Graveyard Shift
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Which Of The Thirteen Ghosts Are You Based On Your Zodiac Sign?

Updated February 22, 2021 51.3k views12 items

So, who remembers Thirteen Ghosts (sometimes stylized as Thir13en Ghosts), the 2001 horror moving starring Tony Shalhoub and a whole mess of creepy spirits? It's a forgotten gem that strikes the perfect balance of scares and wacky action. In one scene, a jerk lawyer somehow gets sliced in half by a glass door and the front part of his body squeaks down the pane, revealing his bisected brain. It's gory and shocking, but also strangely funny, which is a perfect way to describe the tone of the movie.

The most interesting feature of Thirteen Ghosts, of course, is the eponymous group of merciless spirits that are released into the house and terrorize the unwitting family. All 13 are earthbound spirits chosen to represent a group called "the Black Zodiac," and each "sign" has its own distinguishing features. Among them are ghosts like "the Bound Woman," a cheerleader slayed by her jealous boyfriend on prom night, and "The Angry Princess," a woman who ended her own life after a botched self-surgery.

After getting to know all of the dark zodiac signs, the next natural thought is to wonder which of these ghosts coincides with the signs of the traditional zodiac. Find out which of the 13 ghosts you are based on your star sign.

  • The Torn Prince: Leo (July 23 - August 22)

    Represented by the king of beasts, it only makes sense that Leos would be associated with The Torn Prince. Leos are known for their proud spirits and natural talents, which also set the Torn Prince apart from his peers early in life.

    As a star baseball player in high school, the Prince confidently believed he was destined for fame and fortune after receiving an influx of college scholarships. However, that same pride also led to his destruction; he tragically lost his life in a drag race against a rival. Though Leos may have a penchant for vanity, they're also known for being honorable. The Torn Prince never expected his opponent would cut the breaks on his car in order to win.

  • The Angry Princess: Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

    Ah, Virgos...the perfectionists of the zodiac. Just like The Angry Princess, you are never satisfied with yourself and always strive to become better and better, even when no one else can see your flaws. You're probably already aware that this compulsion toward perfection can lead to some pretty nasty places.

    In life, The Angry Princess sought to become the embodiment of physical beauty and relentlessly pursued cosmetic surgeries. While this came from a tragic place of poor self-esteemed embedded into her by abusive relationships, she could not stop herself. Virgos know well the quiet agony of feeling inferior and of chasing an ever-moving goal post. Tragically, The Angry Princess blinded herself in an attempt to perform a surgery on her own face. This ultimately led to her taking her own life in despair.

  • The Pilgrimess: Libra (September 23 - October 22)

    Libras' strong senses of confidence and disdain for conformity often leads them to march to the beat of their own drum. They love to travel and explore, going where the less adventurous would not dare.

    The Pilgrimess, sharing many of the same qualities, struck out to make a new life in the Americas during colonial times. However, her uniqueness and courage were not as readily accepted by the townsfolk as she'd hoped. Ostracized and a victim of coincidence, the Pilgrimess was eventually accused of witchcraft and perished in a slow, humiliating way in the stocks. A Libra is not one to simply let go of a grudge, and when the hurts run deep, the revenge will be terrible to behold.

  • The Great Child: Scorpio (October 24 - November 22)

    How can one put this delicately? Scorpios are known for being just the tiniest bit selfish. While the Great Child gluts himself on food, Scorpios are a little more likely to overfeed their own egos, especially when they've got someone to worship them. We know you love being loved - after all, who doesn't? But remember to give a little love back to the people who adore you.

    Just like The Great Child, you share unbreakable and intense bonds with the select few you can trust. When the circus-workers kidnaped the Dire Mother as a cruel joke that turned fatal, the Great Child went on a spree of carnage to exact his revenge on the people who harmed his mother. This says quite a bit about what Scorpios are capable of doing to someone who messes with their inner circle.