F, 17F, 17M, 13F, 7M, 5F). My oldest child, Rose, is getting married later this year. It should be noted that her husband also comes from a large family (two brothers and a sister).

    Almost all of their siblings have some kind of role (bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl, and ring bearer). The only sibling from either side who doesn't have a part is Rose's thirteen-year-old sister Iris.

    My husband and I brought up this concern when we realized that Iris is the only one who would be left out of having some kind of part in the wedding. Rose insists that she and her husband don't have enough parts for everyone and they have the final word since they are paying for most of it. We brought up the possibility of Iris still having a part like doing a reading or supervising younger siblings (the ringbearer and flower girl) but again this was also shot down.

    I told Rose that she is running the risk of isolating Iris while she has to watch her brothers and sisters get to be part of the wedding. Rose said that it's a risk she's willing to take since, again, she doesn't have enough space for everyone.

    Now here's the problem. Iris joined her school's choir early this year once classes resumed again. Her teacher is organizing a trip to Ireland this spring, where they will be performing at a cathedral in Dublin. Iris really wants to go on this trip, and my husband and I agree. She's never been abroad and the choir teacher is a member of our church, so we feel comfortable having her watch Iris. We also feel like this trip would help keep Iris' mind off of not being in her sister's wedding.

    The only problem is that they are leaving for the trip the day after the wedding. We don't see a problem with this since Rose will have left on her honeymoon. My husband and I were planning on taking our younger kids out to breakfast before dropping Iris off at the airport. But Rose is furious at us for agreeing to let her go on the trip.

    She says that it's because the trip is to close to her wedding and she'd like everyone's full participation. I pointed out, "how is Iris going to participate? She has nothing to do but sit around and do nothing." My husband agrees. If it's so important for Iris to be there for Rose's wedding, wouldn't she have something to do? We told her that she feels left out and didn't even want to hear about shopping for bridesmaids and flower girl dresses when she won't get one herself, for example.

    Rose is furious at us for insisting that we are making Iris part of her wedding and then agreeing to let her go on the trip when she refused. She doesn't like her going on the trip so close to the wedding when she's going to be gone the day after. She can still attend, she may just leave the reception early since she has a flight the next day.

    My kids agree that Iris should just go on the trip and think Rose is being a bridezilla. What do you think? AITA?

    7,144 votes
  • 4. Woman Gets Married Before Her Sister After She Announced Her Wedding First

    Posted on Reddit by u/lelelalu:

    I really feel bad and don’t know if I’m the *sshole and how I could make everybody happy.

    So my sister and I were as children always very competitive (in sports, grades..) but as I got older I didn’t want that anymore so I changed to a different sport and studied something completely different than her. She then started to get competitive with our personal life. She way always very passive-aggressive about me having a boyfriend first. Later I moved together with my boyfriend and she made mean comments about it all the time. After a while she found her perfect match and things got easier. I knew that she wanted to get married first and be the first one to have children and it didn’t bother me at all because I’m in no hurry. Last Christmas she announced that she was getting married (in 2023) and I was really happy for her.

    At the beginning of this month my boyfriend (26) and I got a call from his younger brother (24). He was informed from his doctor that he has a very aggressive disease. We couldn’t believe it and went to his home to be there for him. My boyfriend was his best man for his brothers wedding (their dad died when they were little and they are very close). It meant a lot to him. Last week my boyfriend asked me if I would marry him. He said that he could understand if it’s not that romantic but he said he wanted to marry while his brother is here and to have him as his best man. I never cared about a expensive wedding with a lot of people and always wanted to have a nice day with the most important persons in our life so I could totally get that. I agreed because I love him and I also know how happy it would make his little brother. But I immediately knew that this would cause stress with my sister. I called her (she knows that my boyfriends brother is very sick) and told her about the proposal and that it will be only a small wedding this year (with her, my parents / grandparents and some friends) so she could still have this big wedding first. She got mad and called me jealous and that I’m using a dying person to get married first. I know that she was overreacting but I also feel bad because she announced it first and it means so much to her and I don’t want to ruin her moment. So AITA?

    Edit: I‘m 25 and she’s my older sister (27). And sorry for my bad grammar and spelling - English is my second language.

