Without Alfred Pennyworth, there would be no Batman. Depending on which version of the mythology you prefer, Alfred is either a rough and tumble British bloke with a mysterious past, or a well-trained servant who’s way too good with computers for a septuagenarian. In every iteration of the character, though, Alfred the butler mocks Batman. Most billionaires-turned-superheroes would probably fire their help if they spoke to them the way Alfred jokes with Bruce, but Alfred keeps the world’s greatest detective grounded; keeps the hype from going to Bruce’s head. In celebration of everyone’s favorite butler, this list compiles Alfred Pennyworth's best burns.
Whether you like your Alfreds lean and mean like Gotham’s Sean Pertwee, or you prefer Michael Gough’s wise elderly take on the character in Tim Burton's Batman films, there are plenty of sick Alfred burns on this list. It would seem that there isn’t one version of the Dark Knight (animated or otherwise) where Alfred doesn’t give Bruce Wayne a piece of his mind whenever he feels like it.
One of the best things about these droll zingers is that you can tell they come from a place of love. After all, it’s not every day that you meet someone who’ll cook you breakfast after a long night spent fighting crime in Gotham. Vote up the best of Alfred’s zingers, and if we left one of your favorite dry, British Alfredisms off the list, make sure to tell us about it in the comments.
What is the point of all those push-ups if you can't even lift a bloody log?