• Culture

What Alcoholic Drink Are You, Based On Your Zodiac Sign?

We all have our standard orders when it comes to the bar menu, but did you ever stop to think that maybe your drink of choice isn't what the stars have mapped out for you? While not an exact science, there is an alcoholic drink for each zodiac sign. 

What sign you were born under can dictate a lot of things, like what kind of person you become when you imbibe a little too much. Humans have been drinking since ancient times, but it wasn't until recently we have had the wherewithal to determine alcohol by zodiac sign.  

So next time you go out, consider ordering a drink that matches your zodiac. 

  • Aries (March 21 - April 19): Craft Beer

    The rams of the zodiac, Aries are folks who are headstrong and aren't afraid to share their beliefs with anyone and everyone. This makes Aries craft beer, hands down.

    Like Aries, craft beer enthusiasts have absolutely no problem telling you (at great length) about the kick*ss small-batch Oregon IPA they have to get at a specialty store; they also have no qualms explaining why that stout you love pales in comparison to whatever their favorite is. 

    Aries also pride themselves on leadership, and craft beers are often pioneering something, whether it be a new flavor combination or eco-friendly packaging concept. 

    • Taurus (April 20 - May 20): Miller High Life

      Taureans are people who like getting their hands dirty and yet still enjoy life's finer things, so they would be an alcohol that reflects that duality. Enter Miller High Life, "the Champagne of Beers." 

      A classic, American-style lager, it has a devoted following and has been the same since its creation, just like the bull. Taureans can be rather stubborn and uncompromising and will resist the call of, "you know, there's other beers out there."

      Occasionally self-indulgent and lazy, Taurus is the person at the bar who tells you, "you know, Miller High Life was considered a luxury item in 1969" while buying it because it was on sale. 

      • Gemini (May 21 - June 20): Vodka Red Bull

        Interestingly, the symbol of the twins comes from the idea they were granted shared immortality. That makes Gemini a natural fit for vodka Red Bull. This drink truly represents duality: it's a depressant (vodka) with an amount of caffeine that could almost be classified as "nuclear" (Red Bull).

        Drink even a little bit of it, and you'll feel half or even fully immortal - for a time. Gemini is also considered the most talkative sign, and the only thing more talkative than a person who just drank vodka and Red Bull is a Gemini who just pounded vodka and Red Bull.

        • Cancer (June 21 - July 22) : Bailey's Irish Cream

          Photo: Bailey's

          There's nothing "crabby" about the sign of the crab - Cancers are usually considered sentimental and intuitive, so naturally they'd be Bailey's Irish Cream. Like the liqueur, Cancers are best enjoyed with small groups of close friends and family.

          Cancers can be deeply empathetic, and so can anyone who drinks a few rounds of Bailey's. Even though the sugary sweetness of the drink can lead to a stomachache, it ultimately makes one feel all warm and fuzzy inside and in touch with their Cancerian feels.

          Like its crab counterpart, Bailey's is accomodating and makes sure everyone feels welcome, as they have several flavors and dairy-free options available.