    4,714 votes
  • 5. Woman Refuses To Babysit Her Sister's Kids

    Posted on Reddit by u/lecm234:

    My (f19) sister (32) “mary” and her husband (28) “John” have twins, a boy and a girl (both 10 months old). My parents were ecstatic when they found out she was pregnant as the twins were their first grand children and my sister had been struggling with getting pregnant for a while. I was happy for my sister and John but I couldn’t help wondering how they were gonna handle this financially. They’re in quite a bit of debt and both work long hours. My question was answered a few weeks ago when we had a big family dinner ( me, parents, mary, John, brother mike (21), brother josh (25) and his wife Sophie (27) ) My sister announced she would be returning to work in two weeks so they were gonna need everyone to chip in and babysit and to help out financially.

    I’m not gonna lie I was shocked when I heard this because it sounded a bit ridiculous that they expected everyone to babysit their kids for free and to give them money for their debts. Mary went around the table asking everyone when they could watch the twins so she could draw up a roster and how much money they could spare. Everyone was contributing and Sophie was even talking about trying to move her work shifts around so that she could babysit. I’m a full time college student and I have a part time job at a bakery so I really have no time or cash to spare. I’m also not great with kids, especially babies, I literally have absolutely no idea how to take care of them.

    When Mary got around to me she said she thought I could do the most hours since I was only in college and didn’t have any serious commitments. Her whole attitude kind of annoyed me and I told I wasn’t going to be babysitting her kids or going to chip in money wise and that it was her decision to have kids so it’s her responsibility. The room went silent and my sister started crying and everyone started giving out to me for being selfish and my mom said that in our family we take care of each other. I left the dinner because everyone was so mad at me and demanding I apologize.

    I agree that maybe I was a little blunt with her and maybe I should’ve offered to babysit once or twice but I don’t think I’m completely in the wrong. My family is still pissed at me and my parents are demanding I not only apologize to Mary and John but write them a Cheque to help them out (I have like $70 in my bank account so that’s not gonna happen). I want to apologize for being rude but I know they’re still gonna expect help. Am I the *sshole?

    5,392 votes
  • 6. Woman Refuses To Go Along With Her Siblings' Vacation Plans

    Posted on Reddit by u/Blahblah9845:

    My (36F) 2 older siblings(39M and 44F) and I all live in different states and recently began planning sort of family reunion/vacation to celebrate my mother's 65th birthday. My siblings both have kids and I am married and have no kids yet. Someone had the bright idea that for this vacation we should rent a nice large house with a pool so that we could all hang out together with as a big family since we don't usually all get together at the same time.

    It sounded like a great idea and my sister and sister-in-law both put themselves in charge of finding the house and doing most of the planning. We agreed to split the cost of the house 3 ways and to cover the expenses for our mom and step dad as well. My husband has a huge project at work that coincides with my mother's birthday so he would not be able to come. The other day my sister told me they found the perfect house and sent me a link so I could see it. The house looked great except for one major thing. There were only 3 bedrooms. My sister explained that my mother and her husband would get the master's bedroom, our brother and his wife would get the second bedroom and she and her husband would be in the 3rd. When I asked where I was supposed to sleep she said "You can sleep in the living room with all the kids".
    I was not happy at all. I told her that I wanted my own room, and that we would have to find a house with 4 bedrooms. She said that I would not have to pay as big of a portion towards the house so it shouldn't be a big deal, and that I should just go along with their plan since they were ready to put the deposit down. She also said that they liked this house best and had gone through so much work to find it that I should just be grateful for their hard work. I didn't back down though. I'm an introvert and I need alone time to decompress, especially after being around family and rambunctious children. Though I love my nieces and nephews dearly, there are 8 of them total, all under 10 and that can be a little overwhelming for me to deal with when they are all together. Plus I want to sleep on a bed, not on a sofa surrounded by 8 children. I was irritated that my siblings were all treating me like my comfort didn't matter at all. This was supposed to be a vacation after all, and I wanted to enjoy myself, not sleep on the sofa in a luxurious house while all the other adults enjoyed comfortable beds. I told my sister that of they wanted to go ahead and take the house I would still pay part for my mother and stepfather, but that I would be staying in a hotel. I don't think this is at all unreasonable. My sister became angry and told me I was being difficult and ruining everything. After we got off the phone I started getting messages from my brother and sister-in-law telling me that I was selfish and overreacting to what was only a minor inconvenience and that the whole point was to spend time with family so I can't stay in a hotel. Am I the *sshole?

    5,508 votes